


Good Little Bad Little You

by iscatterthemintimeandspace, LittleSpacePrince



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 1920's Mob AU, AU, Alternate Universe - 1920s, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Homophobia, Human AU, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Prohibition, Smut, Torture, Written in RP Style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-08 20:52:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 86,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8861194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iscatterthemintimeandspace/pseuds/iscatterthemintimeandspace, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSpacePrince/pseuds/LittleSpacePrince
Summary: The city of Lawrence has always been run by three crime families for as long as anyone can remember: The Winchester, the Novaks and the McLeods. The three families live in a tense peace, but unbeknownst to the heads, the younger members of the family have been mingling - and falling in love- with members of rival gangs in the "no man's land" East portion of the city, at a club called Purgatory.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-1)
> 
> 1\. Let's Misbehave - Irving Aaronsen & His Commanders  
> 2\. Speechless - Rachel Platten  
> 3\. Lucky Strike - Vital Signs  
> 4\. Hurricane - Panic! at the Disco  
> 5\. Young God - Halsey  
> 6\. Weak - AJR  
> 7\. Feel Again - OneRepublic  
> 8\. 3AM - AJR  
> 9\. Ain't Misbehavin' - Louis Armstrong

[](http://imgur.com/Pc98X7m)

 

Gabriel stood in front of his mirror, looking over his outfit. It was his night off from running his club and he wanted to enjoy himself. He was dressed in a clean white shirt and black slacks, with suspenders and a fedora, more than good enough for where he was headed. 

Gabriel hated doing Michael's dirty work, but tonight, he had no choice. He finished dressing quickly, slipping into his freshly polished black shoes. He was planning on sneaking out to Purgatory later, and wanted to be as quick as possible. Michael wouldn't be happy if he found out, but Michael didn't have a fun bone in his body. 

His brother was going away tonight on business, after their little tet-e-tet, Lucifer with him, so for all intents and purposes, Gabriel would be the head of the family. He needed to keep his wits about him, but all he could think of as he finishing his toilette, was getting another glimpse of the man he’d been crushing on the past few weeks. He’d seen him a couple times, but so far hadn’t managed to get his name. 

He descended the stairs, taking his seat in the dining room and waited their meeting to begin.

Castiel was late as usual, and Michael was tapping his spotless shoe impatiently on the table leg. Lucifer poured himself a glass of whiskey from their cabinet on the sideboard, on the rocks with ice. “Where is he?”

Gabriel looked between his brothers. “He’ll be here.” 

 

~~~~

 

Sam Winchester slicked back his hair, making some attempt at neatness, though it rarely stayed the way that he wanted it. Dean oftentimes liked to tease and poke at him about the length of his hair, but he couldn't be bothered to cut it any shorter. Besides, he looked too much younger than his older brother when he kept his hair short, and respect was already a difficult thing to come by. 

He decided on a suit tonight. Nothing overly classy, but a suit nonetheless. Normally, Dean was the one to pick up all of the girls, always the more charismatic of the two, but there was still some friendly sibling rivalry between the two of them. And tonight, he wanted to win, up him at _something._

Pretty girls weren't exactly his forte, but there was still some compulsion in him to try. Like he needed to. Even if he felt nothing substantial towards any of them. 

He secured his cufflinks and took a moment to examine himself in the mirror. Gun tucked inside the back of his trousers, always there in case of emergencies, looking entirely sophisticated for once. Most days, he couldn't be bothered to dress up. 

But tonight…

He had been going to Club Purgatory every Friday night for the past three months. And every Friday night, his eyes would catch glimpse of an unfamiliar face, eyes gazing over at him over top of his glass every time, eyes locking for moments that felt like eternities before they at last both turned away.

It felt like there were sparks there. It didn't make much sense, but there was something drawing him to the man on the other side of the bar. 

Maybe Sam was getting dressed up to beat Dean at something for once. Maybe it was because he wanted something more than eye contact and infinities spoken in the space and seconds between them. 

Maybe he wanted a name. 

“Sammy! Get your ass down here!” Dean called from downstairs. “Bobby’s here. We’re going to Ellen and Jo’s for dinner.” 

Sam’s breath caught for just a moment before turning toward the door, stepping out of his bedroom and hurrying down the stairs, into the kitchen where Dean was standing. White button-down, brown slacks, brown fedora. Simple. His classic attire. 

“The hell you so dressed up for?” Dean inquired, eyebrow cocked. 

“I can't come out tonight. I'm going out.” Sam replied, doing his best to avoid too many questions. 

“Where?” Dean pressed, grabbing him by his shoulder before Sam shrugged him off. 

“Out.” He opened the door quickly. “I've got… A date.”

 

~~~~

 

Castiel was not there, and Michael got more and more impatient by the second. Time is money had been his mantra since their father had disappeared and he expected everyone he dealt with to adhere to his stringent schedule, most of all his brothers. 

Cas was out on assignment tonight, and Michael’s growing agitation only made Gabriel worried. A few minutes late was normal, but a half hour was off, even for Cas. Something must have happened. Gabriel fidgeted with his silver cufflink, apprehension growing in his stomach. He couldn’t stand if anything happened to Cas. Michael and Lucifer, he could take or leave, but Cas was the only one who really understood him. 

Finally Michael stood, toppling his chair with the force of his movement. “I can’t wait any longer,” he announced, looking over at Lucifer, who by now had consumed the entire bottle of whiskey. “We have a schedule to keep.” 

He turned to Gabriel, eyeing him distastefully as if he were the reason for Castiel’s absence. “Please reprimand our brother for being late, and give him his duties when he gets home.” 

And with that, Michael swept out of the room like a stormcloud, trailing Lucifer in his wake. 

Gabriel sighed, and got up. Michael had given him a list of the things he expected down by the time he returned in two weeks time. It was extensive and concise, as always, and made him feel like a school boy getting assignments from his teacher. He poured himself a stiff drink and waited for Castiel. 

Another fifteen minutes passed before the door swung open, and Gabriel’s worries were assuaged. Cas was disheveled, but a quick examination proved him none the worse for wear. 

Castiel looked over at him, a sheepish half-smile quirking his lips. “Hello Gabriel. How are you? Have I missed the meeting?”

Gabriel smiled at Castiel, the only brother he actually enjoyed spending time with. He had objected ferociously when Michael made the decision to bring Cas in. Gabriel had wanted him to have a normal life, but his pleas fell on deaf ears, as they normally did. 

"Hey Cas," he said lightly, pulling his notes from his pocket. "I'm well. Michael just left some last minute instructions in his absence, the bribes for the cops are due in a couple days, the Cloud 9 club needs to be cleaned after that brawl last week. That's pretty much it." He finished, moving to pour himself a another whiskey. 

"What are your plans for the evening? Any interested in Purgatory?"

Castiel cocked his head, as he often did when he was thinking. “Michael wouldn’t like it.” 

“Michael doesn’t have to know,” Gabriel countered. “C’mon, it’ll be fun. Go get ready.” 

Castiel hesitated for only a moment before he headed up the stairs to change. To his credit, Castiel never took long to get ready. His style and taste were rooted in simplicity. 

He came downstairs in a simple pinstriped black suit, paired with a matching hat. “I’m ready,” he said, grabbing his coat from the rack by the door. 

Gabriel finished his drink in one long gulp. “Let's go.” 

 

~~~~

 

The club was dark, bustling with people, dancing and swaying to the music. There was a girl from the McLeod clan, Hell’s Family, Meg, thought her name was, obviously flirting with the youngest of the Novaks, Castiel. Though Castiel did not quite seem to be catching on. There were two girls in the back corner, two girls who would undoubtedly ruin their lives by getting caught, but they didn't seem to acknowledge anyone else. Ruby, one of Hell’s, and Anna, one of Heaven’s. Sinners mingling with saints under the cloak of night. 

And then his eyes met _his._

Gabriel had been watching one of Crowley’s minions try and flirt with Cas for around a half hour when he showed up. The man he’d been looking for was at Purgatory now, looking at him with heat in his gaze. Gabriel was seized with the urge to stand up, to meet him, but his normal courage and bravado had deserted him. 

He’d been with men before, just a handful, for moments stolen in dark alleys and the dingy bathrooms of clubs within Heaven’s territory, but already his feelings and desires for this man surpassed all he’d felt before. He wanted him in the most primal sense of the word, but he also wanted to know him, to see him for who he was, behind the facade he presented to the world. 

It was intoxicating. 

Sam didn't know his name. Sam, who tended to keep close eyes on everyone else in the town, had yet to come across the handsome stranger outside of their across-the-bar stare downs. He wanted to know him in ways more intimate than the others. Not just a basic knowledge of who he was, but Sam wanted to know him. Know what his favorite color was, know who his family was, know how their fingers fit locked together, know what it felt like to kiss him…

Sam shoved it away. Those thoughts were wrong. His feelings were wrong. He could be ostracized, disowned, fired, never taken seriously again. No. He couldn't think those thoughts. 

But his eyes were staring back into him, eyes the color of sunlight through a glass of whiskey, staring deep into the very core of his being. The man had a devious smirk and a devilish glint in those gorgeous eyes… 

Gabriel locked eyes with him, and the very air seemed to grow thinner as he struggled to breathe. His eyes weren’t brown as he’d thought before, but hazel, with a kaleidoscope of browns and greens and blues rolled into one stunning amalgamation. 

He cursed himself mentally for his cowardice, praying that the other man would pick up the slack where he had failed. But he knew it was a long shot. 

Sam exhaled slowly and turned away from the man. He wanted to keep looking. Had wanted to look for the past month, those eyes beautifully haunting in ways that Sam didn't fully understand. There were feelings that Sam had never known that this man gave him. 

He felt the sudden wave of courage flood over him and pivoted on his heel. 

They stared into each other eyes, before the man turned away. For a moment, Gabriel’s heart plummeted into the deepest pit of his stomach. But then, he turned back. 

He was walking towards him, with purpose. 

Gabriel’s mouth went dry as the man strode across the room and over to his table. A million things ran through Gabriel’s head, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was, “Hi?” 

Sam gulped down hard. Now that he was here, he wasn't quite sure what to say or how to say it. He chewed on his lip for just a moment, looking down and locking eye contact. He couldn't quite read the expression on his face, and began to wonder if he has made a mistake. 

He was shorter up close. Or perhaps Sam was just too tall. 

His eyes were warm and alive and beautiful, dancing as he scanned over Sam’s face, the low light of the club causing them to sparkle and stand out against the rest of his face. He had a swagger about himself, something in the way that he held himself, in the way he dressed and the way that he expressed his emotions on his face. He was… He was handsome. Gorgeous, even. 

“Sam Winchester.” Sam quickly introduced before holding out a hand for him to take. 

Gabriel’s heart stuttered inside his chest. Of course the man he'd been lusting after was a Winchester. Why would he be anything else? 

Gabriel debated giving him a false name, debated pretending he was someone else entirely. But Sam had given him his proper name, so it only seemed right that he did as well. 

He took his hand, shaking it with a firm grip. “Gabriel Novak, it's nice to meet you.” 

He held his breath for a moment, waiting for the rejection that was sure to occur. They could both be in serious trouble for even speaking, there was almost no way for their flirtation to go any further. 

Novak. Sam’s ears lingered on that word. 

Heaven’s family was brutal, almost like the wrath of God, those ones. They hadn't been causing as much trouble outside of their own little clan since their precious leader had up and vanished, or died, or ran away. Civil wars had been rumored to be happening amongst them, but Sam hadn’t exactly been keeping up. 

But Gabriel. The Trickster himself. Sam had heard the stories. Tried and tried to get away from the business, tried to pull out of their messes but failed miserably each time. Each time, he'd been sucked back in, whether or not they'd brought him back by nefarious means still unclear. 

Sam gulped down and leaned back against the wall behind them, hoping for some form of friendly conversation. Flirtatious conversation, maybe. He had never been with a man, and the idea, while alluring, was terrifying. He knew what being homosexual meant for most people. They got beat up, they got fired, they got disowned, they got killed. And yet…

“So you're the famous Trickster.” Sam commented, looking down at his shoes.

Gabriel flushed. He hadn’t expected that reaction. He’d expected Sam to turn and walk away, to yell at him or punch him really, but instead, they were talking. 

“Yeah, uh,” Gabriel stammered, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “That would be me. You come here often? I see you here all the time, not that I’m watching or anything..” 

He couldn’t stop himself from rambling. Talking to dames was a piece of cake for him, but men were a whole ‘nother ball game. He hadn’t been with or wooed many guys, but for some reason, his confidence plummeted when he talked to a handsome man, and Sam Winchester was beyond handsome. 

“Your brother know you’re here?” he asked, looking up at Sam. He seemed to be as lost as Gabriel was, and he wouldn’t deny that it was incredibly attractive. 

It was almost charming, Gabe’s awkwardness. Sam smiled as he stammered through his sentences, wanting to reach out and tell him not to be nervous, something feeling right between them. Like there was no need for nerves. It was strange, seeing him this way. In the weeks that they had been coincidentally showing up at the same place at the same time, Sam had noticed him with the ladies. Always charming, always getting in a dance or two with a few lovely dames. But now…

“You think I'd be here if Dean knew?” Sam scoffed. Dean would have his head for this, knowing the goings on of places like Purgatory. Falling for the rival families, mingling as if the tension between their parents’ parents’ parents never existed to begin with, like generations of tension and rivalry had all been broken with a dance between strangers, or lovers. Though strangers and lovers tended to become one and the same here. 

Those minglings were not things that Dean approved of. Sam had always been drawn to it, wanting more than just his family. Dean, Bobby, Ellen, Jo… They were friends. Family. But some rebellious streak in him wanted to know what life outside of the Winchester family was like. 

“What about yours? Michael know you and Mr. Comatose over there like to sneak out and come here?” Sam inquired, standing up straighter, back pressed solid against the wall.

Gabriel gave him a sheepish look under his eyelashes, and grinned. He shook his head and laughed. “Nope, and I aim for it to stay that way. Him discovering this would be… less than pleasant for both of us, and anyone who we’d been with. As far as he’s concerned, we should all be as sex-deprived as him.” 

Michael wasn't a saint by any stretch of the imagination, but he disapproved of his brothers’ romantic partners no matter who they were. None of Lucifer’s paramores made the cut, and neither did Gabriel’s old flame, Kali. No one stood against Michael’s exacting specifications, and as a result Gabriel stopped even mentioning them. Better for them not to get involved.

The waitress came close and Gabriel ordered another drink to refresh the one he had been sipping nervously. His head was already swimming, but he needed to keeps his hands busy, lest Sam know how fidgety he was. 

“You want anything kid?” he asked, trying not to look at him. “My treat?” 

Sam shook his head, declining the offer. As much as he appreciated the offer, he didn’t quite know what he meant by it, whether it be just common courtesy or thinly-veiled flirtation. Part of him hoped it to be the latter, but was unsure of how to even respond if it was. 

They stood in somewhat awkward silence for a long moment, Sam cracking his knuckles nervously within his pockets. He had never quite felt this way before. Awkward silences were not foreign to him, but silences begging to be filled like this… Silences begging to be filled with confessions of attraction or witty puns or quiet laughter or anything more comfortable than this… 

Gabriel blinked at him for a moment, not knowing what to make of Sam’s rejection to his offer. He couldn't read the other man and it only made him more intriguing. Did he not want a drink, or did he want something else?

Gabriel was normally good at reading people, through their bodies or the micro expressions that passed quickly over their faces. But Sam was a jumbled mess to him, and for once in his life, Gabriel was left to flounder and writhe in the current. 

That was when the band began to play, a quick and familiar tune that he had heard played many times before. Sam had heard it here and clubs like this, dancing with pretty girls that Dean had pushed him toward. He'd heard it drummed on the steering wheel of Dean’s shiny black Chevrolet. He'd heard it crackling over radio speakers, echoing through the halls on lonely Friday nights from their phonograph… 

The band struck up a tune Gabriel vaguely recognized. He liked music, but he wasn't much of a student of it like Michael or Castiel. He momentarily turned his attention to the dance floor, where couples, including his brother and Crowley’s minion were taking their positions. 

Sam let out a small huff of laughter, lips parting in a wide smile. 

“I love this song.” Sam chuckled before turning to the man standing next to him, staring down into his drink. With yet another burst of courage, more courageous in this one night than perhaps ever before, Sam held out a hand. 

“May I have this dance?” 

Suddenly, Sam was holding out his hand to him, looking at him with a look so earnest that Gabriel’s insides rose up in his throat. 

Gabriel looked around at the others, but no one was watching them, each person focused on their own partner. 

He stood up, putting his hand into Sam’s, feeling the callouses on his palm. 

“I'd love to,” he responded with a smile, allowing Sam to lead him to the floor.

Gabriel’s hand was warm and alive, rough and calloused, worn with stories beneath the skin. Sam gripped to him tightly as he led him out to the dance floor, not caring who saw them for once. He knew that they could get in trouble, knew that they could even get kicked out for this, but he didn’t care.

Sinking into the center of the dance floor, surrounded by other couples, demons dancing with angels and not caring who saw under the dim glow of the lights and the loud music blaring. 

Gulping down hard, he pulled Gabriel toward him, standing nose-to-nose, chest-to-chest, hands locked as he pulled him close. 

Anxiety bubbled up inside of him as they began to sway, knowing that they could be seen, knowing that the whole world could know that they were maybe, maybe, just maybe queers, the homosexuals that everybody hated so damn much. But drowning in the music, caught in each other’s embrace, Sam hardly cared. 

Gabriel couldn't breathe as Sam steered him onto the dance floor. He wasn't worried about being seen, he was more worried about not being good at dancing. His usually-suave moves were forgotten in that moment, as his nervousness filled his limbs with lead. 

He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before looking up at Sam. He was ethereal in this light, crowned by the golden halo of the lights on his hair. He looked like an angel, and slowly Gabriel’s anxiety lessened at just being held. 

“You're a good dancer,” he whispered, laying his head against Sam’s chest. The steady thumping of his heart reassured him this all was real, that he hadn't dreamed it all up. 

It had been so long since he's been held like this, or held at all for that matter. His family kept most away, and his loud mouth did the trick with the rest. Even the few that got through were often swept away by the good looks of his brothers. 

But not Sam. 

Sam hadn't spared Castiel so much as a glance, and it made him feel warm inside. He wouldn't have blamed him for it; Cas was gorgeous without even really trying. Gabriel didn't have that much going for him, but Sam didn't seem to care. 

Gabriel pressed closer, until they were flush, and he could feel every inch of Sam against him. 

Having another person, let alone another man, pressed so close to him was something mostly foreign to Sam Winchester. He’d danced with girls before, but they’d always kept him at an arm’s length. 

Gabriel, though… Gabriel pulled him close, holding him tight, every inch of their bodies pressed up against each other. Gabriel only stood to about his chin at best, his head leaning just against his chest, making it easy to hold him and nearly engulf him where they stood. 

Part of him had him wanting to lean down and kiss him, pull him close and claim him as his own, but he knew that he couldn't here. Not here. Not now. 

The song came to an end, blurring into the next one, and the next, but Sam didn't let go, and neither did Gabriel. Swaying on the dance floor seemed to be enough for them both. 

He felt the soft rising and falling of Gabriel’s chest. Sam could smell something like moonshine and chocolate, like starlight and home, so close and so far away. His frame felt heavy against him, but each touch felt light, like something between angel and human, like some ethereal beast. 

It could've been minutes. It could've been hours. Could've been years, for all he knew. But finally, the taller man pulled away slightly, fingers reaching down and grasping at his wrists, pressed against his pulse as it thrummed against his fingertips, the rhythmic pound imprinting itself in his very fingerprints. 

Even though their dance was slow, Gabriel’s heart was racing. Each touch of Sam’s body against his sent bolts of pleasure over him like a short circuit. He wanted more, he wanted to kiss him here and now and damn the rest of the world. 

But he didn't. 

He could feel eyes on him, could feel the states of the other patrons. Even though there was an unspoken rule at Purgatory that no one snitched, he trusted no one with this secret. 

“Let's get out of here.” Sam suggested. He wasn't sure why he wanted to leave. Maybe to find a place where they could talk and actually think. Maybe to find a cheap motel where they could fool around - Sam couldn't deny that he'd had those thoughts once or twice over the course of the evening. Maybe he just wanted to be alone with his new muse. 

Gabriel looked up at Sam when he spoke, his pulse fluttering against the other man’s fingers. It sped up at the smallest touch, and Gabriel could only imagine what would happen if something more happened, like he hoped it would. 

He gave Sam his trademark smirk as he responds, sliding his fingers into Sam’s large hand. “I know a place we can go,” he suggested. “I'll meet you out back in 10 minutes. No one can see us leave together.” 

Sam nodded as the famous Trickster slipped away, slipping through his fingertips like grains of sand as he disappeared into the throng of people, out of sight, leaving Sam in the center of the crowd. 

Even as he walked away, Gabriel couldn't believe he was doing this. This was madness, leaving the bar in the company of a Winchester, giving a Winchester a bit of his time at all. 

His heart didn't care. 

He settled his tab and slipped out the back door, giving Cas a nod to let him know he would meet him at home. He slipped out into the alley and leaned against the wall, lighting up a cigar to steady his shaking hands. 

Sam’s eyes found the clock, watching the seconds tick by agonizingly slow as he made his way out of the crowd, resuming his position as the wallflower that he tended to be. He shoved his hands into his jacket pocket, tugging at the loose strings inside of them as his eyes trained on the clock, refusing to look away from even a second. 

One minute passed. Then two, then three, then ten. It felt a bit like hell, waiting, waiting, so much goddamn waiting. 

Outside, the minutes ticked by ever so slowly, and Gabriel’s head cleared from the fog of alcohol. He could leave at any second, he couldn't not make was what sure the be the biggest mistake in his long list, but he didn't. He stood there, enjoying the taste of his cigar until Sam slipped out to meet him. 

Finally, the clock struck the right moment and Sam quietly made his way to the back of the club, silently slipping out the back door, the heavy metal door slamming shut behind him. Gabriel stood waiting for him, leaned against the brick wall parallel to him, cigar hanging from his lips in some sly fashion, adding to his swagger and mystery. It took all that was in him not to claim his mouth right then and there, slam him against the wall and swallow up his smoke. 

Gabriel put the cigar out against the wall, and looking both ways down the alley, leaned in close. “We can walk from here; it isn't far.” He told him, whispering into his ear. Gabriel took his hand and pulled him along down the street until they came to a dingy, ill-kept motel. 

“It doesn't look like much, but it'll do,” he said, pushing the door open with clammy hands. 

The inn keeper was an old friend of his, and could be counted on to keep a secret, even if his eyebrow hit his hairline when he saw who Gabriel was with. He slid a key across the desk without another word. 

Sam followed behind the Trickster, heart slamming in his chest at the knowledge of what they were about to do. 

Fuck. _Fuck._

The fact that the person he had found himself infatuated with was a man was bad enough, enough to get him kicked out and shunned and charged with sodomy. Enough to get him killed if anyone found out. But the fact that he was getting into bed with a _Novak…_

And yet, with trembling hands and shaking knees, he was following him into a dingy old motel room, places like this notorious for the sinful actions that took place behind their walls. Sins and transgressions committed against nature, and yet, that was precisely what they were going to do. He wasn't sure how long his trance would last before Sam finally snapped out of it and forced himself to stop, wasn't sure how far he'd let this go, but after weeks of mutual pining and lust in the least, how could he deny himself. 

Gabriel shut out the annoying voice in his head, telling him this was a bad idea, as he walked into the room. He'd been here before, this exact room, although he couldn't remember the details. 

He closed the door behind them, stealing furtive glances as Sam. He looked so unsure of this, nervous and on edge. 

The bed looked creaky, the walls were a hideous shade of brown with peeling paint, the carpet was a hideous brown and red thing with too many stains to count or identify. And yet, Sam’s eyes were trained on the gorgeous creature in front of him, on the man holding tightly to his hand in a way that felt, perhaps, more natural than any other touch. Even Dean’s touch felt strained these days, like even those pats on the back were coming from ten feet away. He hadn't felt so connected to another being…

Gulping down hard, hands beginning to sweat with anticipation, he pulled himself away from his touch as they entered the room, neither of them speaking for a long moment. Sam wasn't quite sure how homosexual sex even worked, if this indeed was what was about to take place. He had vague knowledge, but… 

_Fuck, this is a bad idea._

A deep dread grew within Gabriel’s stomach as Sam pulled his hand away, and Gabriel searched his face for any indication of what was going on behind those gorgeous hazel eyes. 

Knuckles cracking nervously, Sam took a small step toward the wall, unable to look up at the man he had found himself so deeply infatuated with. He chewed lightly on his lower lip, hands trembling slightly.

“Are you sure about thi-”

Suddenly, without warning or preamble, Gabriel’s lips were crashing against his. He had to stand on tiptoes to get there, but Gabriel had him pinned against the wall, holding him tight, lips crashed together as Sam quickly melted into the kiss, finding himself grappling to the smaller man, clinging almost desperately to him. With that, such a simple kiss, Sam was convinced. He needed this. 

He watched with rapt attention as Sam chewed on his lip in a way that tore at Gabriel’s heartstrings. Taking a deep breath, he pressed forward, and pinned the larger man against the wall. Their lips smashed together with such force that Gabriel could feel it in his teeth, but the gnawing anxiety in his belly stopped dead in its tracks. 

It seemed like a lifetime before Sam came alive under his touch, melting in a way that had Gabriel nipping at his lips. He threaded his hands through Sam’s hair, longer than was fashionable for a men, but oh so perfect, and pulled him down further. He tasted like whiskey, and smoke, and Gabriel couldn't stop himself from untucking his shirt and sliding a hand along his warm stomach. 

In that moment, he didn't think he'd ever wanted anyone more than he wanted Sam Winchester. 

Sam’s fingers clutched desperately at his clothes, having to refrain from tearing them off of his body. His hands curled tight around his suspenders as he tugged the smaller man closer into him, using them to keep him close, captured within his embrace, unsure if he would ever be strong enough to will himself away. 

Gabriel’s fingers tread lightly over his bare skin, sneaking touches underneath of his clothes. It was all moving so quickly, leaving him dizzy, feeling almost intoxicated despite not having had anything to drink. He could feel the blood rushing downward, leaving his brain deprived of oxygen as his cock fattened against his thigh. 

With trembling hands, Sam reached down and began to work at the buttons on his shirt, struggling to free him of his clothes, wanting nothing but skin against skin. 

He’d fooled around with girls before, but they’d never went all the way, never had real sex with anyone. They would slip hands below his waistband, and he occasionally slipped fingers up their skirts, but it never went any further. Perhaps that was because he had never been attracted to them, his feelings of desire and attraction being almost exclusively toward other men. He wondered how far this would get. 

Gabriel was drowning. 

Sam felt so good, tasted so good that he didn't want to stop even though he knew that he should. Every little noise Sam made, made it harder and harder to pull away from him, until there was no way he could. 

_“Gabe…”_ Sam whispered, coming out as something close to a whimper as his lips pulled away slightly, letting out a gasp as Gabriel’s fingers slowly drifted downward and tugged at the waistband of his trousers. 

The way Sam whispered his name made him shudder and he tugged impatiently at the waistband of his slacks, finally working the button open. Gabriel pulled the fly and slipped his hand inside, savoring the hardness of him against his palm. 

Sam’s chest was heaving at the simple stimulation, Gabriel’s hand palming slightly against his erection, leaving him breathless. He wanted more. He _needed_ more. No one else had ever really touched him there. He never touched himself there, at least not very often, and not without tremendous feelings of guilt for his fantasies and for the actions in general. Girls had slipped their hands beneath his waistband before, after a lot of alcohol and a lot of kissing, but he had never been able to get hard for them. This, however… This was entirely different. 

“Sam,” Gabriel said breathlessly, his movement slowed to a halt. “Tell me you want this. We don't have to do this. We can stop whenever you want. Just say the word.” 

He didn't want to pressure Sam in any way. He wanted him to want this, as much as Gabriel did. Even though they were supposed to be enemies, Gabriel wouldn't hurt him. It wasn't his way. 

Sam gulped down hard as Gabriel slowed to a stop and asked for consent. His words blended together, making it hard to hear him, but he understood the gist of it. Inhaling sharply, he leaned back against the wall and pulled Gabe’s hand closer, guiding it back toward the hardness between his legs. He wanted to make his arousal obvious, wanted Gabriel to know what he was doing to the Winchester. Sam chewed on his lower lip, eyes locking darkly with heaving chest, body trembling as he gripped tight to the smaller man’s hand and held it there.

He wasn’t quite sure what the attraction he felt was, not exactly. It was undoubtedly physical to some degree, it being hard not to ravish his body on the spot, but there was something so much deeper than that. A desire to know him, a desire to learn who he was and what he believed and how to love him. But there was this overwhelming desire in him, desire just to be with him. 

“I want you. I want you so goddamn much.” Sam murmured before pulling him in, hands cupping the sides of his face, claiming his mouth, swallowing the taste of smoke and whiskey and fevered desire. 

Gabriel kissed Sam back just as fiercely as he was being kissed. Sam’s affirmation had him going weak in the knees, and he steadied them both against the wall. He slipped his hand into Sam’s underwear, touching him skin to skin for the first time, velvet over steel against his palm. 

He gulped, finally pulling back from the kiss from lack of air. “Guess what they say about guys with big feet is true, huh?” he smirked at him cheekily, stroking him slow but firm. Sam was hung, there was no other word for it, and Gabriel’s insides roiled with anticipation at what was going to happen. 

Gabriel touching him like that had him panting, struggling to hold himself together but struggling against skilled fingers, stroking his shaft quickly, thumb running over the slit with each upstroke. It was positively mind-blowing, better than any time that he had touched himself, than any time that anyone else had touched him. Gabriel was skilled in ways that Sam could just hardly comprehend. 

Gabriel had been with guys, but only gone all the way with one or two of them. He knew the bedside table would have lubrication on it, but would it be enough? He played with himself often enough that it wouldn’t be too bad, but Sam was big. Would he even know what he was doing? What if he wanted to bottom? What if he freaked out? 

Gabriel’s worries were washed away when he looked back at Sam, his pupils blown wide with lust, lips swollen, hair askew from Gabriel’s questing fingers. He wanted this, wanted Sam more than he’d wanted anything, but it wasn’t just the sex. There was something about Sam that made Gabriel want to get to know the real him, to wine him and dine him, to make him happy. He couldn’t explain it. 

And looking at Sam again, he didn’t want to. 

Sam didn't know what they were going to do, where this night was headed. Whether Gabriel would want to penetrate him, or to be penetrated by him. He had never done this, not with a man, not with anyone. Out of shame, out of fear, out of general disinterest, he had refrained, never taking after his brother’s proclivities. He didn't know what would happen, but he supposed that he would go along with whatever Gabriel wanted, whether it be him being penetrated, or vice versa, or oral sex (something that Dean had said was quite enjoyable), or something as simple as just rubbing their cocks together. Sam didn't entirely care as long as it was with Gabriel. 

_“Fuck.”_ Sam murmured beneath his breath as he pulled Gabriel closer again. Their movements were sloppy and awkward and too caught up in the moment to care about appearances, though each time that Sam managed to pry his eyes open, Gabe always managed to look like an angel. He noticed that Gabe always managed these smirks whenever Sam let a noise slip from his lips, a smile perhaps the same as Lucifer’s just before he fell from Heaven. Devious. Angelic. 

Sam pushed away his thoughts as his lips crashed against Gabriel’s again, holding him so tight that it no longer felt as though they were two separate beings, but two parts of one whole. A low noise erupting from the pit of his chest rumbled from his lips, letting out something like an animalistic growl, possessive and desperate. 

“Bed.” Sam growled, lips still pressed against one another’s as he nudged him toward the bed in the center of the room.

“Gladly,” Gabriel agreed, pushing off and leading Sam to the bed. He began to undress him as he did so, yanking his shirt off his shoulders and down his muscular arms. 

Gabriel’s mouth went dry as he looked at Sam’s nude torso, so perfect it could have been cut from marble. He wanted to kiss and lick every part of him, to tease him until he came apart in his hands. 

He pushed Sam down on the bed, the sheets worn and stained despite them being clean. Gabriel went for Sam’s neck, sucking down the column of it until he hit his collar bone. There he left an impressive bruise, wanting to taste every molecule on his skin. 

He worshiped his chest, taking one nipple roughly between his teeth while he rolled the other between his calloused fingers. 

Sam’s reaction to what Gabriel was doing had Gabriel rock hard in his slacks, and he rutted shamelessly against Sam’s thigh as he lapped at his nipple with his tongue. 

Sam struggled to maintain composure, but his skilled tongue, skilled fingers leaving him weak, squirming as his fingers tightened in Gabe’s hair. He had never thought that it could feel like this, never would've thought that this alone could leave him writhing and begging and squirming beneath teeth and tongue. 

He was rutting against Gabriel’s thigh roughly, thrusting and squirming against him in attempt to appease the ache and need for friction, leaving Sam whining with his own desire. His toes curled within his shoes, entire body tensing. 

Sam let out a moan as Gabriel’s teeth nibbled at the hardened nub, reaching down between his legs slowly and rubbing at the bulge in his trousers, needing to relieve the need for friction. 

Fingers trembling, Sam tugged down his boxers, freeing his erection. It sprung free, pressed against his stomach, trapped between them, rubbing up against Gabriel’s chest as he continued sucking at his nipple. 

He couldn’t take this anymore, the teasing positively torturous. 

He reached down and grappled at Gabe’s suspenders, still dressed, though his clothes were quite disheveled at this point. He pulled Gabriel toward himself, lips locking once again as Sam rolled them both over, pinning the smaller man to the bed beneath him and tearing away his clothes, freeing him of everything above the waist. 

Gabriel couldn’t help the groan that tore from his throat as Sam rolled him over, pinning him with his much larger frame. He was naked from the waist up now, desperate for them both to be as naked as the day they were born. 

He threaded his fingers into Sam’s hair, pulling him down to kiss him roughly as he rolled his hips up against Sam’s. Sam’s cock was already out and Gabriel could feel the pre-come from it as it smeared against his stomach. 

“Fuck,” Gabriel breathed against his lips. “Fuck, Sam. Clothes, off, now.” he requested, breaking the contact to pop the button on his own pants, beginning to wiggle out of them. He needed to feel him yesterday, and he was beyond desperate to touch him. He felt like a teenager again, more concerned with the destination than the journey, but he didn’t care. He’d make it up to Sam later, but he wasn’t sure how much more teasing he could take. 

With a shaky breath, Sam tore his slacks off, if somewhat awkwardly in that position. Flinging his pants and shoes into the corner, he straddled Gabe’s thighs before tugging them the rest of the way off, leaving both of them bare. 

The weeks and months leading up to this rendezvous had had him coiled tight like a spring, and he was more than ready to be released. 

“What do you want, Sam?” he asked breathlessly rutting upwards. “Tell me what you want.” 

Sam stared down between them for a long moment; he had never seen another man’s erect penis before, and the very sight had him reeling. It was a bit smaller than Sam’s in length, but what was lost there was made up for in girth. Panting and unable to form words, he tentatively reached down between them and wrapped his fingers around Gabriel’s member, unable to resist the urge. He watched, mesmerized as the foreskin slid over the head of his cock with each slow upstroke. He could hear Gabriel’s quiet moans, but they felt drowned out by the thrumming of his own heartbeat in his chest. 

Gabriel could die a happy man. 

The picture Sam was making above him was almost enough by itself to send him over the edge. Sam dressed was a showstopper, but Sam naked was a sight delivered by God himself. He was beautiful, all taut muscles and golden skin, and he was working Gabriel’s cock like he was made for it. 

Sam didn't want to penetrate him, or to be penetrated. Not tonight. Not like this. He simply wanted to appreciate _this,_ feel every inch of him in a shared pleasure, feeling the same thing, almost like a mirror. 

Rather than voicing his desire, he simply positioned himself against Gabriel, lining their cocks up against each other. He reached down slowly between them, tentative and just a bit nervous still, though they weren't exactly _bad_ nerves. He rubbed them together, squeezing tightly as shocks of pleasure shot through him. 

“Like this?” Sam whispered, voice breathy and low as he moved slightly, unable to control his instinctive need to thrust against him. 

Sam had lined himself up and stroked them both in his massive hand, fulfilling some of the early fantasies Gabriel had had the first time he'd seen him. 

“Just like that, kid,” he groaned, thrusting him against him. “Jesus, Sammy, your hands.” 

He could write ballads to Sam’s hands, stories, epic poetry. He wanted them on him, bruising his hips, and inside him, stretching him, but this was perfect for now. 

He rocked up and down into the tunnel of Sam’s hands, against his massive cock. Gabriel couldn't only imagine how that would eventually feel inside him, and very thought had his mouth going dry. He was so very close. 

Sam let out a wrecked moan, struggling to stay upright, struggling to breathe. He had never experienced anything remotely close to this. Whenever he pleasured himself, he was oftentimes too wracked with guilt to truly appreciate the feeling. But this pushed the boundaries, sending him toppling off of the edge to a point where guilt no longer mattered, leaving him free to just feel. 

He could feel each twitch and pulse and sputter of their cocks. Could feel the pre-come smearing over his fingers. Felt each and every squirming movement of the body beneath him. 

He wanted it to last longer. _God,_ he wanted it to last longer. He wanted their little affair to last well into the night, well into eternity, never wanting it to end. He wanted to feel this heart-pounding, blood-pumping, sweat-pouring euphoria again and again, never truly to let go. But he could feel himself growing close, balls drawing tight against his body, and he knew that Gabe’s were doing the same. 

Toes curling and hands unfaltering, he leaned down and claimed Gabriel's mouth. It was a fevered, open-mouthed kiss, desperate and sloppy and wanting. 

Gabriel couldn't help the needy mewl that slipped from his throat as Sam stroked him to near completion. He'd never been one for handjobs, but this was one of the best things he'd ever experienced. 

He kissed Sam back, hard and wet, babbling as his balls drew up against his body. “Oh God, Sammy,” he groaned, writhing spasmodically. “Please, baby, please,” 

Gabriel had never begged a lover in his life, but he'd always been in control. This was something new for him and he saw, even in his pre-orgasm gaze, that it was something he could quickly become addicted to. 

He wanted Sam to come before him, but he went off anyway with a cry against him, coming in thick white ropes over Sam’s knuckles and cock. He clung to him, not wanting to let go, burying his head in the crook of Sam’s neck. 

Watching Gabriel in the throes of his orgasm, back arched and eyes clamped shut and mouth opened wide as he let out a long, loud moan, was what sent Sam over the edge. It was positively obscene, and positively wonderful.

The thick, hot fluid spattered over his fingers, over their stomachs. His mind began to spin, pleasure taking him over, trembling with wracked moans and barely withheld cries of pleasure. 

Even as their cocks softened in his hand, he didn't quite let go, not yet ready to let go, because letting go meant moving on, meant leaving this bed, meant leaving his Gabriel. 

Letting go would mean facing his family. Letting go would mean letting the guilt set in. Letting go would mean leaving Gabriel for God knows how long. Letting go would mean rejoining reality, something he wasn't quite ready to do. 

So instead, he collapsed heavily over the smaller man, hand still tucked between them as he clung tightly to him, inhaling him, breathing him, and desperately wishing to become one with him. 

He didn't want to let this man go. He didn't want to let go of whatever it was that they had. He wasn't sure that he could will himself to move. 

Gabriel didn't want to move, he didn't think he could he was so spent, but it wasn't merely because of his orgasm. 

He wanted to keep holding Sam, wanted to kiss him and make love him over and over until they couldn't move. He wanted to fall asleep in Sam’s arms and wake up with him the next morning. 

He pulled the sheet up over them, and pulled Sam into a tender kiss. “Sam,” he whispered against him. “Do you have to go back tonight? You could stay here… If you wanted to.” 

Gabriel didn't want to pressure Sam into anything. Maybe he had just wanted to get off, maybe he didn't want anything more than they're already done. He didn't want to think about not seeing Sam again, couldn't even fathom that possibility. 

He kissed him again, and then again, barely wanting to hear the answer to his own question. He just wanted this, just Sam in his bed, kissing him until he couldn't breathe anymore. 

The idea of falling asleep and rising the next morning with Gabriel in his arms was almost intoxicating. He knew that he was risking trouble with Dean and Bobby, with his family, simply for being out all night. But there were certain things that were worth risking everything for. And Gabriel was one of them. 

“Yes. Yeah. I’d… I’d love to stay.” Sam murmured, pressing small kisses up and down the side of Gabe’s neck before moving toward his lips. Each clash of their mouths sent butterflies fluttering through his chest. 

None of their exchanged kisses felt sexual then, but there was instead something hopelessly romantic about them, hopelessly in love and desperate for one another. 

Feeling secure enough to stop holding so tightly, and feeling so damp and hot with perspiration to keep clinging to him, he rolled over onto his back next to Gabe. Their shoulders touched still, and Sam slowly let his fingers slip down between them and lock with Gabe’s, fingers intertwined as they lay there. 

He was torn between watching the back of his eyelids and Gabriel’s face, finding that his orgasm had brought sleep just behind, as it always did. He didn't want sleep to come so soon, didn't want to waste 8 hours with sleep that he could've spent talking, learning everything about him, memorizing his voice and his touch and his quirks and his stories. 

But sleep…

Sam rolled over onto his side and nuzzled into Gabriel’s chest, pressing himself close, curling his arms around his lover’s torso. He felt Gabriel react distantly, but was more focused on his heartbeat, the rhythmic pounding in his chest. 

Gabriel’s orgasms always brought a period where his mind was buzzing and then sleep. He held Sam tightly against him as he slept, admiring him as if he were a painting. 

His face looked so much younger in sleep, the high cheekbones and sweeping lashes would have made any woman envious. His hair was tousled and tickled Gabriel's neck but he didn't have the heart to move him. Instead he just wiggled closer, until he could feel the beating of his heart. 

The fact that Sam trusted him was beyond him. He could have slit his throat right now, and come home a hero. Michael wouldn't ask any question, just scold him, but be secretly pleased that he'd get his war with the Winchesters. 

Sam trusted him, and that was more than he could say about most of his acquaintances. The haze of sleep was starting to set it, and Gabriel turned towards Sam to press a kiss into his hair before he too, drifted off into the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-2)
> 
> 1\. Blue Skies - Irving Berlin  
> 2\. Lightweight - Demi Lovato  
> 3\. Sun - Sleeping at Last  
> 4\. The Only Exception - Paramore  
> 5\. Tear in my Heart - Twenty One Pilots  
> 6\. First Day of my Life - Bright Eyes  
> 7\. Paperweight - Joshua Radin ft. Shuyler Fisk  
> 8\. I Wanna Be Loved By You - Annette Hanshaw

The steady thrumming of his lover's heart woke Sam up again the next morning, rays of sunlight piercing through the dirty windows and torn curtains. 

There was something between utter glee and utter terror in his chest. Guilt and shame rose up again, no matter how badly he wished to suppress them, knowing that what he was doing was wrong but being too swept up to care to stop. But underneath the shame was this pure, unadulterated joy that came with waking up next to the man who had taken him by the heart and hand, knowing that he hadn't fled. There was some reassurance in that, reassurance that suppressed the guilt for a moment. For a moment, as he woke and the feelings overwhelmed him, he was comforted by the reaffirming pound of Gabe’s heart. 

There would be consequences. Dean would be pissed beyond belief. Chastisement and disownment would be sure to follow if anyone ever found out. But…

Sam ran his fingers over the sleeping man’s skin, over toned muscles and hundreds of scars from fights and battles, over warm, calloused skin… And caught in his sleeping embrace, Sam never wanted to move. Fuck the world, fuck society, he was choosing Gabriel. 

Gabriel awoke to someone touching him. Normally his lovers left as soon as dawn broke, if they stayed at all, but this one was tracing the scars on his skin reverently, as if he was memorizing each old cut and laceration. 

He didn't open his eyes yet, bits and pieces came to light as he came to, the bar, the dance with Sam Winchester and then…

Sam Winchester was in his bed. 

Gabriel’s eyes flew open to Sam’s gorgeous hazel ones, taking him in whole. He was still there, still touching him, and Gabriel felt his heart expand with warmth. 

“Hey,” he laughed, pulling Sam close to him, reveling in the smell of his sleep-warm skin. He buried his face in the crook of Sam’s neck, nibbling provocatively at his collar bone. 

Inside his chest, Gabriel’s heart was pounding, with his sins exposed to the light of day. This had seemed like such a good idea in the cover of night, but it remained to be seen if it would remain true in the sun’s light. He knew they should pretend this never happened, but Gabriel didn't want to. He wanted to pretend the outside world didn't exist and he could stay warm in Sam’s embrace forever. 

“Good morning.” Sam chuckled quietly as Gabe tasted at his skin, small bites lining his flesh. He smiled and pulled closer, burying his face in the crook of his neck, rolling over on top of him. 

They were a tangled mess of limbs and dried bodily fluids, the two of them looking like a wreck, and yet so beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Like a masterpiece. Almost like a Renaissance painting in a museum. They were timeless and beautiful, tangled in their kingdom forged from sheets. 

As Sam shifted, he could feel Gabe’s erection against his thigh. He wasn't quite sure whether Sam was doing this to him, or if it was a simple case of morning wood, but Sam found that he liked the feeling against his flesh. 

“You're hard.” Sam murmured as he pressed a kiss against Gabriel's clavicle. 

He didn't know if the Trickster wanted a round two or not, but part of him hoped so, if only for an excuse to spend a few more minutes in bed with him. 

Gabriel chuckled, his hands moving to span Sam’s chest, trailing down behind him to cup his bottom. Sam had an amazing ass, and Gabriel had been amiss in not paying it due respect the night before.

“I am,” he whispered back, sucking a bruise into the column of his neck. He wanted to leave some indication that he'd been there, a monument to the fact that at least for a little while, Sam had been his. “We don't have to do anything, but if you want to…” 

He trailed off, again afraid of pressuring Sam into something. Last night he'd been more than willing, but he didn't want to assume things hadn't changed in the glaring morning light. Gabriel had thought it would change for him, but he found it only made him want Sam more, to be able to see him clearly as they chased their mutual pleasure. 

“We could take a shower. The room may be crappy, but the pressure is good, and the water is hot.” 

Shower. Yeah. Sam couldn't go home smelling like another man, couldn't give off any indication as to where he had spent the night and who with. He needed to get clean. 

Sam would've preferred to stay in their kingdom of sheets for the rest of the day, and again that night, perhaps for as long as they lived. Showering, even together, would mean that they would have to clean themselves of each other and rejoin society. Rejoin their families. It would mean being torn apart. 

But there was no avoiding it. There was no running away together, locked away from their lives and families and livelihoods. Business was booming with the recent prohibition on alcohol. Stupid move on the government’s part, but it was good for the family businesses. They couldn't leave that now. 

They couldn't run away together. Couldn't live their lives in peace. It would always be this. Sneaking around and sleeping in sleazy motels. If there even was some sort of future for them, this would be their lives. 

And somehow, it was worth it. 

Sam nodded slightly in agreement, nose still buried in the crook of his lover’s neck. 

Reluctantly, Sam dragged his aching bones from the bed, pulling himself away from the warmth of the body next to him before holding out a hand and helping him up out of bed. He wondered if they would ever make their way back to this bed. If this would be the first and last night they would spend there, or if it would be followed by many more to come. 

He supposed only time could tell as he pulled him toward the bathroom, not letting go of his hand as they walked. 

Gabriel followed Sam into the bathroom like a love sick puppy. He didn't want to let go, afraid that if he did, he'd never get him back, that he'd float back to his life in the west and never come back. 

He didn't hold Sam to anything more than today, nothing more than what went on this room. He couldn't. It wasn't fair to either of them. 

Sam leaned over the tub and turned the faucet on. As he adjusted the water settings, he felt Gabriel’s naked form press against him, and he could feel the barely-restrained eagerness in his bones, drawing a small smile to his lips as he hurried with the shower.

Gabriel pressed against Sam, as he drew their shower, wanting to feel him one last time. He wanted something to carry home with him after their affair, something to hold close on the cold hard nights that were sure to follow. He knew he would catch hell when Michael got home, knew his spies would report he never came home, but he didn't care. Not one iota. 

When the water was warm, Gabriel climbed in without preamble, pulling Sam in after him. He sighed as the hot water hit his skin, slicing off him in sheets. He scrubbed at his belly, making sure to wash every trace of their night together down the drain. He had to, couldn't let Michael’s spies have anything more than they already did. 

Once he was wet, he pulled Sam down to him, pressed fully flush against him, not caring that Sam could feel his hardness on his thighs. He kissed him with abandon, wanting to make every second of their draining time together count. 

Gabriel’s lips against his, the fingers threading through his hair, his lover's erection pressed against his thigh… It had him weak, lust and desire in his fingers as he pulled him closer. 

Without hesitation, Sam let his fingers trail over Gabe’s skin, down over his chest, over his belly, over the downy, wet hair that led down between his legs, allowing himself to palm at his erection. 

Sam didn't let his mouth part from Gabe’s, swallowing each small noise made as he pulled him closer. How desperately he wanted this man, how overwhelmingly consumed he was with the idea of him… It was almost like some desire to become one with him, in a way. 

They would have to determine where to go from here. Would this be a one night stand, a one time fling, or something more? Would they live their lives sneaking from brothers and petty family rivalries, or would they find a way to run off together and live their lives free of the mob? Would they live as lovers under the cloak of darkness and enemies in the light of day? Would Sam be able to bear it if they did?

It didn't matter. All that mattered was the steam of the shower and Gabe’s cock in his hand and their lips pressed against one another’s. 

Gabriel bucked forward into Sam’s hand, unable to stop himself from groaning into the other man’s mouth. His whole world had been reduced to this motel, this room, this very space. All he'd ever wanted was here. 

He was loathe to break their kiss, but he had other ideas, kissing down the plane of Sam’s chest. He worshiped each inch of skin with his lips and teeth and finally dropped to his knees on the shower floor. 

Without a moment’s hesitation, he took the head of Sam’s cock in his mouth, moaning around him at the heady taste. Sam was large, there was no denying it, but Gabriel made every attempt to take as much as he could. He hollowed his cheeks and relaxed his thrust, moving down inch by inch to envelop his length in the wet heat of his eager mouth. 

Sam tasted wonderful. Gabriel had never really liked giving, but the noises Sam was making made every second worthwhile. Gabriel’s own cock was hard and heavy between his legs, dripping pre-come into the shower floor to be washed away down the drain. 

Sam slammed his hand against the shower wall, clutching and searching for purchase as his chest heaved. Gabriel was good at this, tongue sweeping over the head, against the slit, beneath the foreskin… Sam struggled to hold himself upright. 

Gabe’s eyes found his in one of the rare moments he managed to keep his eyes open, something between deviousness and adoration in his golden brown eyes, the very sight of them forcing his head back with pleasure. 

Sam let his fingers thread through Gabriel’s hair, tugging slightly with each suck, with each sweeping movement of his tongue. And with each tug of his hair, Sam found that Gabe would let out a small moan around his cock, sending shockwaves down his spine. 

He could already feel his balls drawing up as he grew closer and closer to the edge, already so close.

Gabriel pulled back, not wanting Sam to go just yet. He wanted to have a little more fun first, to squeeze every precious ounce from their encounter, should it be their last. He licked a lazy stripe up the side of Sam’s cock, teasing a wet finger between his cheeks. 

He could tell Sam hadn't done this much, or at all if he was gauging his reactions right, and that surprised him. Sam was easily one of the best looking men Gabriel had ever seen. Surely there would be scores of at least women throwing themselves at his feet. Men too, if more covertly. Just because homosexuality was illegal didn't make less people gay. 

The fact that Sam was so new to this only made Gabriel want him more. Perhaps it would have made a lesser man run for the hills, but Gabriel wanted to teach him, to show him how good it could be. And guiltily, in his heart of hearts, he wanted to be the only one that ever touched him. 

Gabriel gently circled his rim, watching his beautifully debauched face for any signs of discomfort or reluctance. 

Gabriel’s finger teasing at the taut ring of muscle had him weak in the knees, nearly collapsing where he stood. Sam had never been curious enough to touch himself there, the sensation entirely new and foreign and exciting to him.

Somewhere, behind the cloud of his fogged mind, lost in the throes of its pleasure, he wondered what Gabe’s tongue would feel like there, pressed against his rim, spearing into the taut ring of muscle… Perhaps some other time.

He let himself grip harder at Gabriel’s hair as the man below him wrapped his lips back around his cock, sucking at the head as he continued to circle the rim. 

He wasn’t sure that he could handle the teasing any longer, wasn’t sure that he could keep his composure well enough for this sort of sweet torment. 

Acting upon pure instinct, abandoning whatever composure was keeping him still, Sam bore down, Gabriel’s finger slipping inside of him. The combined stimulation drew a cry from his throat, loud enough that he was sure any of the other tenants could hear him. 

Gabriel took Sam's reaction as a sign to keep going, and he hummed gently around his cock. He loved that Sam didn't try to hide his pleasure, that he let everything out. It had Gabriel's cock aching between his legs. 

He slowly bent his finger inside of him, searching for the spot he knew would have Sam howling. It took him a minute, but he finally located the hard little nodule and stroked it in time with the movement of his lips. 

Gabriel wanted this to be the best Sam had ever had, so he could see him again, even if it was only for sex. He wanted to meet him every night, to have something to look forward to. He wanted to wake up tangled in Sam’s limbs, his morning wood pressed against Gabriel’s belly, wanted slow lazy morning sex. But it was so much more than that. 

He wanted to make Sam laugh, to see his face light up in happiness, to take care of him when he was sick, to make a life with him. 

But he would take what he could get, even if it broke his heart. 

Gabriel pressed insistently against the place inside of him, a place that Sam had never known to exist. Not wanting to get kicked out, not wanting anyone to know what was happening, he shoved his fist into his mouth, muffling the cries tearing from his throat.

It was more intense than anything that he had ever felt, this intense pleasure rolling through his entire body. He could’ve come just from the stimulation there alone, but having Gabriel’s mouth around him too…

He wondered if there was any chance in hell that this could be their lives now. It would never be exactly how he wished it could be, without the sneaking and hiding. It would always be some shameful thing, would always be something that they would have to hide, but he wondered if there was any chance that their lives could mingle like this. Even if it only meant meeting in sleazy motels for sex. 

If he could spend his life just like this, under the warm spray of water with the man that he was so quickly falling for, he would be content. They would never get the kind of relationship that women and men had with each other, would never get the chance to get married and have a family and life together. But as long as he had Gabriel in his life, he would be content. 

Gabriel could feel Sam’s balls drawing up against him as he gently stroked his prostate. He knew he was close and he wanted to make him come apart. 

He pulled for for a second, feeling robbed of the noises Sam was making. “Wanna hear you, want to hear every beautiful noise you make. Come for me, baby.”

With that, Gabriel opened his throat and took him as deeply as he could, keeping the pressure firm inside of him. He wanted to taste every last drop of him, wanted to save the taste of him in his memory forever. 

It was like there was nothing for him beyond this shower, like he would abandon everything and run away of Sam asked him to. But he knew it could never be. No matter where they were, their relationship, whatever it was, would never be accepted. Even if the mob wasn't involved, they would never be allowed to live openly together. 

Gabriel could almost allow himself to dream in that moment, of a house where they could wake up together, with a dog, and a white picket fence. But no matter what they wanted, they could never have it. 

Head thrown back in pure ecstasy, Sam spilled his seed into Gabe’s mouth, unable to hold himself back any longer. He came hard, squeezing tightly around Gabriel’s finger as he came in hot, white ropes, the man beneath him swallowing it all. 

Gabriel could feel a smugness growing in his stomach as Sam came apart, spilling himself into Gabriel’s throat. He swallowed every drop proudly, loving that he had reduced the larger man to a quivering mess. Being able to do that with only his mouth and hands was even better. 

The sex was good, there was no denying that, but it wasn’t just this, the sex, this shower, this room, this motel that sent him over the edge. The idea that this may be the first of many times to come was what had his head spinning, the idea that maybe this could be their life. It was so far from perfect, and Sam wasn’t even sure that this would be any more than a one time thing, but the very idea of having mornings like this and nights like the night before… 

Gabriel continued to suck for a few moments after he finished, until Sam was squirming with oversensitivity. After a few seconds, Gabriel pulled away, leaving Sam a heaving mess against the shower wall. 

The water was starting to run cold, but he wasn’t ready to get out. Not when Gabriel was still hard. 

He helped the smaller man to his feet once he had regained enough composure to do so, trading places with him, sliding onto his knees in front of him in something like a gesture of reverence and worship. 

“I’ve never done this before.” Sam confessed, deciding to let him know, taking him into his mouth, giving a curious suck at the head of his cock, trying his best to mimic Gabriel’s movements

Gabriel had always been proud of the fact that he was good in bed. No lover of his, male or female, could ever say they’d come out of Gabriel Novak’s bed unsatisfied. But as Sam pulled him to his feet and knelt before him, he found he didn’t care, that none of those people had ever mattered to him in the way Sam now did. The fact that he’d fallen so quickly, in just a matter of hours, should have scared him, but for once it didn’t. 

He watched intently as Sam confessed his inexperience and wrapped those luscious lips around the head of his cock. It took all he had not to ram his cock down Sam’s throat as good as it already felt. 

“Y-you don’t h-have to,” he stammered, his hands clenching at his sides to avoid threading through Sam’s dripping hair, and pushing his head down. He didn’t want to scare him, or hurt him in any way. He remembered his first time giving a blow job, how the other man had shoved his head down and he’d choked so hard he threw up a belly full of alcohol on his lover’s shoes. “Jesus…” 

But Sam kept going, hesitantly at first, lapping at him with kitten licks as he found his bearing. Gabriel didn’t care about the neighbors, and voiced his appreciations in loud cries and moans that echoed off the tiled shower walls. It was torture, the slow pace of it, beautiful, heavenly torture to watch Sam suck him off, something he would remember for the rest of his life. 

“Fuck,” he cried, giving the shallowest thrust he could muster. “Feels so good, Sammy.” 

Sam took him in deeper, careful not to let himself choke, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to take him in as deep as he wanted, not yet. He ran his hands up his thighs, slipping his fingers between them and cupping around his balls. His thumb swept over the velvety skin, rolling them in his palm as he sucked harder. 

The sounds spilling unrestrained from Gabriel’s throat made Sam want to get hard again. He knew that he couldn’t, not so soon after already coming, but moans echoing off of the shower tiles had him wishing for it. 

He had an earthy, warm taste to him, a taste unlike anything that he had tasted before. Gabriel’s pre-come spilled over his tongue as he lapped at the head, running over the slit. Gabe’s fingers tugged at his hair as he hummed slightly around his length, drawing moans from Gabriel’s lips.

Giving and receiving pleasure had been something foreign to him, having never done this before, but good lord was it good. Even when he wasn’t receiving pleasure, when Gabriel wasn’t touching him, it was magnificent, giving pleasure being just as satisfying as receiving it. 

Gabriel was reduced to barely coherent babbling and dirty talk by Sam’s mouth. He couldn't do anything else other than thrust and grab at Sam’s hair and it was a struggle to keep himself upright against the wall of the shower. 

_“Fuckfuckfuck,”_ he babbled, his head thrown back in his pleasure. “Your mouth, baby. Thought your hands were amazing last night, but your mouth…” he trailed off to take a ragged breath. “Want those lips around my cock always.” 

Sam playing with his balls only made it that much harder to keep himself together. Sam cupped hold rolling his stones around in his hand. He could have come right there, but he restrained himself.

He knew that once this was over, they'd have to go their separate ways, and he didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to think about Sam going somewhere where Gabriel couldn't reach him, somewhere he couldn't follow. 

As he began to get used to the feeling, Sam set a steady pace, taking him in as far as he could before slowly pulling away, teasing at the head a moment, and repeating. 

Hearing the words tumble from Gabriel’s lips had his head spinning, encouraging him on. He picked up pace with each murmured word, sounding like a prayer, though Sam wasn't quite sure to what god. They would no doubt be cast into the fiery depths of hell no matter their religion. Perhaps he prayed to man made gods. Perhaps he prayed to Sam himself. 

He didn't care if his words were like sacred prayers. He just didn't want Gabriel to stop talking. 

He could live off of his voice alone, the very sound of him like sustenance to his starving, aching soul.

When it became clear to him that Sam liked him talking, Gabriel didn’t hold back any longer. Words and phrases erupted from his lips like water from a spring, fueling them both forward. 

“Want every part of you, Sammy,” he told him, looking down at him under his fan of dark lashes. “Want your hands and your mouth, and your cock, Jesus...” he wet his lips with his tongue, his curls damp and sticking to the wall. “Want you to fuck me. Don’t care where, in an alley, in the bathroom at the club, anywhere. Just want to feel you inside me. Want to feel that gorgeous cock of yours splitting me open. Want to feel it when I have to sit for meetings.”

He was barely holding onto what remained of his composure, but one well placed slurp, right under the sensitive ridge of his cockhead, had him shouting as he came down Sam’s throat. He hadn’t come that hard in ages, and his knees almost buckled as Sam pulled back, licking his lips. 

Gabriel wasted no time in pulled Sam to him, chasing the addicting taste of himself on Sam’s tongue. He didn’t care that the water was cold, he kissed him as deeply as he could, fingers clasped in his wet hair. Finally, breathing hard, he pulled away and turned the water off. Holding onto the towel bar, he grabbed a towel for Sam and then one for himself, and stepped out. 

He wrapped the towel around his waist and headed back into the bedroom. He turned as Sam followed up, taking the dripping wet man in whole. 

“When can I see you again?” 

Sam smiled at the very thought of seeing him again, pleased to find that Gabriel wanted more than a one-night fling too. 

He took a step forward and took Gabe by the hand, lacing their fingers together, slowly running his thumb over each knuckle as he looked down at the smaller man, a small smile perking at the edges of his lips. He could get used to this, their fingers intertwined, standing with breaths intertwined. 

He never wanted to leave this room, never wanted to let go of his lover, never wanted to leave. But if there was no choice, he didn't want to spend too much time away from him. The idea of spending a very minute away ached, but if they had to part, he didn't want to part ways for very long. 

“Dean’s going out of town Wednesday on business. Chicago. He’ll be gone until Sunday evening. Come stay with me.” Sam proposed. 

Gabriel blinked at him owlishly. He wanted to just say yes, to throw caution to the wind, and stay with Sam for a couple of days, but any one of the other families stepping on rival territory made their lives forfeit. 

“What about the rest of your clan?” Was all Gabriel asked. “They'll kill me if they see me,”

He squeezed Sam’s hands and stepped forward into his embrace. Michael was out of town for the rest of the week, Lucifer with him. No one would notice if Gabriel was missing for a couple days. Castiel would cover for him if need be.

Gabriel wanted nothing more than to stay with him, to wake up with him to be able to make love to him whenever they wanted, to spend all day talking in bed. He wanted to make him breakfast in bed, and just hold him. 

“If you won't get in trouble, I'd love to,” 

“Bobby has a place with Ellen and Jo. Jo only comes over when Dean is there. Charlie and Kevin are on a boat somewhere in the pacific. We’re safe. And we can stay somewhere nicer than a sleazy motel.” Sam explained, pulling him closer, running his fingers up and down his forearms. 

He knew that there were other families much closer to each other than what the Winchesters were. Most of them weren’t blood relatives, only adopted into the family business as time went on and they proved their usefulness and loyalty. He had always figured that the Novaks, all of them sharing a house, all of them blood, were close, but judging by the way that Gabriel acted, and judging by the fact that Sam had woken up this morning, he figured that he must've been mistaken. 

He wondered if they could ever escape the mob and live a normal life, build a family of their own. He doubted it, knowing that they could never be accepted, knowing that what they were doing could get them arrested, but it was a nice thought. A house in the country with a dog in the yard, growing old together… 

People like them didn't get to grow old. They had to enjoy the here and now while they still had it. 

“We could but where's the fun in that?” Gabriel smirked up at Sam, leaning into him for a tender kiss. He felt warm all over. He was going to see Sam again. Sam wanted to see him again. 

He only pulled away when he started to get cold, picking up his discarded clothing from the floor. Everything he'd been wearing the night before was wrinkled, but what did it matter? He was only going to wear it home. 

He watched as Sam did the same, sliding those impossibly long legs into his trousers, and covering the broad chest Gabriel loved with a shirt. 

Gabriel wanted to ask what about the next time, and the time after, but he stopped himself. There was no use in worrying about the future just yet. The only future he needed was Wednesday, when he would see Sam again. Beyond that, he had no control over it. 

Finally, Gabriel slid into his scuffed shoes, and picked up his hat from the mottled brown armchair. “I'll leave first. Wait 15 minutes and then go. Where should we meet Wednesday?” 

Sam took a step toward him. He was stunning out of his clothes, an absolute masterpiece, but he was just as gorgeous in them. With a small smile, he took a step toward him and reached up, straightening his hat before reaching for his hand again. 

“I know a place where we could get dinner. A little Italian place on the east side. We could get something to eat. No one will know who we are. We’ll just look like two friends having dinner.” Sam suggested. 

He wanted to court Gabe properly. He knew that they could never be quite normal. They'd never be able to go dancing without attracting stares, never be able to hold hands from across the table, never be able to show any public display of affection, but they could still go out together, so long as no one knew their names. He could do whatever he could to make it feel as normal as possible. Like they weren't committing these terrible crimes. 

“Meet me outside of Purgatory and we can walk there together. It's not far. We can meet at, say, 5:00?” Sam suggested, eyes focused on Gabe’s fingers as he played with them between his own, running a thumb over his knuckles, tracing the scars and callouses there. 

“I think I can do that,” Gabriel responded quietly, looking at Sam’s hand in his own. Wednesday already seemed so far away, like a lifetime would pass between this moment and the moment where they could be together again. 

“Are you gunna get in trouble at home? For being out?” He asked, trying to change the subject. He didn't want to leave, just wanted to talk and talk until Wednesday reared its head. He knew they couldn't, but it didn't stop him from hoping. 

Michael was away, and Cas wouldn't ask many questions, so Gabriel was home free for now, at least until Michael returned from New York. He hated to think of how much worse it would get then. Michael watched him like a hawk, and they'd have to take all kinds of special precautions if they wanted to keep seeing each other. 

Maybe Sam would be over him by then, he reasoned. Their affair already had the air if being fleeting, burning hot and burning to ash before it even truly began. He hoped it wasn't so, but he wasn't going to waste their time together worrying over it. 

“Nah. Dean’s been telling me that I need to find a girl for awhile now. I'll just tell him I met a girl and spent the night. I'll figure something out. It’ll be okay.” He reassured. 

Biting down on his lower lip, his eyes scanned over Gabriel’s face. His bright eyes, the small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, the small crinkling around his eyes. He was beautiful, so beautiful. 

“I'll miss you.” Sam confessed quietly, palm cupping his cheek as he ran his thumb over his stubble. It felt easy to open up to him, to tell him exactly what was on his mind. 

Inhaling slowly, he leaned in and pressed his lips against the smaller man’s, slow and sweet, each movement savored. Their other kisses had been drugged with lust and desire, sloppy and needy with their mutual desire for sex. This was different, though. It wasn't burning hot like before, but rather warm, like the warmth radiating from a bonfire in the early days of autumn. It was warm and slow, and Sam never wanted it to end. He never wanted to leave this room. 

Gabriel allowed himself to melt into the kiss, to enjoy it for what it was, and not what was coming after it. He pressed against Sam’s hand on his cheek, his own hands finding their way around Sam’s waist. 

He didn't want to let go, but he had to. The sooner they parted, the sooner Wednesday would come and they could be together again. 

Finally he pulled away and tipped his hat at Sam with one final grin. “I'll miss you too, kiddo,” he said quietly. “See ya Wednesday,” 

It took all the strength he could muster not to turn around and drag Sam back into bed with him, but he walked out, and step by step, walked to the front desk. He paid their bill with barely a word to the keep, who knew to keep his mouth shut. 

He strolled back to Purgatory with a satisfied grin on his face, just like he would with any other lover. His car was still in the lot, much to his surprise, until he realized he'd taken the keys with him. Gabriel climbed in, started her up and began his drive home.

He felt a little bad for leaving Cas, but he was a man, he could find his own way home. He pulled up into the driveway and turned the car off. Gabriel day behind the wheel for a moment to steady himself after the night he'd had, and then slid out, and sauntered through the front door. 

Castiel was waiting for him. 

\----

Sam watched as Gabriel left him standing in the motel room on his own, leaving him to sit back onto the creaking bed, sheets dirty and wrinkled from the night before. 

The minutes ticked by slowly, and already he was replaying the past 24 hours in his mind. Rough kisses and shared pleasure beyond anything that Sam had ever known. He hadn’t even been gone fifteen minutes and Sam already missed him.

Finally, after about fifteen minutes, just as Gabriel had instructed, he stood up and headed toward the door. He had hailed a taxicab the night before to get to Purgatory, but they weren’t running so much this early in the morning, so he supposed that he’d be walking. Dean was always stingy with the keys to their 1922 Chevrolet, so Sam typically found himself hailing taxicabs whenever he wanted to go somewhere without his brother’s watchful eye. 

The clerk at the front desk didn’t even acknowledge him as he walked out, to which Sam was grateful as he sunk back into the streets. They weren’t busy this time of morning. Everyone was already at work, so the morning rush had died down, but it wasn’t time for the midday lunch hour rush, so the streets were relatively abandoned. Part of him was grateful for that fact, but also vulnerable, unable to sink into the crowd like he usually did.

It took nearly an hour to walk home, but he didn’t mind. It gave him time to concoct stories, lies to any of Dean’s questions. He loved his brother, but he knew that he had a snowball’s chance in hell of making it without a hundred pestering questions as soon as he walked through the door. 

He opened the door slowly, hoping to come in as quietly as possible, but it didn’t matter how quietly he came in. Dean was sitting in the foyer, newspaper and coffee in hand, like he had been waiting there for god knew how long.

“Morning, Sammy.” Dean greeted before Sam even had time to react to his presence. 

Sam jumped out of his skin, heart skipping a beat as he took a step back, startled. 

_“Jesus.”_ Sam muttered.

“Where you been?” Dean immediately shot, folding his paper and leaning back, staring at him with a small smirk on his face, like he already had some answer concocted within his own imagination, though Sam doubted that it was anywhere near the truth.

“Out.” Sam answered shortly, taking a seat in the rocking chair across from his brother. There was more tension in the air than usual. 

“All night?” Dean inquired, his eyebrow cocked. 

Sam inhaled slowly and leaned back, giving a short nod as he crossed his legs, hoping that Dean wouldn’t be able to see through his lies, or thickly veiled truths, at least. He swallowed hard. “I met someone.” 

“Yeah? What’s her name?” Dean queried, scooting closer, leaning forward. Sam could see curiosity sparking in his eyes. 

Without a moment’s hesitation, he answered with a lie that he’d come up with on the way home. “Gabi.” 

“Gabi.” Dean repeated, letting the name sit in his mouth for a moment before speaking again. “She got a last name?” 

Sam just shrugged, deciding to play it off like he didn’t know, like they’d been too busy, too drunk off of alcohol and lust to catch a last name. In actuality, he knew that letting onto his lover’s last name would get him killed. 

“You stayed the night at this Gabi’s place? Where’s she live?” 

Sam shrugged. “Dunno. We stayed in a motel.” 

Dean leaned forward, and for half a second, Sam was worried that he wouldn’t buy into the lie. But a wide smile broke out over Dean’s face as he rose to his feet, walking across the room and patting him firmly on the back. Congratulations. This was Dean’s praise. He had to withhold an audible sigh of relief at the realization that he had successfully deceived his brother. 

“Good on you, Sammy. Got yourself a girl. Finally lost your damned virginity. We’ll crack open a bottle of champagne later to celebrate. Sammy’s finally growing up.” Dean teased, before turning away. “Go get some sleep, I’m sure you didn’t get much last night. Then we’ll go out tonight.”

Sam swallowed hard and slumped in his seat, letting out the breath that he’d been holding since he’d walked through the door. 

\----

Castiel’s blue eyes bored into him as Gabriel hung up his coat and hat and went to pour himself a cup of coffee. He always had coffee after a long night out, today was no different. He sat down next to Cas at the table, staring into his cup. 

Castiel cocked his head. “Are you going to tell me where you went last night?” 

Gabriel took a sip of his coffee, rolling the dark rich flavor of it on his tongue. Unlike Sam, Gabriel was well-versed in lying, and he’d done this dance with any one of his brothers a couple dozen times before. “Nope.” 

Cas considered this before pressing further. “Gabriel, you need to be careful-”

“I’m going to stop you right there, Cassie. You don’t get to worry about me. I can take care of myself. I’ve been courting dames for a long time, in clubs more forbidden than Purgatory. It’s fine,” Gabriel took another long sip, the cogs of his mind turning. 

“You didn’t leave with a woman,” Castiel’s gaze didn’t waver and Gabriel’s heart skipped a beat in his chest. “You left with Sam Winchester. Obviously I do need to worry.” 

Gabriel’s mouth hung open for a second or two, and he swallowed his surprise. He thought they’d been careful, apparently it wasn’t enough. “Cas, I-” 

“I don’t care,” Castiel waved him off. “Even though Michael and Lucifer may not see it, I’ve always known you liked men. Anyone actually paying attention could figure it out. You could be caught, charged with sodomy, murdered,” he pointed out. “I don’t care he’s a man, but a Winchester? You had intercourse with one of our biggest enemies.” 

Gabriel couldn’t help the flush that crept over his features as Cas’ words forced him to remember last night, Sam’s hands and mouth on him. “Well, actually-” 

But Castiel wasn’t done with him yet. “He’s playing you, Gabriel. I’m surprised you came home at all. He could have killed you!” 

“He didn't.” Gabriel pointed out. He couldn’t argue anything else. Cas was right, about everything. 

Cas hammered his point home. “Michael could find out.” 

Gabriel gulped. He feared Michael finding out more than anything else, because Michael wouldn’t kill him outright, he wouldn’t make it easy. Michael would torture him first, torture Sam and make dying the only alternative. 

“Please Cas,” Gabriel looked at him over the rim of his cup. “Please don’t tell Michael.” 

Castiel sighed, putting a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “I won’t tell Michael, but you’ve got to do something for me.” 

“Anything,” Gabriel was a tad surprised that Cass wanted to blackmail him, it wasn’t normally his brother’s way. 

“Promise me you’ll be careful,” 

Gabriel smiled and clamped a hand over Cas’. “I will”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-3)
> 
> 1\. Deed I Do - Ben Pollack & His Orchestra  
> 2\. Chasing Pavements - Adele  
> 3\. Arms - Christina Perri  
> 4\. Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding  
> 5\. Coming Down - Halsey  
> 6\. Bright - Echosmith  
> 7\. Ho Hey - The Lumineers  
> 8\. Sing - Ed Sheeran  
> 9\. All Shook Up - Elvis Presley

Dean had taken forever to get out the door. So long that Sam had worried that he would be late for his date with Gabriel. 

_Date._ That was a new word. He'd gone on dates with girls, but they never quite felt like dates, never settled in his mouth when he said it. But he had said it in reference to Gabriel before, and each time it had felt right, like he was finally using it in proper context. The idea was still just a bit foreign, but still so incredibly _right._

Dean had finally gotten out the door ten minutes before Sam needed to leave. He had left with a hug and a joking _‘behave yourself’_ before finally getting into the cab that would take him to the train station. As soon as he had shut the door, Sam had darted up to his bedroom, changed into a suit, the nicest one he had, before darting out of the door and hailing a cab. 

The drive had only been a few minutes, but it was a tortuous few minutes, his anticipation overwhelming him. He had spent the past four days in bed, mostly, staring at the ceiling and reliving their time together. The feeling of Gabe’s lips around him, the taste of him still on his lips, the feeling of scruff beneath his fingertips… Sam could barely stand himself, hated being away from him.

The next four days passed quickly for Gabriel, but the nights were a different story. The daylight hours were filled with the tasks Michael had left him, and they needed to be done as efficiently as possible. Michael was a hard taskmaster, and now that Gabriel had something and someone to protect, he had to make sure Michael wouldn’t be sniffing in his direction for anything more than he had to. 

His nights were filled with endless tossing and turning; he couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t get comfortable, and when he finally did sleep, all he dreamt of was Sam. Sam touching him, Sam inside him, Sam’s dimples when he smiled. It was slow, sweet torture to be able to imagine Sam but not able to touch the real thing. He couldn’t even call him. 

Gabriel spent half the day getting ready. He got a new haircut and a shave, bought a new suit and hat, and showered twice before he headed off to Purgatory. He opted for a taxi, knowing that his car as easily recognizable. He got there early on purpose, wanting to have a drink to steady his nerves before Sam showed up. It was stupid that he was nervous for tonight, seeing as he’d already seen Sam naked, but he was. This wasn’t just a one-night fling anymore, but a relationship, they were going on an actual date. 

After he finished his drink, he went outside to wait, lighting up a cigar. He’d only been waiting 10 minutes when Sam pulled up and Gabriel greeted him with a smile. 

Sam’s cab pulled up to Purgatory. The club was dark, not yet bouncing with life as it usually did late into the evening. Outside stood Gabriel, leaned against the wall, cigar hanging from his lips. He was handsome as hell, in and out of clothes, but in the dimming sunlight as it began to sink beneath the skyline… 

He left the cabbie a generous tip and hopped out of the car, hurrying toward the club. 

“You ready to go kid?” Gabriel inquired. 

Sam nodded with a small grin. His first instinct was to reach out and take his hand, hold it as they walked, but he couldn't risk being spotted. Rather, he shoved his hands into his pockets and led the way, the two of them walking side by side. 

Gabriel’s heart dropped a little when Sam didn't reach for him, but he knew they couldn't risk it. He didn't know when he'd become so desperate for touch that he was willing to blow his cover, but he didn't like it.

He kept his head down and walked with at least a foot of space between them, not allowing any speculation as they headed toward Rossi’s, the quaint little restaurant that he had familiarized himself with over the years. It was his go-to place when he wanted Dean out of his hair for awhile, when he wanted to forget about the family business and just be _normal_ for once. No booze, no risky business deals, no constant wariness of cops. It was where he went when he just wanted to be Sam Winchester rather than The Boy King.

Sam wondered if this sense of normalcy that he got whenever he stepped inside of those doors would rub off on Gabe. If the night could feel normal, rather than risky or scandalous. 

There'd be time to feel scandalous later. They'd be spending the next few days together, days of sex and perhaps something more like romance, where they could touch and hold without the promiscuity. He wasn't sure. But scandal and sex would come later that evening, that was certain. He wondered if there was any chance that they could avoid the feeling for til then. 

“So how have you been since we last met?” Sam inquired, inching closer to him, close enough that their shoulders occasionally bumped as they walked. 

“I've been okay,” he responded, trying not to look too happy as they slipped through the doors. “Busy, you know. With my brother out of town, I'm in charge. But other than that, okay. You?” 

There was no one Gabriel recognized from the business here, no one he knew, no one that knew him, and it felt like a breath of fresh air. Here they could just be people, rather than members of two murderous money grubbing families. Sam inched closer to him, until their shoulders bumped and Gabriel looked up at him. 

He didn't know who was listening, didn't want to risk it by telling Sam that he'd thought of nothing but him for four days, that he'd made love to him over and over in his dreams. He didn't say how excited he was to get away from his family and spend 4 days in Sam’s presence, in his arms, or that he felt like he was going to combust if Sam didn't touch him. 

He'd never felt like this before and he didn't know how to convey it without sounding like a needy pup.

“I’ve been alright. Dean and I went out on Saturday night. He insisted on celebrating my loss of virginity.” Sam chuckled quietly. “Other than that, not a lot’s happened.” 

“Y-your virginity?” Gabriel stuttered, so quiet that he wasn't even sure that Sam had heard him. He'd known Sam was inexperienced in that regard, but a virgin? He'd deflowered their biggest rival? His head was spinning with that information. What had he told Dean exactly? He figured he would lie about where he'd been, but how deep had the lie gone? 

He needed to stop freaking out. It would all be fine. They were just two men casually having dinner. They could be friends, or business associates, no one would know. 

Sam turned to the waitress, a pretty girl in a lacy black dress that ended just above the knee. It was uniform here, tuxedos and lacy gowns, something feeling high class about it. “Table for two, please.” Sam requested. 

She gave him a small smile and led the way toward the back of the restaurant. It wasn’t crowded, most people being at home with their families or in church on Wednesday nights, so aside from what appeared to be an older gentleman with his wife a few booths over, they seemed to have the restaurant mostly to themselves. 

Perhaps he could reach over the table and touch him just once, take his hand when nobody was looking. 

“Your server will be right with you two.” The waitress said before slipping away as they took their seats at a small table situated toward the back, mostly out of view from anyone else, hidden away in their own little corner. 

Sam exhaled slowly, eyes finding Gabe’s as a small smile teased at his lips. There were butterflies in his stomach, jittery in ways that he had never been before. He hadn’t felt this way before, hadn’t felt this nervous when they had slept together, but now that Sam was actually _courting_ him, now that there was a chance that they could be something more than a casual affair… It had him jittery in the best of ways. 

“I’ve missed you.” Sam confessed quietly, keeping true to the murmured promise that he’d made in that motel room. 

Picking up the menu, he propped it up between them, then took Gabe’s menu and did the same before reaching behind them, a clever mask to hide their clasped fingers, anything to be able to touch him again. 

“I missed you too,” Gabriel confessed, reaching across the table quickly to squeeze Sam’s hand before pulling back. It was too risky, but he had to touch him at least once, just to reassure himself that this wasn't a dream. 

Their server came over and Gabriel smiled at her. “I think I'll have the pasta primavera, and a glass of red wine.” He told her, looking over at Sam for his order. 

When Sam ordered, and the server took their menus, Gabriel slipped his hands under the table so he wouldn't be tempted to touch him again. 

“So what are the plans for the rest of the week?” 

“We could go to the theater. They’ve got a few good plays showing, I think. It’s on the West Side, but it’ll be dark, and no one in my family can be bothered with art or musicals or anything of the sort, so it might be safe there. There’s also the cinema here in East, but I don’t know what they’re showing. I know that they were showing _‘Nosferatu’_ again last week. But… I was hoping that we could mostly stay in.” Sam suggested with a small smirk. 

In all honesty, Sam could hardly wait to finish dinner, get out of the restaurant, out of the public eye. He wanted little more than to tear his clothes from him again, pull him close and take him as his own once again. 

Gabriel almost choked on the water he was trying to drink when Sam answered his question. It made him feel a little better that he wasn’t the only one thinking like that. Hell, if Gabriel had his way, he would drag Sam into the bathroom and have him right there. He was surprised to find himself equally content with the idea of just having dinner with the man. 

“That was my idea as well,” Gabriel smirked at him. “Let’s hope they're fast with our food.” 

It was more than sex, so much more than just sex. Sam wanted so desperately simply to touch him, the urge being almost overwhelming after four days of being without. He wanted to grab him by the hand, pull him into his chest and hold him tightly, to just _touch._

The outside world, life inside of the public eye, anywhere outside of their bed, it almost hurt. Knowing that they couldn’t touch, knowing that they couldn’t show any hint of affection… It was _painful._ He wanted nothing more than to steal him away into privacy, hidden underneath the sheets, where they didn’t have to pretend, didn’t have to hide. 

Gabriel hated having to hide what he was feeling from the world. If Sam had been a woman, he could have kissed and caressed him all he wanted in public, with only knowing smirks and eye-rolling to greet them. But Sam was a man, and any such behavior could result in their arrest, or worse. He wanted to show the world what he felt for Sam Winchester, but he’d have to wait until they were behind the closed walls of Sam’s bedroom. 

Growing daring as they chattered, Gabriel slipped his foot out of his shoe and stretched his leg out under the table. He slid his toes gently up the side of Sam’s leg, and then to the inside of his thigh, smiling innocently as he did it. No, he couldn’t touch Sam with his hands, but thanking to the floor length cloth that covered their table, he could touch him with his feet as much as he pleased. 

Gabriel rubbed the inside of Sam’s thigh with his foot, creeping closer and closer to his crotch until their server brought their food and drinks to the table. 

Gabriel’s foot creeping up his leg had Sam sweating, hands shaking as he sipped at his drink. His very touch had him trembling, his foot pressed against his inner thigh had him growing hard in his trousers. He felt himself blushing, skin growing hot, embarrassed for doing this in public. 

Gabriel couldn't help but smirk at Sam’s reaction to his touch, the blushing and trembling fueling the lie simmer of arousal deep in his belly. 

He stopped when their food came out, but left his foot in Sam’s lap, just leaning against his leg. He couldn't hold his hand so this would have to do for now. He had no doubt that Sam would make him pay for this when they got back his to place. 

Gabe finally stopped when the server brought back their food, just resting a foot on his lap, a feeling between relief and sorrow filling him as he did so. He didn’t want him to stop touching, didn’t want to lose the feeling, the physical reassurance that this was all so _real,_ but that touch had him aching for more, desperate to reach over that table and push him onto it, not caring who saw. 

Perhaps that was why he was digging into his food so quickly, trying to get through dinner as quickly as possible so that they could get straight to dessert. 

Gabriel blew on his pasta before digging in. Sam had not been lying about this place being delicious. 

Slowly drawing in a breath and taking a moment, he decided that there was more than sex and physicality. Perhaps he had been so sex deprived for so long that he was wanting to make up for it now, but there was more to Gabriel than that. 

“So… Tell me more about yourself. Tell me your story.” 

“My story?” Gabriel smiled at him, twirling spaghetti around his fork. “I'm afraid it's a boring one, but I'll tell you anyway, even though you know most of it. I'm the third of four brothers born to Naomi and Chuck Shurley. My father gave us all his mother’s maiden name, thought it sounded better anyway. We grew up mostly away from the city, until we were older at least. Michael was 16 when Dad brought him into the business, and Luc was 17 when Michael brought him in. I was 14.” He stopped to take a bite, not wanting his food to get cold. “My father disappeared a couple years ago, Mom’s dead. Michael runs the family, that's pretty much it.” He shrugged. 

It was a simple story, not too unlike his own, but Sam hung onto every word, paying attention to each and every word. 

“What about you?” He promoted. “What don't I know about Sam Winchester?” 

“Not too different. It’s just me and Dean. Born to Mary and John Winchester. Dean’s four years older than me. Mom died when I was young. Dad brought Dean into the business really young, but mostly kept me out of it until I was about 15. I went around with them, but I didn’t really know what they were doing. Dad died a few years ago. It’s mostly just me and Dean now. We’ve kind of… Adopted might not be the right word, but we have friends like family. Bobby. Ellen and Jo. Charlie. They’re part of the business. They’re like family.” Sam explained. 

Sam dug into his food before leaning back in his seat, slowly reaching down and wrapping a hand around Gabe’s foot, still sitting on his lap, a crooked smile over his face. He squeezed tightly for a moment and leaned forward, staring like a lovesick puppy. He was gorgeous in ways that Sam could hardly even describe, and Sam could hardly get enough of the sight of him. 

“Do you like doing what we do?” Sam inquired. “You ever want to get out?” 

Gabriel knew the standard family answer by heart, the same tired, _“I love what I do”_ line, but he couldn't force himself to lie, not to Sam. 

“I hate it, to be honest,” he chuckled, rubbing the side of Sam’s thigh again. “I always want to get out, to run away. But if I ever tried, Michael would take it out on Cas and I don't think I could take it.” 

There was no point in lying to him. Sam already had him, heart and soul, and lying now would save nothing. If Sam was playing him, he was just as dead as if he hadn't told him. 

“What about you?” Gabriel asked. “Ever want to leave you brother and friends behind? Run away to a different kind of life? Picket fence with a dog in the yard and all that jazz?” 

Sam sipped at his wine and inhaled slowly, savoring the feeling of Gabe’s foot rubbing circles into his inner thighs, shivers running down his spine at his touch. 

“Don't know if I could ever have that kind of life. Wife and kids, family, normal life… I don't know. I want out. I do. I just don't know what’s waiting for me if I do. I'm… I’m gay. I don't have a normal life waiting for me outside of the family business.” Sam confessed quietly. 

He had always wanted a life outside of the family business, always having felt off within his own family, having always felt just a bit alienated from everyone else, even Dean. Like he didn't quite belong. 

But perhaps he didn't belong anywhere. He would always be seen as a sinner, damned to hell for such simple and beautiful transgressions. He felt isolated in the family that he had been born into, and he would never be able to build a family of his own. He had mostly resigned himself to the fact that he was destined to spend his life alone. 

Then Gabriel came around. Maybe Sam wasn't destined for loneliness. 

“You ever wonder if people like us will ever get to live normal lives?”

“You mean men who like men?” Gabriel confirmed. “Eventually, who knows. Anything could happen.” He shrugged, finishing his pasta and taking his glass of wine. He was anxious to be done with dinner. 

“But no family? You could still have a family, even if it’s with a guy instead of a dame.” He said. What he really wanted to say was “we” but even as addled as he was by his burgeoning feelings for Sam, he knew it was too early for that sort of declaration. “Marriage don’t mean nothing.” 

He took a deep sip, and swallowed hard. “I’d like to think I have skills that I could use outside of this. I know how to run clubs. I was thinking maybe I’d open my own club, a real one, not a speak-easy. Maybe one where people like you and I could go and not be afraid.” 

He looked down. He must sound like a child, a foolish dreamer who didn’t know much about life. He supposed he didn’t. All he knew was this city and the family business, he’d never had any other experience other than this. Maybe he couldn’t make it in the real world but he’d like the chance to try. But it would never happen with Michael and Lucifer alive, he would always be beholden to them, no matter how old he was or what he accomplished. 

“There’s always a reason to have hope.” He shrugged again, finishing his wine. 

He grabbed the server as he walked by. “Check please?”

Sam had never been the most hopeful of people, had always been a bit of a pessimist. Probably had to do with the fact that he grew up without a mother, and his ever-absent father. But Gabriel’s words were so hopeful, so full of life that they almost made Sam believe that there could be a better life beyond the family business. That they could have a happily ever after. 

Their server came back with the check a few moments later, and the butterflies in his stomach began fluttering wildly. He'd been waiting for that sweet release for four days, waiting to touch him again, to make love to him again. He'd tried touching himself in those four days, tried to masturbate in hopes of seeking out some form of release, but it couldn't come close to that night, to a point where he couldn't orgasm without it; without Gabe’s cock pressed against his, without his lips curled around his length… It had been nearly maddening, but at last, at last, he'd be able to have Gabriel again. 

Sam tried to pay, but Gabriel insisted. Sam settled on an agreement to pay next time, a smile teasing at the corners of his mouth at the words _‘next time.’_ Gabe wanted this to be a regular thing. They had already slept together, and would be doing so for the next four days, but still, the assurance had him beaming. 

Sam wanted to reach for his hand as they walked out. The spaces between his fingers were right where his fit perfectly, and he was missing the feeling, but he forced his hands into his pockets as they stepped out onto the sidewalk, quickly hailing a cab for the two of them, deciding that it would be too long of a walk, and there would be too much opportunity to be recognized if they walked together. Besides, he figured that they were both far too anxious to get each other out of their clothes to be bothered with such a trek. 

The ride home was spent in relative silence, deciding not to risk any flirty exchanges in the presence of the driver. Instead, Sam put his hand down in the space between them, reaching over and nudging Gabe’s hand with his little finger. A simple touch, a simple gesture, easily disguised or brushed off. 

The cabbie pulled up to his home, and Sam paid the man as quickly as possible before sliding out and leading the way in, keeping his head down lest they be spotted. He jogged up the steps, unlocking the door quickly, Gabe following close behind as he pushed it open, the two practically tumbling inside before Sam slammed the door and locked it behind them.

Gabriel didn't wait, he couldn't. He needed to touch Sam before he went crazy. He pressed Sam against the door, pulling him down to kiss him hard. He kissed him like he needed to to live, like his kiss was keeping him alive. Gabriel didn't know how he'd survived this long without Sam’s lips on his, and he knew he wouldn't if he had to go any longer without it. 

He would take his time later, but he'd been dreaming about this for four days and he'd be damned if he had to wait even a second longer. 

Gabriel tore at Sam’s coat, shoving it over his shoulders and down his arms, dropping it to the floor. His suspenders were next, then the buttons on his shirt. He worked them deftly, his lips never once leaving Sam’s. Finally, the last one was undone, and Gabriel pulled it off of him the same way as his coat. 

“Where is your bedroom?” He asked between kisses, caressing every inch of Sam’s chest. He ran his hands from his shoulders, down his pecs, pausing only to pinch his nipples lightly between his fingers. He could feel Sam was hard already in his pants, and he reached to cup him through his trousers. “Unless you want to fuck me right here?” 

Sam’s bedroom was all the way upstairs, and he wasn't sure that he would be able to wait that long. Instead, he pulled Gabriel close, claiming his mouth once again as he struggled with his clothes, not nearly as skilled in the art of undressing a lover as Gabriel was. Between his inability to see what he was doing, the trembling of his fingers, and his distraction from Gabe’s fingers massaging at his erection through his trouser, it proved a difficult task. 

He nudged Gabe backward, leading him into the next room over. Their common room, fully equipped with an overstuffed sofa, a large bookshelf, and a fireplace. He was sure that this room could've proved to have a classy, romantic air to it, but they were too distracted to care much for aesthetics. 

Finally managing to get Gabe’s shirt unbuttoned, he pushed it off his shoulders and threw it into the corner before pushing Gabe onto the couch, climbing overtop of him and straddling his legs before stealing his lips once again. He could feel Gabe’s erection through his trousers, pressing up against his own. Slowly, instinctively, his hips began grinding up against him, desperate to appease the need for friction. 

He could've come just like that, necking and grinding between their clothes, the much-wanted release threatening to spill from him already, but he decided that there were better ways to finish. 

“How do you want me? Tell me what you want.” Sam whispered hoarsely between kisses. 

Gabriel gasped as Sam ground down against him, bucking upwards unconsciously in his desperation. He felt like a teenager again, rutting through their clothes, dangerously close to cumming in his pants already. This what what Sam did to him, made him come apart barely touching him. He couldn't decide if he was ashamed or impressed. 

“Sam,” he mewled, bucking up again, wanting to feel the length of him. “Fuck me please,” he begged. “Want to feel you inside me, please,” 

He'd been preparing for the last couple days, using toys he had hidden under a floorboard in his bedroom to stretch himself in preparation for Sam’s size. Gabriel was aroused just thinking about it, remembering the hours he'd spent, crying out Sam’s name in the privacy of his rooms. It had been hard without the real thing but he didn't want the pain when it came down to it. 

With his other lovers, Gabriel had never had the chance for this sort of prep. They're just tumbled into bed once or twice and that was it. But this, this was something different. He didn't want to waste time on pain, just pleasure. 

He kissed him hard, pulling him down flushed against him, and rolling his hips against Sam. “Please.” 

Sam had never penetrated anyone in his life, but hearing Gabriel beg beneath him… He wasn't sure how satisfactory a lover he would be, if he would know how to make it feel good in the same way that Gabriel had made if feel _so good_ in the shower. He felt nerves build up in the pit of his stomach, but seeing how much Gabe wanted it, how could he refuse?

Sam forced himself upright, fiddling with the button of his pants until he freed his cock, rubbing at his aching length through his underwear as he tore off his trousers and tossed them to the side before turning to Gabe’s. He unbuttoned his trousers before nearly ripping them from his legs, desperate for him, to be sheathed deep inside of him. 

“I don't… I don't want to hurt you.” Sam panted, slowly reaching down between Gabriel’s legs, nudging them apart and running his fingers up his inner thigh before reaching his hole, only to find him already open. Not entirely, and not slick enough to slide in easily, but it felt like he’d opened himself up a bit beforehand, like he’d been touching himself there before their date. 

_“Oh…”_ Sam whispered. Gabe had expected this, had prepared himself for this. Slowly, testing the waters, he slipped a finger easily inside, then two. 

Gabriel pressed back against him, his head thrown back in pleasure. Sam’s fingers were inside him, probing him, and it was everything he'd ever fantasized about all those nights at Purgatory. It already felt so good, and he clenched around him, wanting more. 

The look on Sam’s face and the little noises he made as he fingered him had Gabriel’s self restraint fraying, and he fought not to just ride his fingers until he came hard all over his stomach. This was all he'd thought about for four days, all he'd touched himself to as he prepared for this moment. 

He had to think of something awful so he didn't come right there, and shame himself in front of Sam. Sam was staring at him like he were the only thing in the world that matters to him.

“You won't,” Gabriel groaned, looking up at Sam from under heavily lidded eyes. “In my pocket, there's, _ahhhhh fuck…_ there's oil… Jesus, Sam, your fingers,” he pushed back, fucking himself slowly with Sam’s fingers. He was dying, drowning in the feel of it all. Sam was long and thick, and he was going to feel so good.

 

Anticipation roiling in his belly, he reached over toward the edge of the couch where he had discarded of Gabe’s pants. He patted them down with one hand, the other still working inside of him, and grabbed the small bottle of oil that sat in his front left pocket. 

Sam slowly pulled his fingers out of Gabriel’s body, sorely missing the tight heat around him, but deciding to trade it for something better. He popped open the cap and drizzled the oil over his fingers before reaching down and giving his cock a few cursory pumps, slicking himself with the oil, slathering it over his length in abundance as to make sure that he didn't hurt the smaller man. 

Taking in a sharp breath, he took in the sight of his lover. He was sprawled across the couch, entirely at his mercy, open and desperate for him, _begging_ for him. Sam could've sworn that he had died and gone to Heaven - ironic, given that he was getting into bed with the third child of Heaven’s family. 

Sam lined himself up with Gabriel’s rim, inhaling sharply, feeling the rim flutter as he pressed the tip shallowly inside, trying to suck him in. Sam let out a small whine before opting not to resist anymore, no longer hesitating as he pressed inside and sunk deep into the hilt. 

Gabriel let out a guttural moan as Sam finally sank into him, sliding in until he hit home. Gabriel savored the burn and stretch inside him, loving everything about it. He'd been desperate for this for days and the feeling of it did not disappoint him. Sam was bigger than any lover he'd ever had, and he felt full to bursting. 

“Fuck,” he breathed in Sam’s ear, holding him close and wrapping his ankles around the small of his back. “Fuck, you're big,” he moaned, nipping at the lobe. “Feels so good, Sam. This was worth waiting for,” 

It was true. It was better than anything he'd ever done, and far better than touching himself. He thought guiltily that the taboo of it made it even better. He'd never laid eyes on the Winchester compound before and now one of their leaders was making love to a Novak on their couch. It was a beautiful mess. 

“Sit up,” Gabriel requested, treating Sam to one of his signature Trickster smirks. This was another of his fantasies, one that had developed since the last time he'd seen Sam. He wanted to ride him, wanted to pin Sam Winchester down and make him scream his name to the heavens. He wanted Sam to see every inch of him, and he wanted to feel every inch of that glorious cock inside him. 

Sam stifled a moan at each noise that Gabriel made. He tried so desperately to make love to him properly, but found his hips stuttering and faltering as he struggled to thrust, struggled not to come. So when Gabriel suggested turning them over so that he could take the lead, there was a certain amount of relief that filled him. 

He obeyed, sheathing himself deep inside and rolling them both over until Sam was sitting upright on the couch, Gabe straddling his thighs, still situated on his cock. Sam’s hands found his waist, fingers running over his muscled form as Gabriel began to move, cock twitching inside of him. 

_“Fuck,_ Gabe… _ah, ah, ah!”_ Sam moaned, head thrown back in ecstasy as Gabriel began to pick up speed above him. He could already feel himself getting close, balls beginning to draw closer to his body already. 

He didn't want to come yet. No, no, he wanted to make this last as long as possible, wanted to make love to him like this for _hours,_ but knew that he couldn't. Instead, he at least wanted to make it last as long as he could. He dug his nails into Gabe’s sides, trying to keep himself from coming too quickly. 

Gabriel slowed to a stop, settling down into his lap. He could tell that Sam was struggling, but instead of being annoyed, he wanted to help. This was Sam’s first time, and Gabriel only remembered too well how quickly he'd come the first time he'd been sheathed inside anyone. 

He leaned back, reaching between them to squeeze the base of Sam’s cock. He formed a ring around him, holding him tightly, hoping it would stave off his orgasm for just a little longer. Gabriel then leaned in to nibble on his ear. 

“Shhhh,” he purred, licking the shell of his ear. “Relax, Sam,” he told him, rolling forward gently and clenching around him. “It'll last longer the more we do it, and I want you to take me on every surface in this house. Maybe I'll even have you, hmmmmm? Would you like that? Open you up, make you scream?” 

He rode him hard and slow, holding him so he didn't come. Sam’s face was so debauched, Gabriel wanted to take a picture, to remember it forever. His eyes were closed, head tilted back, everything given over to the pleasure he was feeling. 

Gabriel wanted to give him as much pleasure as he could, and finally he left go of him, and whispered huskily in his ear. “Come for me, baby.” 

The idea of taking him over and over, of staining every flat surface in the house with their transgressions, the idea of being taken by him, stretched open to accommodate his girth… Sam’s head was spinning at the very thought. 

Almost as soon as Gabe released his fingers, Sam’s release washed over him, orgasm taking him over. Pleasure overtook him, overriding all conscious thought. His head rolled back as a strangled whine escaped his throat, sounding almost pathetic as he came. Riding out his orgasm, Sam rocked into him, thrusting up into him and coming deep inside of Gabriel’s body.

“Gabriel!” Sam cried, clutching him tighter as he trembled. 

As Sam’s cock softened inside of him, he let out sharp whine from the overstimulation, pulling himself out quickly, though he instantly regretted it when Gabe let out an uncomfortable sound, Sam realizing that he had pulled out too quickly. Sam sputtered out an apology, though Gabe didn't seem frustrated or annoyed or angry at him. 

Gabriel moaned as Sam spent inside of him, pushing inside of him hard and deep. It felt incredible, and Gabriel knew he would never get the image of Sam coming and crying out his name out of his head. He pulled out almost immediately after he was soft, and Gabriel was unprepared for it. He tried to stop the groan from slipping from his lips, but he couldn't. 

“You’re still… You're still hard.” Sam breathed, eyes glancing down between them, his erection still pressed between the two of them. 

“Yes,” Gabriel shrugged, pulling Sam in to kiss him soundly. He wasn't mad, this was only the first course, and seeing Sam come apart with so little stimulation made It worth it. He wanted to make him come over and over like that, until he was a spent mess. 

Gently he climbed off of him, pushing him down so his back was on the couch. “I'm not done with you yet,” he grinned. 

He started kissing down Sam’s neck, making sure to only leave marks below the collarbone where he could hide them. He worshiped his chest and belly next, purposely avoid his sensitive cock. “Legs up,” he requesting, bending them so Sam’s entire undercarriage was on display, and he leaned forward and licked him right behind his balls, delicately pointing his tongue. 

Sam gripped tightly at the couch, letting out a small whine as Gabe tongued behind his balls, squirming with overstimulation. His flaccid cock threatened to harden again at the feeling of his tongue, the sensation somewhere between heaven and hell. 

_“Gabe…”_ Sam mewled, squirming beneath his touch, but his strong hands held him still. 

Sam let out a loud gasp as the Trickster moved downward, tongue probing at the sensitive ring of muscle. Gabriel’s hand moved to push his softened cock out of the way, pinning it against his stomach as his tongue probed at the taut ring of muscle, circling his rim. Between the overstimulation and his probing tongue, Sam could hardly contain himself. 

_“Fuck…_ Feels so good, Gabe… I…” He let out an almost pathetic whine before he could finish his sentence, unable to hold it in. He felt his cock twitch beneath Gabriel’s palm, struggling to harden again, though he wasn’t quite sure that he could. 

His back arched as Gabriel speared his tongue past the rim, drawing a short cry from his lips. The feeling of Gabriel’s finger inside of him when they had showered together had been almost unparalleled, intense like nothing that he’d ever known before. He wondered what it would feel like to take his entire length, how it would feel to have Gabriel sheathed inside of him, making love to him slowly… 

The idea of it had him moaning louder than before, words flowing from his lips that he couldn’t quite make out, strings of _‘fuck’_ and _‘god’_ and _‘please’_ and _‘Gabriel…’_

“Please… In… Inside me. I want you inside of me.” Sam begged as Gabriel’s finger probed his rim alongside his tongue. 

Gabriel looked up at him from between his legs, one finger still probing inside of him. He worked it in and out slowly, stretching him with each pass.

“You’re sure?” He had to be absolutely certain that this was what Sam wanted. He wouldn’t penetrate him until Sam gave his full and total consent. 

He reached for the vial of oil that Sam had used before, and popped the top. He withdrew his finger from Sam slowly, dumping oil on his fingers liberally. He didn’t want Sam to feel pain when he entered him and he would take as much time as was necessary to make sure he was ready. Gabriel had had the unfortunate experience of not being prepped enough the first time he’d engaged in anal sex and the resulting pain was no laughing matter. 

Gently he slid two fingers inside him, inch by inch until he couldn’t go any farther. Gabriel spread his fingers inside of him slowly, opening him up. He paused, holding him open and bent down, taking Sam’s soft cock in his mouth. He wanted Sam to relax, to enjoy everything that has happening. 

Gabriel worked in a third finger, pumping them in and out of Sam as he writhed on the couch. His cock was hardening in Gabriel’s mouth, and he made sure to suck and pleasure him in the places he’d noticed Sam had liked. This was all about Sam, and Gabriel was in no rush to get off, even though his cock was aching so hard it hurt. The very thought of burying himself in Sam’s body had him dripping onto the couch. 

Sam could feel his arousal rolling in the pit of his belly, his cock twitching inside of Gabe’s mouth. Normally, the attention that he was receiving would've made him uncomfortable, not generally liking eyes on him for too long, but this was different. Even when Sam was the center of Gabe’s attention, even when he was the only one receiving pleasure, Gabriel gave off a sort of vibe that suggested that he was enjoying this just as much as he was. 

Gabe’s fingers worked and stretched inside of him, pumping in and out of him at accelerating speeds, each movement striking momentarily against that sweet spot that sent so much pleasure coursing through his veins. He had thought that the pleasure that had come with being sheathed inside of Gabriel was intense, but the feeling of his mouth licking and sucking at his length while his fingers worked deep inside of him brought his pleasures to new heights. 

_“Please,_ Gabe… I'm ready. I'm ready, please…” Sam moaned. His fingers grasped tightly at Gabe’s hair, pulling tight in attempt to tether himself to earth. 

“I… I want you to f-fuck me.” Sam begged, voice coming out in a quivering whimper, unable to make them come out stronger as Gabe’s fingers continued pumping in and out of him.

Finally Gabriel pulled off him with a loud pop. “You need to tell me if I'm hurting you, okay?” He asked, moving up to kiss Sam tenderly. 

He withdrew his fingers from Sam’s body slowly, taking the vial of oil from the couch and drizzling some on his straining cock. He stroked it over his heated flesh, biting back a desperate moan. He knew he wasn't going to last very long, but he wanted to make Sam come again before he spent inside of him. 

Gabriel lined himself up with Sam’s hole, pressing the tip against him. He pushed in slowly, watching Sam’s face for any sign of discomfort from him. He was barely inside, only and inch or so when he stopped, leaning in to ravish Sam’s mouth. 

Sam was so hot and tight, Gabriel almost couldn't imagine being fully seated inside him. He would die from the pleasure of it. He was the first person to do this, the first person to make love to Sam, and something inside him wanted to be the last. 

It was a stretch, accommodating to his girth, but it wasn't painful, just enough sting at the rim to be pleasant. Gabe moved slowly, inching into him, and he supposed that he knew why, knowing that going too hard too fast would be a bad idea, but the idea of him picking up speed inside of him, of his hips thrusting faster and faster until they were both moaning and panting and screaming…

Sam crossed his ankles around Gabe’s waist, trying to pull him in deeper. As he pushed in past the sphincter, the head of his cock pressed insistently against his prostate, drawing a small cry from his throat as he pressed his face into the crook of Gabe’s neck. 

Seconds turned to minutes as Gabe finally sunk into the hilt, seating himself fully inside, the two of them left panting and clinging tight to each other. Sam had never felt quite so full, but it wasn't an unpleasant fullness, not in the slightest. It felt like some metaphorical hollowness tucked inside of his soul had finally been filled. He had never felt so full, never felt so _alive…_

_“Fuck…_ So big.” He sputtered out, unable to get out full, coherent sentences, savoring the feeling of Gabriel seated inside of him, hole twitching and contracting around him. 

Gabriel couldn't speak, he couldn't breathe. He was drowning, fully seated inside Sam’s body. He couldn't move either, as his coming orgasm threatened to overwhelm him in an instant. It just felt so good he had to pause so he didn't come like a teenager. 

Slowly, he pulled back, beginning to thrust inside of him. “Fuck Sammy,” Gabriel breathed, once he found his voice again. “So tight. So… perfect. So… fucking… beautiful,” his hips thrust forward with every word. 

He couldn't help himself after that, and he pulled almost all the way out, slamming back into him with a hearty snap of his hips. He was drunk on the feeling of Sam’s body around him, drunk on every little noise Sam made, and every time he screamed Gabriel’s name into the vast empty house. 

“Louder.” Gabriel growled once really got going. His hands snaked up and he pinned Sam’s wrists down. “Want to fill this house up with your noises, Sammy. Want the neighbors to hear you crying out for my cock.” 

Each slap of skin on skin spurred him on, each strangled moan as he hit Sam’s prostate had him bearing closer and closer to the edge. He could feel his balls drawing up against him, and his hips thrust erratically as he struggled to maintain control. 

Gabriel let go of one of Sam’s wrists to take his cock between them, giving it a rough stroke. He wanted him to finish first, wanted to feel Sam coming around him as he came. 

He could've come from the prostate stimulation alone, but Gabriel’s fist stroking him quickly had him nearly screaming. Gabe’s thrusts began to pick up speed, his hand stroking in time as Sam strangled back a shout. Gabe may have wanted to hear him, but he forced himself to stay at least somewhat quiet, not wanting to risk informing the neighbors of his sinful affairs. 

_“Gabe…”_ Sam mewled. With one, two, three brutal thrusts delivered into his body, Sam came hard again. There wasn't as much semen that came spurting from his cock, having been spent already, but it was still enough to cover them both. His hole began to twitch and contract around his length, body instinctively trying to milk his lover’s orgasm from him. 

“Come in me, _please…_ Come for me. Come inside of me.” Sam begged, as he spread his legs wider. The stimulation was almost painful now, but he let Gabriel continue, desperate to milk his orgasm from him, wanting the Trickster to spend himself inside of him.

Gabriel need no further urging, he’d been holding back his orgasm for the last hour and he was desperate to come. He came with a loud shout, so hard that he saw white behind his eyelids. It was the most intense orgasm he'd ever had and he clung to Sam as he emptied into him, forcing his seed deep inside Sam’s body. 

He didn't move for a long second, breathing raggedly in the crook of Sam’s neck. He didn't pull out, just held him, listening to the erratic beating of his heart. 

“When you ask so nicely,” he said finally, grinning up at him from his place with his head against Sam’s chest. He trembled through a couple small aftershocks, hand reaching up to pull Sam down for a kiss. 

“You did great, kiddo,” he told him, reaching to pull a blanket that had been folded on the back of the couch over the two of them. “Not bad for your first time. Good thing we have the rest of the week to practice.”

Sam smiled sleepily at the praise, hormones kicking in as his body began to shut down from the effort, longing for rest now. It was still too early for sleep, but he supposed that a short nap wouldn't hurt him. With a small sound, he buried his face into Gabe’s shoulder, clinging tight to him, never wanting to let go. 

He knew that there were chemicals in the brain that pushed people to say and think stupid things during and after sex. And Sam was no exception, even knowing that rational thought wasn't saying this. He forced his mouth shut, knowing that it would be stupid to make bold declarations after barely over a week of knowing each other. But it didn't stop it from running through his head. 

_I love you._

He forced his mouth shut, knowing that admitting his feelings, whether fleeting or permanent yet to be discovered, would be a bad idea. Instead, he just lay there, bodies pressed one another, chests heaving in time, skin against skin in ways more innocent than Sam could comprehend, especially given the sins that they'd just committed. 

Finally, once he was confident that his words weren't going to tumble unrestrained from his mouth, he spoke quietly, barely a whisper in Gabe’s ear. 

“Do you think we could stay like this forever? Do you think that this, what we have, could ever last?” He whispered, partly skeptical but mostly hopeful. 

Gabriel held Sam tightly against him, still inside of him. He didn't want to pull out, didn't want to lose that closeness to Sam. 

“I want it to,” Gabriel told him, peppering his face with butterfly kisses. “I want to keep you,” 

He didn't say the rest of it, that he worried for Sam’s safety, that he was terrified that Michael would hurt him. He didn't know Sam’s brother, but he did know Michael, intimately, and he knew how he'd react to finding his little brother literally in bed with their enemies. 

Sam savored the feeling of his softening cock inside of him. It was a curious feeling, different than his fingers or hardened length. But the feeling of Gabriel inside of him, the small kisses pressed along his skin… He wanted to stay just like this, under their post-orgasm haze, skin sweaty and sticky but neither of them really caring too much… He wanted this to last. 

Gabriel closed his eyes, tucking Sam’s head under his chin. He wanted a nap, maybe a snack, and then round two, and three and four. He had had so many fantasies in the past four days he wanted to check off. Most of all, he just wanted to spend time with Sam, to get to know his mind like he now knew his body. 

“Nap for now,” he told him, kissing his forehead. He dozed off. 

Sam sighed and smiled, eyes closed as he held the man closer, burying his face into his bare skin and breathing him in, the scent of smoke and whiskey and honey and rain. And breathed him in, a smile teasing at his lips as tides of sleep washed over him, dragging him out to sea.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-4)
> 
> 1\. Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra  
> 2\. I Miss You - Adele  
> 3\. Loving You - Minnie Riperton  
> 4\. You and Me - Lifehouse  
> 5\. Halo - Beyonce  
> 6\. Let Me In - Grouplove  
> 7\. I Wouldn't Mind - He is We  
> 8\. Alice by the Hudson - AJR  
> 9\. Ain't That a Kick in the Head - Dean Martin

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._

Sam woke a few hours later, the sun having set long ago now, disappearing beneath the horizon to be replaced with the moon and the stars. Gabriel lay at his side now, the two of them pressed against each other as they struggled to share the sofa. The bed would be easier, if they could ever manage to get up there. 

_I love thee to the depth and breadth and height_

Sam slipped off of the couch, making sure not to disturb his sleeping lover. He has stood up to retrieve a book from the shelf, choosing something at random, too distracted by the sleeping body on the couch to care about his choice of book. Besides, he probably wouldn't be reading long. Once Gabriel woke up, he assumed that they would return to their love-making, repeating the cycle of sleep and sex. Not that Sam was complaining. 

_My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight._

He took a seat at the edge of the couch and leaned back, cracking open his book. He flipped through the worn pages, the book being at least a few decades old. An old book of sonnets that he'd found months before in an old mom-n-pop shop, having picked it up for little more of a reason than the fact that he was intrigued by the cover. 

_For the ends of being and ideal grace._

He thumbed through the yellowed pages until his eyes caught at a title, one that immediately called to him. _‘How Do I Love thee? Let Me Count the Ways.’_ His eyes scanned over the title over and over before his eyes wandered back toward Gabe, who now clutched a throw pillow, looking like he was reaching out for Sam. He smiled softly before turning back to his poems. 

_I love thee to the level of every day's_

He knew that there was a danger in thinking this way, letting the word love slip into his vocabulary when it came to Gabriel Novak. He knew that he shouldn't let himself think this way, knew that he should just shut the book and wake him up, ravish his body and keep their arrangement strictly sexual. 

_Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight._

There were so many reasons not to love Gabriel. He was a Novak. Novaks were known for their brutality, their cunning wits, their thirst for vengeance. Their families were enemies, and outside of his blind optimism, Sam had no reason to trust him. There was also the fact that they were both men, and they would never be able to have a normal life together. Even getting out of their businesses, they had no chance to truly have some happily ever after. 

_I love thee freely, as men strive for right._

But god, there were so many reasons to love Gabriel. The hopefulness that radiated from him, almost making Sam believe that there was something better out there for them both. That goddamn smirk that drew the flutters from the pit of his stomach. His strong hands, his quiet moans, the way that he moved inside of him, the way he felt around him… Every part of him screamed at him to hate Gabriel Novak, and yet there was something that brought Sam to loving him. 

_I love thee purely, as they turn from praise._

It was not a rebellious sort of attraction, either. At first, perhaps, there had been some urge to spite society for their hatred for what he was, and perhaps that spite, along with his undying attraction to him, had driven him to first walk across the floor and greet him for the first time. But it turned to something genuine, something deeper than what he could fully understand. He wanted to stay like this forever; both of them unclothed and messy, Gabriel sleeping next to him… It was like this, this domesticity, was what their lives were supposed to be like. 

_I love thee with the passion put to use_

As he leaned back, eyes scanning the sonnet over and over and over again, he could still feel the place where Gabe had been inside of him, a slight tug, a slight ache between his legs. He hardly minded it, that slight ache reassuring him that this was real. This was his reality now. The most gorgeous man he'd ever met sleeping beside him after sex, the two of them tucked away from the rest of the world for at least the next four days. 

_In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith._

Resting his hand on his lover’s leg, eyes struggling to pay attention to the book, his mind wandered to fantasies and thoughts for their future. He knew that they'd never get to be normal. They'd never be able to get married. They'd never be able to adopt kids and build a family. They'd probably not live long enough to see the day where they weren't hated for what they were. But maybe they would be able to run away together someday. Away from their families, away from their mobs. Maybe they'd own a club like Gabe had talked about, where people like them could go and not have to worry about being arrested, or hated, or beaten up and murdered. Maybe they could find something like normalcy. Something like this. 

_I love thee with a love I seemed to lose_

He supposed that it was too early for grand fantasies of growing old together. It was too early to determine if this would last long at all, or if they would ever be more than casual lovers. A secret affair and nothing more. But he let himself entertain the thought, entertain the idea of something beyond their scandals. 

_With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,_

Sam felt the body next to him begin to stir, Gabriel waking again, looking dazed and still drugged with sleep but beginning to wake again. Sam smiled, knowing what was soon to come as arousal once again began to light in his belly. Gabriel, at least for now, was really only here for one reason: sex. 

_Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,_

“Good morning.” Sam chuckled as he sat down his book. Gabriel was completely bare, eyes wide as he struggled to blink sleep away from them, hair disheveled and skin still sticky from sweat and semen. Sam supposed that he looked much in the same. 

_I shall but love thee better after death._

~~~~~  
Gabriel Novak was well and truly fucked. 

Even though he’d just had sex, he didn’t mean literally. He awoke slowly on the overstuffed couch in the Winchester Compound living room, to Sam getting up. He almost followed, but he was altogether too comfortable to move just yet. He reached out for a pillow and tried to fall back to sleep for a little. 

But he couldn’t stop watching Sam. 

His lover was all fluid grace and long limbs, and Gabriel felt his arousal growing deep and simmering in his belly even though he’d just come. He was beautiful, like an fallen angel with his halo of mahogany curls and sun-kissed skin. Sam reached for a book, stretching up just enough to allow Gabriel to further appreciate his form. He decided the women of this town were either daft or blind. Sam was perfect physically, tall and strong, with broad shoulders and narrow, compact hips. He was made for this kind of bedsport. Gabriel could only imagine their play after he’d tutored Sam a little. 

He watched covertly under his lashes as Sam sat down lightly on the couch and began to read. He looked so young reading, the tension dropping out of his face as his eyes scanned the words on the page. It was a book of sonnets and Gabriel’s heart leapt in his throat, proving to himself well and truly that his attraction to Sam wasn’t only physical. 

Sam wasn’t only attractive, he was smart too. He read, he was well-spoken and funny. He had dimples in his cheeks that peaked out when he smiled. His tongue flicked endearingly out of his mouth when he explained something, and Gabriel’s stomach gave another flip. 

He was so, so fucked. 

If this was just about sex, he wouldn’t get butterflies when Sam spoke, when he talked, when Gabriel could see his mind working behind those gorgeous hazel eyes. He craved his voice as much as he craved his cock. 

Gabriel was falling in love with him. 

He told himself he was stupid, falling in love with a man who ran their biggest rivals business. He told himself he was blind, that Sam would wait until he was least expecting it and stab him in the back. Gabriel told himself that this infatuation with him would pass. But none of it held any weight to him. 

He wanted Sam in every way that was possible for one human to want another. He wanted his body, his mind, his companionship. He wanted him to succeed and be happy, he wanted everything the world had to offer for him, and he knew in his heart, that he would give away the very soul of him to make it happen. 

He shifted when Sam put a hand on his leg, feeling the soreness inside him. He wanted to stay that way, for Sam to make him sore over and over, to never stop as long as they both lived. He wanted them to have a life together, even though in his head he knew it wasn’t possible. In his mind’s eye he could see it, a red house with a white fence, he saw a little girl with Sam’s eyes and his smile, he saw a club, a future away from all of this. 

He struggled to sit up, yawning as Sam turned to look at him. 

“Morning, kiddo,” he smiled. Gabriel leaned forward and captured Sam’s mouth in a hungry kiss. “I’m guessing you have a bathroom in this joint?” 

“Mmhmm…” Sam hummed climbing over top of him, straddling his legs before wrapping his fingers around the side of his neck, stealing his lips again. 

Fingers threading through his hair, Sam melted into the kiss and felt Gabe doing the same. He'd let him go in a minute, but wasn't quite ready to let go of him. He let his fingers graze over his side, down over his hip bone, over the cleft of his ass… 

He couldn't get enough of the way that his lips tasted, of the way that his body molded against him. The sex was good, _god it was good,_ but the way that it felt to kiss him, the way that it felt to hold him, the way that it felt to fall asleep and wake up next to him… That was something that he was quickly growing addicted to. 

He finally pulled away slightly, giving a small grin. 

“Down the hall. First door on the right.” He answered, pecking him on the nose before rolling over onto his side and freeing the man beneath him. 

Gabriel gave him a cheeky grin, and sat up stretching languidly. “You're coming with me,” he grabbed at Sam’s hand, pulling him up. He had no shame of getting up, naked as the day he was born and pulling Sam down the pristine hallway of the house. 

He supposed he was wicked for laughing a little about Dean Winchester’s reaction if he walked in right now, witnessing one of his rivals completely naked dragging his equally naked brother. Gabriel giggled as he pulled him into the bathroom, rising up on his tiptoes to kiss him. 

The bathroom was everything he thought it would be, all curves and white porcelain. The bathtub and shower were truly magnificent, and Gabriel found his mouth hanging open a little. The Novak mansion was nice, but this was something else completely. 

He turned the water on hot, flooding the bathroom with a rush of sweet steam. “I need to clean you up before I make you dirty again,” He teased, running his hands over Sam’s chest and abs. 

He couldn’t stop touching him. It was as if every minute that Gabriel didn’t have his hands on him was wasted. When the water was warm, he pulled Sam in, moaning almost pornographically at the feel of the water on his sore and sticky body. 

His arms wound their way around Sam’s shoulders, but even on his tiptoes, he couldn’t fully reach him. The size difference between them was much more noticeable when they were standing, and that gave Gabriel an idea. 

“Say, do you think you could pick me up?”

Sam smiled, watching Gabe as he melted beneath the spray of the water, the way he seemed to come alive again beneath the heat, muscles relaxing. He truly was a sight to behold. 

Gabe was much smaller than him, barely reaching his chin being a couple of inches shorter than average, and Sam was a good 6 inches taller than average, so the mix made him a bit hard to reach. But between the need to keep a strong build when you worked in this line, plus his only release being physical activity for years, Sam had something of a chiseled build. Gabriel would be easy to hoist up. 

Stealing a kiss, Sam’s hands found their way beneath his thighs before hoisting him up, pressing the smaller man up against the wall, cock hardening between his legs. He'd already spent himself twice in the past few hours, but young and vivacious and horny as hell from so many years of guilt and suppression, he could hardly control his arousal. 

“Like this?” He muttered with a smirk, just barely pulling from his lips. 

“Just like that,” Gabriel kissed him hard in response, loving the way Sam could pick him up like he was nothing. He hooked one arm around Sam’s shoulder to hold himself up. His free hand crept between them to stroke Sam’s hardening cock. 

He groaned as Sam pushed him against the wall, kissing him senseless. His own cock was hard and heavy against his belly. After four days of dreaming about Sam, and weeks dreaming about his mystery man, it was not surprise that he could get it up again so soon. 

Gabriel pulled himself up, lining up Sam’s cockhead against his entrance. He was still slick and stretched from before, and it only took a little effort for Sam to press inside him. Gabriel gasped as Sam entered him, the soreness from their previous encounter making it that much better. He hooked his legs around the small of Sam’s back, and used the leverage to sheath Sam further inside of him. 

Gabriel threw his head back against the wall as Sam bottomed out, and rocked against him. He knew Sam had been a virgin, but he was determined to teach him. 

“C’mon,” Gabriel whispered, pulling him into another kiss. “Show me how it’s done.” 

Sam struggled to adjust to the sensation, still new to the feeling of being sheathed deep inside of someone. And the difference in position, standing up rather than sprawled on the couch, forced to take charge instead of letting Gabriel… It was overwhelming. Not unpleasantly overwhelming, but overwhelming nonetheless. 

Slowly breaking away from the kiss, Sam let his forehead rest in the crook of Gabe’s neck as his eyes focused between the two of them. Gabriel’s cock, straining and wet at the tip, was pressed hard between their bellies. Sam was sheathed deep inside of him, settled at the hilt, the pressure mindblowing as he clung to the smaller man.

Chest heaving, he slowly began to move. He steadied Gabe against the wall and slowly began to pull himself out, though he was hardly able to unsheath himself before his hips instinctively snapped back inside of him, burying himself deep inside the damp heat once again. He let out a ragged moan, eyes clamped shut as he struggled to move, each small thrust jerky and uncoordinated in this position. 

He let out a wrecked whine, somewhere between the intensity of his pleasure and his frustrations with himself for not being a very good lover. Sam had always been smart, typically the smartest person in the room, but right then, his own inexperience and ignorance felt crushing as he struggled to move, struggled to make love to him properly. 

Gabriel cried out as Sam snapped his hips inside of him, and he pressed a kiss to the side of his head. He could tell from the jerky movement that he was struggling again, overthinking the whole act. 

“Sammy,” he whimpered. “Stop thinking so damn much. I love that big brain of yours, but turn it off. Your body knows what to do, baby.” 

He was rewarded with another hard snap of Sam’s hips, grazing off his prostate. He howled at the pleasure coursing through him, the angle of their coupling making Sam feel bigger than he already was. 

“You feel so good, Sam,” he praised him, hoping it would help. “You know how hot it is that you can pick me up like this, bruise me up, manhandle me?” He clenched around Sam. “I'm gunna feel you for a week. Every movement I make belongs to you.” He babbled. “Please baby, please,” 

Sam’s hips still stuttered, but every couple thrusts there was a good hard one that had him seeing stars behind his eyelids, and he voiced his appreciation. “Doing so good, Sammy.” 

Gabriel’s praises had Sam’s mind spinning. His gripped tighter to him, shifting his hands slightly to get a better hold on him as his hips began to thrust more instinctually into him, it all coming a bit more naturally. 

Stifling a moan, Sam pressed his lips against Gabe’s shoulder. Hips snapping upward again, he forced himself into silence, teeth sinking into Gabriel’s skin to muffle his cries. He didn’t bite quite hard enough to break the skin, but it was certainly enough to bruise for the next week or so. He couldn’t help but feel a bit proud of himself for it, knowing that Gabriel would be marked, and every time he went to change clothes, or went to get in the shower, or to look in the mirror, he would see it and remember this. 

_“Mine…”_ Sam murmured, something possessive in him that he didn’t know had been there erupted from him as he delivered another brutal thrust into him, his fingernails digging into Gabe’s thighs. 

“I want-” His breathing hitched before he could get it all out, but he stilled for a moment, regaining his composure. “I want you to remember this every time you look in the mirror.” He murmured, suckling at the forming bruise. “Want you to see it and know that you belong to me… And I belong to you.” 

He had never felt so possessive over anything before, had never been the sort, but he supposed that when he found something worth holding onto, it belonged to him and him alone. Sam didn’t want anyone else to touch Gabriel, wanted to be the Trickster’s one and only. 

Licking and sucking at the abused flesh, his thrusts began to pick up speed, no longer stuttering so much. He could feel himself growing closer to his climax, balls drawing up closer to his body with each brutal thrust delivered into him.

“Yours!” Gabriel cried out, his voice bouncing off the tiled walls. Sam had nailed his sweet spot head on and he was struggling to keep a hold of himself. “Only yours, Sam,” he promised, as Sam fucked up into his warm body. “Yours, yours, yours.” 

He’d never needed to be faithful with any of his other lovers. They were passing fancies, or agreed upon arrangements. They knew he took lovers whenever he wanted, and he knew that they did the same. But the very thought of anyone else touching Sam, of their lips or hands on him, made Gabriel’s blood boil. He didn’t want anyone else, only the man in his arms. 

Sam kept sucking on the the bite he’d made and Gabriel tilted his head to give him better access to the spot. He wanted to be marked, wanted to see the bruises of Sam’s kisses, the marks of his fingers on his hips, love bites on his inner thighs. He wanted to remember everything that had happened here, and he wanted to make new ones to cover the only until his skin was patchwork of their love. 

“‘M so close, baby,” Gabriel slurred, dropping down onto Sam’s cock. Once Sam got going, it felt amazing, sending wave after wave of pleasure course over him. He kissed Sam roughly, his hand threading through his damp locks and pulling. “Want you to come inside me. Make me yours, Sammy.” 

Gabe’s voice echoing off the tile walls, his pleasured cries and his filthy whispers, he couldn’t hold back any longer, couldn’t stop himself from coming.

A loud gasp escaped his throat, his orgasm taking him over almost unexpectedly. His hips faltered a moment before slamming deep inside of Gabe, the hot semen filling him, marking him in the most primal way that Sam knew how, claiming him as his own. His head spun and he could see stars behind his eyelids, constellations telling their love story, what was, what is, what was yet to come…

As Sam came down, he was met with a symphony of sensations, each one like fireworks exploding across his skin. The spray of water still pounding against their flesh, his rapidly softening cock still sheathed inside of his lover, Gabe’s hole contracting around him, the dull ache of his muscles as he struggled to remain upright, the humming of molecules buzzing between them… 

It was an overwhelming pleasure that Sam had never been able to fathom, not to this extent, not to this intensity, before Gabriel. But with Gabriel, this overwhelming, overpowering, overtaking pleasure was becoming something that he could look forward to in his future. Their future. 

Gabriel only needed the added sensation of Sam filling him with hot cum to push him over the edge into the abyss. He came hard between them with Sam’s name on his lips, all traces of the white fluid being washed away by the hot water of the shower. 

Gabriel’s legs were shaking as Sam slipped out of him and put him on the ground, holding the wall to keep himself upright. He grinned ferally up at Sam, biting his lip. “That was… that was… _wow!”_ He praised, pulling him into the spray. 

The water felt amazing on Gabriel’s sore muscles, washing away all traces of sweat, and semen, both dried from before and fresh. He tilted his head back under the spray, washing the day’s activities from his hair. When he’d finished, he took up a bar of soap and began washing Sam. 

He soaped up Sam’s chest, moving the bar over his shoulders, and then sliding down to skim the sensitive buds of his nipples. He did his stomach next, making sure there were no stray drops of his come. He slid the bar around his waist to get his back, copping a feel and grabbing his bottom, slipping a finger in between his cheeks. 

Gabriel knew that Sam was probably hypersensitive, but he couldn’t help touching him, trying to memorize every inch of Sam’s perfect skin. Finally, he pulled him down for a tender kiss, every molecule of his body buzzing in happiness. 

Sam was mostly in a daze as Gabriel touched him, cleaned him off, somewhere caught between awake and asleep as he stood under the warm spray, contented as Gabe touched every inch of him. He swayed slightly back and forth, perhaps more at ease than he had ever been in his life. As the smaller man pulled him down, claiming his mouth, Sam smiled against his lips pulling him closer. 

As the water began running cold, he turned it off before stepping out, reaching for a towel and wrapping it around Gabe’s shoulders for a moment, pressing a small kiss against his lips, a crooked smile on his lips. 

He reached up with the towel and dried out his hair, messing it up. With a small smile, he slowly dried him off, occasionally pecking him on the lips, on the forehead, on the nose as he did. 

“Do you want to borrow some clothes? I don't think any of mine would fit but Dean’s not much bigger than you so you could probably wear some of his.” He offered. He knew that if they did get dressed, it probably wouldn't be for long, but he figured he'd ask anyways. 

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him, taking the towel from him to finish drying off. “You’re right, I’d probably look like a toddler in your clothing. Dean’s would be just fine.” 

He laughed a little bit. “Am I the only one who finds this a little funny? Could you imagine what would happen if he knew I was wearing his skivvies?” He had to admit it was a little funny. He knew Dean’s reaction most likely would be one of anger, but for right now, drunk on their lovemaking, it seemed hilarious to him. Their families had been fighting each other for decades and here they were, their father’s sons, frolicking naked with abandon. 

He took the clothes that Sam gave him and slipped the worn shirt over his head. He slipped Dean’s lounge pants over his hips, admiring the bruises that already starting the form on his hips from Sam’s fingers. He could only imagine what the rest of him looked like. 

“So what about a snack?”

Watching him dress in slightly-too-big clothes, covering himself in attempt to preserve some sort of faux modesty, it was almost as gorgeous as watching him undress. Sam watched from the corner of his eye as he pulled on his own clothes - a pair of oversized flannel pajamas that could easily be torn from his body when Gabe was ready again. 

“Yeah, uh, we’ve got… Something. I'm sure.” He replied, a bit awkward, scratching at the back of his neck. Sam had never been one to eat much, despite his size. He wasn't quite sure what was in the kitchen, and he figured that he should have thought of that beforehand, and he mentally chastised himself for it. 

Sam led the way back toward the kitchen, Gabe following closely behind. His eyes scanned the pantry, searching for anything that sounded particularly appetizing. Half an apple pie, a bottle of red wine, a block of cheese, a bottle of rum, a few bottles of Coca-Cola. Dean had picked out all of it, the man mostly living off of alcohol and pie. Everything else consisted of uncooked sausage and various other meats that Sam didn't care to prepare. 

Sam had normally been the one to do the shopping, but over the course of the past four days or so, he had been too distracted to remember to go. So Dean had gone instead, and naturally, he'd come back with nothing decent worth eating. Cheese and pie and meat. Sam cursed his brother and himself for it, feeling a bit embarrassed at their lack of selection. 

If somewhat awkwardly, he sat out everything on the counter, deciding to let Gabe choose from what they had. 

Gabriel laughed when he saw Sam’s offering. It might not have been good enough for respectable company, but it was more than good enough for him. 

“It's perfect.” He grinned, grabbed a stool and sliding over. He picked up a knife and began cutting cheese. “Can you get the plates?” He asked him. “Would hate to make another mess.” 

Sam took two plates from the hutch and put them down in front of Gabriel, who started filling them with cheese and pie. Drinks came next, and he mixed them two rum and cokes to wash their feast down with. “The snack of kings,” he joked, pushing one of the plates towards Sam. 

Even though he loved sex, there was nothing better than the aftermath, the sheepish smiles, the pillow talk. Even if they hadn't yet made it to Sam’s bed, Gabriel still wanted everything that went with it. He wanted every part of him. He was greedy for it. 

He took a sip of his drink. “So, what were you reading before? I love to read.” 

“Just an old book of sonnets. Elizabeth Barrett Browning, I think.” He replied, popping a slice of cheese into his mouth. 

Sam hadn’t expected Gabe to be the reading type; he knew that he was smart, but he hadn't assumed that he had gotten his knowledge from books. But he supposed that he didn't assume that from anybody anymore. 

“When I was a kid, I always wanted to grow up to be a writer. The next Shakespeare or something. My dad always discouraged it. I wanted to go to college, too. Stanford or Princeton or Harvard. I had the grades for it. But my dad would've disowned me, and if I couldn't succeed as a writer anyways, there was no point.” Sam mused, taking a sip of his drink. 

He hadn't told anybody that before. He rarely let on to how smart he actually was, having decided that it was easier to let people think that he was the stereotypical mob thug rather than someone with a near-genius level IQ. But he couldn't help but feel like some sort of wasted potential, like he had thrown some better life away for the sake of a family business that he despised. 

“What kind of things do you like reading?” Sam inquired after a moment.

“Everything,” Gabriel smiled at him, popping a cube of cheese into his mouth. “When I have time. There's a pile of books in my room that I've been meaning to read, and it just keeps getting bigger.” He took a sip of his drink to wash it down. 

“Michael keeps me pretty busy though,” he continued. “I feel like he thinks if I'm busy and tired, I won't get into any trouble, but that hasn't exactly worked out, has it?” 

Michael hadn't been his brother since the moment their father died. He'd stopped be fun, and stepped into the role of commander. They hadn't laughed together in years, not like before. Lucifer could still laugh, but it was much darker now, more tainted and sinister. Castiel was the only one who really cared anymore. 

“Is Dean a hardass too?” 

Sam shrugged. He and Dean had always been close, but in recent years, their relationship had been strained. Dean had taken over the business, and he'd been stressed as hell ever since, rarely having time to just spend time together. Once upon a time, they had been just like any other brothers; laughing and teasing and arguing and fighting, but at the end of the day they always loved each other. Now it always felt bitter and strained to some degree, between the lies that they told each other and the constant stress… 

“I don't think that he ever wanted me to get involved. When we were younger, he'd sneak and buy books for me. Helped me study for school. I think he wanted me to go to college. He encouraged it when Dad didn't. But ever since Dad died, he's just… Changed. I don't know. He's tired. He doesn't really make me do anything I don't want to do when it comes to the business, and I can mostly work when I want. Our family is big enough to afford that freedom. But he’s pretty consumed by it. All he ever really does is work.” Sam explained. 

He missed his brother. Missed the days when it was the two of them against the world. Missed not feeling like such an outcast. He wondered if he'd ever be able to recapture the glory days, and they could be more than just brothers again. If they could ever be friends again. 

“Were you ever very close to your brothers?” Sam inquired. 

Gabriel shook his head sadly and reached for the bottle of red wine Sam had brought out before. 

“Once upon a time,” he replied. “Michael was always a little apart from us, the heir to the family business and all of that, but we were still close ya know?” He took a hearty sip and grimaced at the dryness. “But Luc and I were thick as thieves as kids, always getting into trouble, always where we weren't supposed to be. But then Dad pulled him into the business and that was it. Cas and I are still close, but that's because I raised him after Mom left.” 

He shrugged again. “Cas got the short end of stick there; Michael, Luc and I had Mom and Dad, even if Dad was always busy. But Cas, Cas had no one but me. I tried, but there's not a lot a ten year old can do.” 

He didn't know why he was still talking, but it felt right, it felt good to be able to let everything out. “I tried to keep Cas out of the business, begged Michael to let him be normal, but that didn't work out. At least, he's under me, I get to choose how involved he is. I keep him out as much as I can. He knows… about us.” 

Sam nearly choked on his drink at the confession. Castiel Novak, a member of a rival family, a _goddamn Novak for Christ’s sake,_ knew that he was gay. 

Of course, he only knew that because Sam was sleeping with his brother, but… 

Anxiety began roiling in his stomach, threatening to overturn everything that he'd just eaten at the very knowledge that someone other than Gabe _knew._ His head was spinning as struggled to keep down his food.

Gabe knew what he was doing. He had been at this longer than Sam. Sleeping with men. Coping with the aftermath. Sam trusted him. It was okay. It needed to be okay. 

“He… Knows? And… And he's okay with it?” Sam sputtered out after a moment. 

Gabriel laughed uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah he's …. he's kind of like Sherlock Holmes… he notices everything, and us leaving together didn't go unnoticed by him.” 

He reached across the table and grabbed Sam’s hand, stroking the back of his hand with his thumb. “It's fine, Sam. If he wanted to tell Michael, he would have done it already. That being said, he'd never tell Michael. He'll cover for us.” 

Gabriel understood Sam’s apprehension at Cas knowing. The only way two men could keep a secret is if one of them was dead. But Gabriel trusted Cas with his life, he would rather die than rat them out. 

“He's known I like men for a long time apparently and he hadn't narced on me yet. He's my brother, we're safe,” he tried to reassure him, offering him a smile. Inside, he was panicking. What if Sam broke up with him? What if he threw him out?

Sam decided to trust him, as he'd been doing since meeting him, even if his trust may have been construed as foolish. He trusted Gabe when they left the club, when he spent the night with him in the motel, when he slept in the same bed as him, when he brought him into his home. He knew fully well that all of it could've been a scheme to infiltrate their family, but Sam trusted him anyways. He had no reason to lose that trust now. 

“Okay.” Sam murmured. Sam brought the hand that had been resting over his own up to his lips, pressing a small kiss against Gabe’s knuckles. “If you trust him, then so do I.” 

With a reassuring smile, watching the relief flood over Gabe’s features, Sam exhaled slowly, calming back down. He picked up his fork and cut into the slice of pie, taking a small bite before changing the subject. 

“How long have you been… Attracted to other men?” Sam inquired, genuinely curious. Sam could remember his first crushes being on boys. He could remember watching Dean run around with boys a few years his senior when he was young, maybe 8 or 9, and thinking that they were always cute. He hadn't known how wrong this was until he heard his father yelling at Dean one night, smacking him across the face and calling him a ‘faggot’ for allegedly being caught holding hands with Benny, the next door neighbor at the time. 

“As long as I've been attracted to anyone,” Gabriel admitted, squeezing Sam’s hand, smiling as he watched him eat. “There was never a question for me, I just liked boys as much as I liked girls.” 

His father had tried to impress some form of religion on them, but like with everything else, the business took first priority and going to church on Sundays took a back seat. It wasn't like they were decent folk anyway. They weren't fooling anyone. The Novak name was known far and wide for the brutal nature with which they did their business, and church wasn't going to change that. 

“What about you?” Gabriel asked, looking up fondly at Sam. “Did you ever like girls? Was there anyone who tickled your fancy?” 

He was genuinely interested. He wanted to know everything there was to know about Sam, his entire life story from birth until now. 

“No.” Sam mumbled, shaking his head slightly. He had tried so many times he'd lost count. But the idea of sex with girls, or the idea of settling down and starting a family with a woman, the idea of falling in love with a girl… None of that had appealed to him. For as long as he could remember, he could only picture himself with men. 

“I tried to like girls. But I just… Don't. I can't. I wish I could. I wish I could get married and have kids and build a family with some girl. But I just… I can't. I've only ever liked men. No matter how hard I wish. How hard I pray. How hard I try to just suck it up…” Sam spat, cursing himself inwardly. 

Running his thumb over a scar that ran over the back of Gabe’s hand, he averted his eyes. Sam had always felt a tremendous guilt associated with his proclivities and preferences. He had always considered himself spiritual; not necessarily religious, but he prayed a lot. So each time he got down on hands and knees, he felt a roiling in his stomach, guilt filling him each time he went to talk to his god. 

“How come you don't just sleep with girls if you like them too? Not that I don't like that you sleep with men, but it'd be safer, wouldn't it? You wouldn't have to hide. You could get married. Have kids. You could have a normal life if you wanted.” Sam murmured, thumb running over the scar, the raised flesh like artwork as Sam attempted to memorize the way that it felt beneath his fingertips. 

He didn't want Gabriel to go after that normal life that he could have. He wanted Gabe to stay with him forever, live just like this, secluded from the world. But he couldn't help but wonder why. 

Gabriel could tell from the tone of Sam’s voice that he'd hit a nerve, and he scooted his chair closer to him. 

“Because I never found a girl I wanted to settle down with,” Gabriel said, looking up at Sam. “Because it's not about what you have in your pants, it's about what you have in your head.” He explained to him. 

Yeah, he liked women, he liked their bodies and the way they felt under him, but sex could only sate him so much. He needed more going on between his lover’s ears. He'd only found one girl that could keep him entertained and she broke it off, and he got over her. 

He didn't want Sam feeling insecure about this, thinking he'd leave him for a woman, just because it was easier. It wasn't about what was easier, but what would make him happy. 

Gabriel skipped the words now and pulled Sam into a hungry kiss. He wanted to drive all doubts from Sam’s head. 

Sam reached up and ran his fingers through Gabriel’s hair, pulling him closer. Whatever ounce of worry that had been there dissolved beneath the heat of his kiss, his touch being enough to reassure him. Enough to tell him he was wanted. Gabriel’s lips made him feel like he was floating, made him feel like they were the only two people in the world. 

After a long moment, when they were out of breath and gasping for air, Sam pulled away slowly, pressing his forehead against the Trickster’s, eyes boring into his. His chest heaved slightly with each breath as he struggled to regain himself, his composure and his grace. 

“Do you want to… Settle down with me? If we ever had the chance?” Sam whispered, voice low and breathy. Gabe had said some things that perhaps suggested it, but never really said it outright. Never told him exactly _what_ he wanted. Sam needed to hear it. Needed the reassurance. 

He gripped harder at the Gabriel’s hand, squeezing his eyes shut as he inhaled sharply. “Tell me this is real. Tell me you think we can have something more than just this vapid little affair of ours.” He whispered shakily. “I need to know you want this too.”

Gabriel’s heart leapt in his chest as he heard Sam’s words, even if his head was telling him to slow down. They hadn't really known each other that long, but Gabriel had always been rash. 

“This is real,” he breathed back. “I want it to be. I wouldn't be risking my life for a fling.” He explained, not addressing the rest of Sam’s question. Did he want to settle down with Sam? If everything went well, yes. Did he think it could happen? With some care, yes, but he didn't want to jinx it. Saying it out loud was risky, even for someone like him. He didn't want to break the magic of it. 

Gabriel reached for him again, pulling him in tighter this time as he kissed him. His hands went around Sam’s bare waist, playing with the band of the pants he was wearing. His skin was already hot to the touch, and Gabriel wanted more. 

He bent and pressed filthy open-mouthed kisses into his neck, hands snaking into his pants. 

Sam let out a small gasp at Gabe’s touch, cock hardening once again beneath his fingertips. Sam pulled him closer, nails piercing into his flesh as Gabriel’s hand brought him to full hardness, touching and teasing right there in the kitchen. His fingers were curled tightly around his length, stroking in slow, rhythmic motions, the action cloaked by Sam’s pants. 

When he felt like he could no longer breathe, fearing that he may come in his pants right then and there, he pulled away, letting out a strangled whine. With trembling hands, he cupped his hand over Gabriel’s cheek and pulled him into another kiss, open-mouthed and desperate. 

“Bed. _Now.”_ Sam growled, pulling him toward the stairs. 

Their kiss hardly broke as the two of them stumbled up the stairs, too drunk on lust and desire to stop. Leading the smaller man toward his bedroom, shoving the door open as they tumbled back. 

Making it toward the edge of the bed and slipping his hand down into Gabriel’s pants, palming against his throbbing erection, Sam let out a small groan. 

“Prove it to me. Prove to me that it’s real. Make love to me.” He murmured, his voice breathy and trembling. 

Gabriel wasted no time taking the rest of Sam’s clothing off in record time. He pushed him down into the plush comforter on his bed, yanking his borrowed shirt off over his head. His pants quickly followed, pooling at his ankles.

“Gladly,” he smirked at Sam, moving to the bedside table to pull out his oil. It only took him another moment to join him back on the bed. 

Gabriel had never seen a bed so big, even his bed at home was dwarfed in comparison to this one, but he didn't mind. This one had Sam in all his naked glory sprawled out across it, all long limbs and gorgeous skin. 

Gabriel bent to capture Sam’s lips quickly between his own, before pouring some oil out between his fingers. He didn't waste any time sliding his hand between Sam’s legs and tracing his entrance with a finger. He was still stretched from before, and Gabriel pushed in gently with one finger. 

Sam let out a small gasp at the feeling of intrusion, one hand grasping desperately at the sheets as Gabriel struck lightly against his prostate. It was just a small graze over the sensitive nub, but Sam’s back arched sharply at the feeling, pleasure shooting through him. 

_“Gabe…”_ Sam whined as Gabriel slipped another finger inside, pumping in and out as he picked up speed, scissoring him open quickly. Low moans flowed unrestrained as the Trickster’s skilled fingers struck prostate again and again, pressing insistently against it. 

Sam could've never imagined how good it would feel before he met Gabriel. He had known that sex felt _good,_ knew that much from just touching himself, but he had never been one to explore his own body. Gabriel’s fingers massaging at his prostate, bringing him pleasure inside and out… Gabriel teaching him of sensations previously undiscovered… Sam could hardly _breathe._

_“God,_ Gabriel, you're so fucking good. Feels _so fucking good.”_ Sam moaned, his fingers threading through his hair. 

Gabriel couldn't tear his eyes away. Sam was making the most beautiful picture on the bed, writhing and moaning with only the smallest touch of Gabriel’s fingers inside him. He barely had to move and Sam was coming apart in his hands. 

He slipped a third finger inside him, pumping in and out insistently. “You know how gorgeous you are like this?” He asked into Sam’s ear. “I want to keep you like this always, for my pleasure. All blissed out, begging for me, my pet.” 

Gabriel nipped at Sam’s neck before sliding down the bed to lick a stripe up Sam’s cock. He took him in his mouth, teasing as he fucked him slowly with his fingers. He wanted to bring Sam to the edge over and over, so that when he finally allowed him to come, it would be explosive. 

He hummed around him, as he sucked him root to tip, again and again, all while pressing lightly inside him. 

Sam let out a pathetic whine, toes curling tightly as Gabriel took him into his mouth. Sam felt like he was drowning, being taken inside and out. The feeling was all too intense, all too wonderful, all _too much._

When he mustered up the strength to open his eyes, the view beneath him was positively breathtaking. Gabriel's devious eyes were looking to at him as his mouth worked around his cock, his fingers no longer pumping in and out of him but massaging insistently inside of him… It was a gorgeous sight to behold, and Sam could hardly believe his eyes. 

Sam already knew that this was the person that he was meant to be with. Perhaps it wouldn't last forever, but he knew that he would never find a better lover, and that this was how things were meant to be; Sam completely at Gabe’s mercy, and Gabe completely at his, the two of them surrendering to each other and falling in together. 

_“Please,_ Gabe.” Sam moaned. _“Fuck,_ please, you're so damn good… _God,_ I need you inside of me.” Sam begged, desperate to be filled. 

Gabriel chuckled as he watched Sam beg. He was loving every second of this. They'd only been together a couple of hours, and already he'd come three times. 

He pulled off Sam’s cock with an obscene pop, licking at the head lazily. He didn't want to stop, he wanted Sam to fall apart, he wanted to taste him. Gabriel held the base of Sam’s cock tightly, hoping to take some of the pressure off him. He was in no hurry. 

He wiggled the fingers inside of him, probing and stretching and rubbing lightly against the little nodule inside of him. “Watch and learn, kiddo,” he laughed. “This is a teaching exercise.” 

Gabriel pulled his fingers out, but kept his other hand ringed around his cock. He hiked Sam’s legs up over his shoulders and bent to lick at the grasping ring of muscle. Sam was stretched, and Gabriel took full advantage of that, diving in with his tongue as far as he could get, licking and slurping as he held him still. 

Sam let out a sharp whine, his toes curled tightly, fingers reaching down and threading through his lover's messy hair. It was a curious sensation, different than how it felt to have his fingers or cock buried within him, something far gentler about it, yet still far more devious.

There was something about being completely at the mercy of Gabriel that felt _right,_ but maddening at the same time, entire body trembling as some hollowness grew inside of him, Gabe’s tongue not nearly enough to fill him. Sam felt himself instinctively clenching and releasing, greedy and desperate to be filled to the brim again. 

Gabe’s fingers were tight around the base of his cock, unmoving and refusing to let him come, no matter how much he wanted to as the Trickster's tongue worked inside of him. He let out a shrill whine, entire body trembling with the effort to remain composed. 

_“Fuck,_ Gabriel, _please…”_ He whined, eyes rolling back as he felt Gabe’s tongue sweep over the sensitive ring of muscle. 

Gabriel was relentless. He speared him over and over with his tongue, humming as he pleasured him. He loved hearing Sam beg for him, loving hearing his name on Sam’s lips. 

Finally he came up for air, grinning like a madman. “Since you beg so nicely,” he teased, lining the dripping head of his cock up with Sam’s swollen hole. He didn't push in, not quite, just resting the tip against him. 

“Should I let you come?” Gabriel smirked at him, rutting lightly, tracing his hole with pre-come. “Should I make you wait until I'm finished? Or let you come now and fuck you hard again, hmmm? What does my baby want?” 

Sam looked so wrecked beneath him, so utterly debauched, and Gabriel was hard pressed not to just let him come all over himself. It would only add to the masterpiece, Sam’s heaving chest dotted with pearly white, his spent cock bouncing as Gabriel fucked into him, making him scream. 

_“Please…”_ Sam whined. He raised his hips slightly, trying to nudge Gabriel’s cock into him, but Gabe pulled back each time he did, refusing Sam his pleasures. 

The idea of being fucked into oversensitivity, Gabriel pushing him over the edge and going further and further until he was screaming… The very idea of it had him rutting into Gabriel’s hand, struggling for friction. He wanted it so desperately, to a point where he couldn’t voice his desperation, couldn’t speak, couldn’t _breathe._

Gabriel had Sam wrapped around his fingers in ways that he didn’t know were possible. Lessons in dominance and in submission left him reeling and positively screwed, feeling something like love rising in him as he squirmed beneath his lover. Each brush of skin dragged Sam further and further out to sea until he was drowning in his own desperation. 

“Please make me come,” Sam whined, trembling as he squirmed against him. “Make me come and fuck me hard.” 

“Your wish is my command,” Gabriel grinned at him, releasing the pressure on Sam’s cock but not letting it go.

Sam came with a howl, bucking upwards, and Gabriel took that opportunity to push inside him, bottoming out inside his clenching hole in one hard push. It was almost too much for him to bear, the vision of Sam, and the perfect rhythmic pressure around him, but he managed to hold on. 

Sam’s come was splattered all over his chest and stomach, only making Gabriel harder. He pulled out and pressed inside again, making sure to nail Sam’s prostate each and every time he did it. 

“You're so gorgeous,” Gabriel hissed, hooking Sam’s legs over his forearms so he could see him better. It was everything he'd ever wanted. Sam’s face and chest were flushed a perfect shade of pink, his hair sticking to his forehead, come reflecting off the overhead light. “God, Sam. So fucking perfect.” 

Sam could feel his cock softening on his hip as Gabriel slammed into him again, pleasure so intense that it was almost painful, shooting through him with each precise strike of his prostate. He let out a cry loud enough to rattle the walls and wake the neighbors, head slammed back against the pillows and eyes rolling back as Gabriel pushed into the hilt. 

Gabriel’s praises had him whining all the louder, the stream of worship and adoration tumbling from his lips causing a hot blush to creep over his skin, the already-pink flesh deepening to red as his he moaned. The feeling of Gabriel’s length inside him, thrusting and pulsing within his body, was overwhelming on its own, but his words were almost enough to send him over the edge again and again, until he was devoid of all rational thought. 

Sam reached up with one hand as Gabriel delivered another brutal thrust into him, letting out a loud cry as he did so. Sam dug his fingers into Gabriel’s shoulder, tugging him down slowly over top of him, wrapping his legs around his waist. The roughness of him, the pleasured agony ripping through him, it incredible, but it had lacked intimacy. Sam tugged him close, nails scraping down his back, leaving raised pink trails in their wake. 

Gabe’s hips thrust roughly into him, striking right against the sensitive nub inside of him, drawing a sharp cry from his lips. The prostate stimulation from each brutal thrust delivered into him, mixed with his softened cock trapped between them, it had every sense in this perfect overdrive. 

_“Fuck,_ Gabriel, _ah, ah, fuck,_ God it's so good, you're so big, _fuck...”_ Sam babbled incoherently. 

Gabriel practically growled as Sam scratched his way down his back. He couldn't help the brutal pace, not when he was racing his own impending orgasm. He didn't think anything had ever felt so good. He felt like they were in a bubble, a perfect bubble, where nothing else mattered except the two of them. 

He pulled Sam up from his back, so they could be face to face, and kissed him hard. He never wanted to let Sam go, just wanted to make love to him over and over in this bed, never to leave. 

He kissed him until he was out of breath, his hips stuttering as he struggled to keep control. He had to slow down. 

Murmuring his apologies, he slowed down, laying Sam back on the bed, so he could see him. He was flushed and sweaty, and the best thing Gabriel had ever seen. He reigned in his thrusts until they were hard and purposeful, wanting to bring Sam to orgasm again before he spent. 

He reached for Sam’s cock between them, giving it a stroke. 

Sam’s breath caught in his throat as Gabriel’s fingers gripped at his straining cock, struggling to harden again. A choked whine escaped from his throat as he pushed back against Gabe, thrusting up into his hand as he returned to hardness. 

Sam’s fingers roughly fisted around the sheets as pre-come began to flow from his cock, Gabriel’s hand stroking him and smearing it down the shaft. The synchronization between Gabe’s thrusts and the messy strokes of his hand had him screaming, the pleasure taking him over until he was drowning in it, every inch of him overtaken by it. 

He was barely in control of his body, losing himself to the intensity of it all, but as he bit down a breath, he forced his eyes open, wanting to witness with his own two eyes what was being done to him. Gabriel’s eyes were blown wide, looking somewhere between determination and adoration, staring down between them, watching himself as he continued to thrust. His shaggy hair was matted to his forehead, dripping with sweat, face flushed pink, heated with the effort.

Gabriel was like a god, and Sam was his willing and faithful servant, each trembling moan escaping his lips like a prayer. 

His head swimming and his eyes rolling back into his head, Sam could feel his balls drawing tight against his body, his orgasm so close to overtaking him. 

_“Fuck,_ Gabe, I’m gonna come… I’m so close, _god,_ I’m gonna come.” Sam moaned.

Gabriel had never been so happy to hear those words. He’d been struggling to keep himself under control, and Sam’s release meant he could finally stop holding back. His pace was erratic and he gave Sam a couple more strokes before Sam was spilling into his hand. 

The clench of Sam’s inner muscles sent Gabriel spiraling, and he came with another hard thrust deep inside of him, his eyes squeezed shut. He could have died happy then, holding Sam, buried inside him, with starbursts of pleasure exploding across the insides of his eyelids. 

It took several long moments before he could talk, and he opened his eyes to see Sam staring down at him, breathing raggedly. Gabriel offered a smirk first, kissing him tenderly. “I’m never leaving this bed,” he told Sam, his head pillowed on Sam’s chest. “Just you and me and this bed, and maybe cheese and pie from time to time.” he joked. 

In his heart, he was only half joking. He didn’t want to let Sam go. He didn’t want this to end, and already the time was slipping through his fingers like sand through a sieve. He’d already been here for almost a day, only another 3 to go and then who knew how they would manage to see each other. Gabriel knew one thing though, he wasn’t letting go. 

Sam smiled sleepily, two consecutive orgasms leaving him pleasantly drained, energy zapped from his bones. Barely able to move, he willed his arm tight around Gabriel, fingers drifting through frizzy, sweaty hair, eyes drifting closed as a small smile tinged at the corners of his lips. 

“Promise you won't leave?” Sam murmured sleepily. 

He never wanted Gabriel to leave his bed. Never wanted him to leave his side, wanted to keep him tucked just beneath his arm. He wanted to keep him here until the end of their days, tucked away in this bedroom, locked in their little fold of the universe. He squeezed him tight, pressing his lips against the smaller man’s forehead. 

“Don't leave me.” He whispered against his skin, voice coming out like a beg. Like a prayer. 

Gabriel yawned and snuggled closer, not caring that he was covered in sweat and semen. Nap first and shower later, rinse and repeat. He could barely keep his eyes open, their bedsport tiring him out completely. 

“Not gunna leave,” he promised, kissing Sam’s cheek, his neck, his chest, any patch of skin he could reach. “Just wanna stay here with you.” 

He pulled the sheets up over them, struggling to make his limbs work the way he wanted them too. He was well on his way to sleeping like a baby, but he didn't want to, not just yet. 

He looked up at Sam, his eyes heavy, half asleep already. The other man was already gone, looking so much younger. 

Gabriel knew Sam couldn't hear him, but he made his vow anyway. “I'm not going anywhere as long as you want me here,” he swore. “I promise.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 Playlist
> 
> [Part 1](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-5-part-1)
> 
> 1\. Always - Frank Sinatra  
> 2\. Hallelujah - Paramore  
> 3\. The Words - Christina Perri  
> 4\. Renegades - X Ambassadors  
> 5\. Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran  
> 6\. Living On Love - AJR  
> 7\. Jupiter - Sleeping at Last  
> 8\. Make You Feel My Love - Adele
> 
>  
> 
> [Part 2](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-5-part-2)
> 
> 1\. Big White Bed - AJR  
> 2\. I'll Keep You Safe - Sleeping at Last  
> 3\. When You Can't Sleep at Night - Of Mice & Men  
> 4\. Already Gone - Sleeping at Last  
> 5\. Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls  
> 6\. Someone Else's Life - Joshua Radin  
> 7\. Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis  
> 8\. Here Lies Love - Bing Crosby

Sam loved the sex, the intensity of it all; the sweat-dripping, blood-pumping, heart-pounding sex always being perfectly overwhelming. But what came after… That was his favorite. 

He smiled sleepily as the smaller man settled into his chest, taking the place that he always took. Sam threaded his fingers through Gabe’s hair, damp with sweat, as it usually was. Sam couldn't help but smile. Times like these were his favorite moments; when the world crumbled all around them, there were moments like these waiting for him nearly every single weekend. 

It had been a little over six months since Sam had first made his way across Purgatory, since he’d introduced himself for the first time. After their four days of bliss, they had hesitantly slipped back into their routines, their business deals and their families, but there has been a slight change in routine. They'd been meeting nearly every weekend for sex, their weekly love affair. 

Gabriel had never been happier, he thought as he rested against the broad expanse of Sam’s chest. The sex was amazing, and Sam had only gotten better but that wasn't even the half of it. 

He found himself looking forward to what came after, when Sam held him and they talked for hours. It may have been Sam’s body that attracted him, but he'd tumbled head over heels for the man inside that body. They could talk about anything and Gabriel found himself telling Sam about everything he could think of, his brothers fighting, his first kiss, the first time he'd gotten drunk. Nothing was off-limits for Sam. 

Sam looked down at Gabriel, whose eyes were staring back up at him, the smaller man’s fingers tracing circles into Sam’s chest. Sam reached up with one hand and pushed Gabe’s hair back behind his ear, smiling down at him. He was so beautiful, bare and sticky with sweat and come, so damn gorgeous…

“I might be in love with you.” Sam confessed quietly, too tired to have the capacity to care. 

Of course, he was in love. He had been in love with Gabriel Novak ever since that first night. Before the sex, before their courting, before any of it. Sam had fallen in love on that dance floor, swaying to that song as the band played, Sam holding him tight, bodies pressed against each other for the first time, not caring who saw them. But he had never said the words aloud. 

Gabriel blinked at Sam for a moment when he heard the words fall from his lips, and his heart leapt in joy from his chest. He knew Sam was something special the first time they'd met, but he'd become so much more. He had become the reason Gabriel woke up in the morning. 

“That's good,” he said, with a smile in his voice. “Because I think I'm in love with you too.” 

He leaned up for a kiss, nibbling at his lips; swollen from hours of their shared pleasure. He found himself reaching for Sam beneath the covers, his hands coming to rest at Sam’s waist. 

Sam smiled against his lips, deepening the kiss as he pushed Gabe’s hair back, pinning it back behind his ear with his hand. He was tempted to flip them over, pin him to the bed and take him all over again, but he refrained, deciding that words could prove his affection more than sex could. 

He pulled away slowly, hesitantly, before reaching up with one hand and tugging the necklace that he always wore, a small gold anti-possession symbol, over his head. It was something of a family crest, almost, something that they all had, identifiable through the little gold symbol.

Gulping down, he took Gabriel’s hand in his own before laying the necklace in his palm. Gabriel’s fingers closed over it before Sam pulled his hand up and pressed a small kiss against his knuckles. 

“I… I could be your family now.” Sam murmured with a small, hopeful smile. “We could make our own family. Just you and me against the world… If you'd have me.” 

Gabriel wanted to say yes, he wanted to say yes with everything he was. He wanted to run away with Sam, to make their own way, but he knew that at least now, it wasn’t possible. Michael wouldn’t let it be. 

“I want to, Sam,” Gabriel whispered back. “More than anything, I want to, but we can’t. You know we can’t.” It hurt him to to say those words, to deny Sam what he wanted. Love made him want to give Sam everything, he would give him anything he could, but this was too much. His hand clenched around the warm pendant Sam had put in his palm. “Would Dean let you go?” 

He knew Michael wouldn’t. Michael would hunt them to the ends of the earth, he’d pursue them until his dying breath all in the name of family loyalty. If it was a nobody Gabriel had fallen in love with instead of a member of a rival family, Michael might have given them mercy, would have given the girl a pretty purse and a train ticket, but for Sam? He’d make them suffer. He’d torture and maim Sam in front of him, or something equally horrific. 

Gabriel wouldn’t let that happen, even if it broke his heart. 

“Michael…” he croaked, pressing his face into Sam’s neck so he couldn’t see it. “Michael would find us… they’d never stop hunting us.”

“We’d just have to run faster than them. Disappear somewhere they'd never think to look.” Sam whispered, voice cracking a bit as he desperately clung to any ounce of hope he may have had.

Running away from all of this was a childish notion and Sam knew it. He knew that running away, especially with a Novak, of all people, would mean suffering the consequences. Dean would never stop looking for him; not out of spite, not out of anger or outdated notions of blind loyalty, but because they had been close. Dean had practically raised him, after all, and he wouldn’t take kindly if Sam just up and disappeared. And everyone knew that Michael and Lucifer were absolutely brutal, and would probably kill them both if they were ever found, but…

“White picket fence. Dog in the yard. We could have it somewhere. Somewhere they would find us. We could leave the country. I heard New Zealand’s nice.” He mused with tears threatening to spring up from his eyes.. They had talked about running away together before, but it had always been hypothetical, always just the musings of two boys who wanted to run away from a shitty life. “We could get a house on the countryside. No one around for miles. No one would be able to find us.” 

He knew that it could never really happen. Not with the mob always on their tails, not with their families always searching, whether it be to force them back home or to punish and kill and destroy. But he wanted it so badly… He needed something like hope to hold onto, even if it was nothing more than an illusion.

Sam bit down on his lip and wrapped his arm tighter around Gabriel, clinging to him. He didn’t want Gabriel just one night out of the week. Sam didn’t want to just be the secret paramour, their affairs restricted to the weekends, having to pretend like they didn’t know each other any other day of the week. Sam had always been greedy and possessive; he wanted more than the weekends. He wanted Gabriel by his side every day of the week. 

“I just… I love you so damn much, and I don’t… I hate letting you go. I hate letting you walk out of this motel room without me. I… I just… _Goddammit,_ I want _out._ I wanna be with you.” Sam whispered, voice shaking as he clung tighter to the smaller man.

“I want to be with you too,” Gabriel whimpered. “I would if I could, Sammy. I wish… I wish we could just disappear, but you know they’ll find us. I’d imagine Dean is just as stubborn as you are, he wouldn't give up,”

Gabriel’s heart was breaking as he listened to Sam, and his shaking voice. But there was nothing he could do to fix it, not right now. 

“I’m sorry, Sam,” he apologized, taking Sam’s cheek in his hand and looking into his eyes. How he loved those eyes and their kaleidoscope of browns, and blues and greens. He hated seeing them brimming with tears, like they were now, hated knowing that he was the one who had caused them. “I’m so sorry.” 

He didn’t know what else to say, how to convey how much he wanted it. It also sounded pathetic in his head, the rationalizations of man who was too scared of his brothers to take a leap of faith. He wouldn’t blame Sam if he decided he’d had enough with being snuck up the back stairways, and smuggled through alleys. Sam didn’t deserve that, he deserved to be flaunted like the jewel he was. 

“I understand if you don’t want to do this anymore,” his voice quivered as he said those words, his heart cracking with the weight of them. 

Sam’s brow furrowed before slowly taking Gabriel’s hand again, taking the pendant clasped between his fingers. He lifted it over Gabriel’s head and pulled it down, letting it fall around his neck, the gold standing against his bare skin. Sam gave a weak smile before pressing his lips against Gabe’s forehead, holding him close. 

“I told you that I love you, and… It's not a conditional love, Gabe. There's no _‘I love you if’_ about it. I'll love you here in this motel room, I'll love you when we grow old together, I'll love you as long as you let me. I'm not going anywhere, okay?” He promised. 

Sam pressed a small kiss against Gabe’s nose before pressing his forehead up against his. There was some bittersweet taste on his tongue, knowing that Gabriel loved him, but also knowing that these shoddy motels were all that they had at the moment. It left an aching in his chest as they lay there. 

“We’ll find a way out. Someday. Not here, not now, but someday… We’ll be alright. We’ll… We’ll get out and we can settle down… Someday. I promise.” He murmured, unsure if he could believe his own words but damn well hoping he could. 

Gabriel couldn’t say anything with the lump of emotion in his throat. He didn’t deserve someone like Sam, didn’t deserve someone who loved him like Sam loved him. He had nothing to offer him other than death and torture, and if Gabriel had been a good person, he would have let him go. But Gabriel was selfish, and he kept his mouth shut. 

He held onto him tightly for another couple of minutes until he could talk again. “We’ll be okay,” he said quietly, smiling just for Sam. “Now c’mon, we gotta go. I’ll see you for dinner on Wednesday?” 

In addition to the once a week motel meetings, they also had a once a month standing dinner date at the same restaurant where Sam had taken for him for their first real date. 

Gabriel kissed Sam again and slipped out of bed. He had to to get home. Michael’s normal meeting was Sunday afternoon and he couldn't give his brother any reason to doubt him. He picked up his shirt, rumpled from the night of the floor and shrugged it over his shoulders. He admired the necklace Sam had given him against his own bare skin, glinting in the light. It felt warm against him and he smiled, careful to tuck it under his collar. 

He pulled on his pants and then his suspenders, hating that their night together had come to an end. This was the worst part of his week, the moments he had to say goodbye to Sam for another week. They had this down to a science by now. Gabriel left first, out the front door of the hotel, and Sam left after, through the back. It wasn’t perfect, but it had worked so far. Other than Cas, no one knew they were meeting, and he hoped to keep it that way.

Sam propped himself on one elbow, watching Gabriel as he dressed. He hated this part, hated watching him leave, but _damn_ if he didn't look good as he pulled his clothes on, almost making him want to tear them right back off. 

Sam bit down on his lip. Leaving now was somehow easier and harder than it ever had been. On one hand, Sam could go home knowing that Gabe loved him too, and their separation would only last a few days rather than an entire week. But on the other, he already felt raw, broken and vulnerable after their broken-hearted confessions and promises. 

After allowing himself to watch Gabriel dress for a few moments, he forced his aching bones out of the bed. He pulled on his underwear and trousers, neglecting his shirt for the time being. He knew that Gabriel liked to run his fingers over his exposed chest, had always had some fixation, ever since that first night, and Sam had always liked it when Gabe touched him there. Running his hands through his hair, he took a step toward the smaller man, leaning down and taking his hand. 

He hated letting go, and the week always passed by so agonizingly slow, but there were moments like these, these long, drawn out goodbyes, goodbyes that ached oh so beautifully. They seemed to stretch into eternity before Sam finally had to let him go, had to let him walk out the door. After that, Sam would always sit back down in the bed and savor the lingering scent of him before walking out and hailing a cab home. 

Sam slowly brought Gabe's hand to his lips, pressing a small kiss against his knuckles, eyes locking with the smaller man’s. He had memorized those whiskey-colored eyes in the past six months, those eyes filling his dreams most nights. Some faint awareness of how lucky he was to be in love with such a man filled him. He always considered himself blessed just to know him, but that awareness grew stronger as he clung tightly to his lover’s hand. 

“I love you so goddamn much, Gabriel.” Sam whispered, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him tight into his chest. 

Gabriel hated this. He saw how Sam watched him, saw the sadness in his eyes when it came time for them to go their separate ways. It almost made him wish he was brave enough to say damn their brothers, damn their lives, and take Sam home with him. Almost. 

His heart melt as Sam hugged him. Gabriel could feel his heart beating steadily in his chest, and he wanted to keep it that way. Sam meant more to him than anyone in the world, except maybe Cas, and Cas would understand if he had to leave because of it, but Michael never would. 

“I love you too, Sammy,” Gabriel whispered back, closing his eyes and savoring the moment. “More than anything. It’ll only be a couple of days, and something will give, eventually. I know it will.” He stood up on his tiptoes to kiss him tenderly one last time. 

Eventually he untangled himself from his lover, and gathered the last of his effects from the floor and table. This was their room now. He had an understanding with the owner to the motel, and this room was held for them every week under the names “Mr. & Mrs. Jones,” just in case anyone came looking that. 

With a smile, he waved goodbye and slipped out of the door with a smile on his face. 

He was not prepared for who was waiting just outside his door. His brother Lucifer was leaning against the wall, smoking a large cigar. His smile mirrored the one Gabriel had been wearing only a moment before. 

“Hello brother-mine.” 

 

\------ 

 

Sam tossed himself against the bed as Gabriel walked out, door clicking shut behind him, inhaling slowly, trying to take in the lingering scent of him. Whiskey and smoke and come and sweat, the same smell that always lingered in the motel after their visits. From their rough and raucous sex, from the cigarettes that Gabe always smoked after sex, from the scent of booze that seemed to always linger on their clothes no matter how hard they tried to get the smell out… It was a familiar scent now, one that he had savored in the soft morning light for fifteen minutes after Gabriel left. 

_Click. Click. Click._

Sam looked up, brow furrowing to see the knob turning slightly, turning in quick, short movements in quick succession. 

Three short turns. Then one long turn. One short, one long. Two short, pause, two more short. One long. Four short. One short. One short, pause, two short. One short. 

Sam recognized it immediately, had learned it as a kid as a way to pass secret messages back and forth with Dean without their father noticing, always saying silly things behind his back. Jokes that wouldn't make sense to anyone but them, talking about things that would get them into trouble, like the mischief that they had gotten into without anyone’s knowledge… It was Morse code. 

_STAY THERE._

 

\-----

 

Gabriel wiggled the door handle as if he was checking to make sure the door was locked. He hoped Sam would get the message. Their lives depended on it. 

“Hello, Luc,” Gabriel responded, taking the pack of cigarettes from his pocket and popping one in his mouth like nothing was wrong. “What brings you here?” 

His brother grinned at him like a cat who had trapped it’s prey. “Brotherly concern. You’ve been spending a lot of time away from home. I just wanted to meet the girl who has my brother so enthralled.” 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “And you thought surprising me after sex would be a good idea?” he scoffed, taking a deep puff of his cigarette, more to settle his stomach than anything else. “Besides, there isn’t a girl. It’s several, and I’d rather appreciate it if you just left me to it. I have a hard enough time keeping them from each other. I don’t need you adding to the chaos.” 

Lucifer straightened and fixed Gabriel with a stony stare. “Just be careful, I wouldn’t want her or anyone else to get… _hurt.”_ He drawled, smiling again. He cracked his knuckles and slipped them into his pockets. “See you at home, little brother.” He walked off, leaving a trail of smoke on his wake. 

Gabriel couldn’t breathe. Lucifer knew. He felt like he was going to throw up. His knees shook and he tumbled to the ground in a sweaty heap. He needed to warn Sam. 

“Open up!”

Sam had been frozen in his seat, listening to the muffled voices on the other side of the door, not moving, not _breathing._ Gabriel’s voice came out cracking and ragged from the other side, begging him to open up. Sam bolted toward the door, tugging it open to find Gabe on his knees in the doorway. 

Sam fell to his knees in front of him and gathered the smaller man up in his arms, pulling him into his chest, holding him tight as Gabriel gripped at his shirt. He was hyperventilating, trembling in Sam’s arms. Sam pressed his lips against Gabe’s hair, running a hand up and down his back.

“Come here, come here.” Sam coaxed, slowly pulling the smaller man up. He could feel Gabe’s unsteadiness as he pulled him up, slowly tugging him inside and shutting the door, making sure that no one could see them. He pulled him toward the bed, letting him sit down as Sam took a knee in front of him, running a hand up and down the smaller man’s thigh. 

“Hey, shh, shh…” Sam murmured, trying to calm him down. “It's okay, it's okay… You're alright. You're safe… What happened? What happened, Gabe?”

Gabriel buried his face in Sam’s shoulder, trying to muffle his sobs. This was the last time he was going to be able to hold Sam, the last time he would be close to him, the last time he would be able to look into his eyes. They were done. They had to be. 

“My brother…” He cried, gripping Sam’s shirt in his terror. “My brother, Lucifer was… he was outside waiting for me.” He managed, his heart pounding. “We can’t see each other anymore, Sam. He’ll kill you. He’ll torture you and he’ll make me watch. He’ll… he’ll…”

Gabriel erupted into another fit of tears, unable to stop. His entire world was being ripped out from from under him, and there was nothing he could do about it. Hate surged in him then along with the terror, mixing and mingling in his blood. His family had taken everything that had ever made him happy, and now they were taking the only person that made his future seem like it was worth living. 

He hated being this weak, hated that Sam had to see him be like this. He was useless. He couldn't protect Sam, he couldn’t even protect himself. 

Sam’s heart stopped. Not in the way that it stopped for just a moment in fear, but it stopped like death. He knew what Gabriel was thinking before he said it aloud. He wouldn't be sobbing like this if it were simply out of fear. Gabriel stood tall in the face of fear, _laughed_ in the face of fear. No, this wasn't just fear. This was misery. This was real. He knew it before the words _‘we can't see each other anymore’_ even spilled from his lips. 

_“No, no, no,_ Gabe, no, it’s… No. Don't… Don’t, you can't… You can't leave me. I'm not afraid of them, I, I… No. I can't… I can't let you go, Gabe, I need you, I… I love you.” Sam sputtered out, clinging tight to him, tears rolling down his cheeks as he pressed his face into the crook of his neck. 

How was he supposed to live without his Gabriel? He didn't care about his brothers; he could defend himself when push came to shove. He could fight them off, could survive against heaven’s brutal family, but he couldn't survive without Gabriel Novak. He didn't want to survive without him. Sam dug his fingers into Gabe’s shirt, pulling him tighter into his chest. 

Sam bit down a breath before slowly pulling Gabriel out of his chest, meeting the bloodshot, tear-filled eyes of his angel. He slowly ran his fingers through his sandy brown hair, trying to calm him down. 

_“Shhh…”_ he hushed until Gabriel’s sobs became quiet and infrequent. “Tell me what he said. We’ll figure this out.”

It took Gabriel longer than he would have liked to pull himself together. When he dragged himself out of Sam’s shirt, he was hiccuping from the force of it, his face red and blotchy from the crying. He knew he looked like a mess, and he wiped his nose on the inner cuff of his jacket to keep it from running. 

“He was waiting for me outside,” Gabriel told him. “Waiting out there with a smirk and cigar. Said he came because he was concerned, that he wanted to meet the girl that had be so besotted.” he spat. Even the thought of Lucifer made him angry. Gabriel knew what he could do to someone, had seen the results up close and personal. The thing that had been waiting for him beyond the safety of the motel door wasn’t his brother anymore, he was a monster. 

“I tried to push him off. I told him it wasn’t just one girl, but a couple and I would appreciate it if he didn’t ruin what I had going on,” he recounted, reaching for Sam’s. “He said it would be a shame if she, or anyone else got hurt. He knows, Sammy. He has to.” 

Gabriel was sure his brother knew, he didn’t know how he did, but he could read between the lines. Someone had snitched and put Lucifer’s nose, and by extension, Michael’s, onto their scent. Lucifer was like a bloodhound, he wouldn’t let it go until he tasted blood. 

Gabriel wouldn’t risk it, not when Sam’s life was on the line. 

“Then we… We've just…” Sam tried to offer a solution, but none came to mind. It was a shit situation and Sam didn't know how to fix it. He sat there trembling, unable to stop the thoughts that raced through his head, most of them terrified. He wasn't afraid of Lucifer, wasn't afraid of Michael. He was afraid of losing Gabriel. 

He pulled the smaller man back into his chest, not ready to let him go, knowing that this could be the last time he ever got to hold on tight like this. He held on for dear life, his only reason for living being right there in his arms. How could he be expected to just _let go?_

He pressed small kisses up and down Gabe’s neck as the tears flowed unrestrained. He would gladly take torture and pain if it meant that he could have his Gabriel. He could take it, had taken it before. He'd taken beatings from his drunk ass dad before; how much worse could a little torture from the Devil be? If it meant staying with Gabriel, it would be worth it. 

“I can't leave you, Gabe. I can't just… I… I love you.” He pleaded, burying his face in Gabriel's shoulder. “We could run. Run and never look back. Somewhere they'd never find us. If you go back, they're going to hurt you. We could run. Live like damn hobos for all I care, never settle in one place. I've always wanted to travel… We could hide, Gabe, get away.” 

He was begging between sobs as he clung to Gabriel’s shirt, refusing to let him go. He couldn't. Couldn't let him go if he tried. Gabriel was the first and only man that he'd ever loved, and letting him go was unthinkable.

“They'll find us,” Gabriel insisted. “They'll always find us, Sam. You don't know my brothers like I do.” 

He shivered just thinking about it. Lucifer didn't earn his nickname by just looking scary, he had the horrific resume to back it up. Gabriel had had the misfortune of seeing the aftermath after one of his “meetings”. He would rather die than see that happen to Sam. 

“I love you, Sammy. I couldn't stand seeing you get hurt,” he explained gently. The tears had melted away into a hollow calm, as he tried to figure something out. “You have to stay in your territory. You'll be safe there. They won't risk open warfare, not on your land.” 

Gabriel truly believed that. Michael’s main concern was their business, he could care less about the other families. He'd made that clear enough. He wasn't sure about Lucifer, but he knew who held his leash. That was all that mattered. 

Gabriel should have broken it off right there, but when it came down to it, to really doing it, he couldn't. He was much to selfish to let him go. 

“We’ll figure something out, Sam.” It was all he could think to say. 

He was a Novak. He had the same cunning that Michael and Lucifer did. He would simply have to find someway to out maneuver them. 

Sam nodded before gulping down hard, taking Gabriel’s hands in his, tracing over the scars that he'd memorized over the months, scars with stories that Gabriel had spent nights explaining to him. He pressed his lips against a particularly jagged one in the center of his palm that had formed after a business deal had gone awry and a frustrated Michael had decided that putting a cigar out into his flesh would be a suitable form of punishment. 

“I know we will. We always do.” He whispered. “I love you.” 

He couldn't seem to get those three words off of his tongue. His chest ached as he whispered them. Tears were still falling from his eyes, no matter how badly he wanted to stop. Sam Winchester was so painfully in love that it _hurt._

“I won't see you again for awhile, will I?” Sam whispered, eyes watering and tears dripping down onto Gabriel’s hand. 

He didn't need to look up to know the answer. He'd be spending his weekends alone again, holed up in his room while Dean was off doing fuck-knows-what. He slowly ran his fingers down his wrist, touching lightly as he pressed his lips over and over into his skin. 

“I’ll wait for you. As long as it takes. Just… Just make love to me one more time. Or let me make love to you, I don't care, I just need… I need to something to hold me over until next time.” Sam begged quietly.

“Sam…” Gabriel trailed off looking at his lover. He knew that they needed to go, that their time together was over, but in the light of what had just happened, Gabriel could deny Sam nothing. 

He shouldn't give in. He needed to get out of here and make sure Sam was safe, but instead he reached for him, pulling him into a rough kiss, his embraces heated. He wanted to bruise Sam, to leave him something to feel when they weren't together. Just in case.

Gabriel couldn't get Sam out of his clothing fast enough. His jacket and suspenders came first, followed by his shirt, collecting in a pool on the floor. He mapped his neck with his lips, licking and sucking at the dried sweat from their earlier coupling. 

“Love me, Sam,” he whispered against the hollow of his throat. 

Sam tugged Gabriel's clothes from him, struggling with the buttons of his shirt. He needed every inch of him, couldn't get sheathed inside of him fast enough. As soon as he was able to free him of his clothes, tossing them aside, Sam pushed him back against the bed. 

He forced away the worries that were plaguing him, suppressing his fears and the knowledge that this could very well be the last time he would ever see Gabriel like this again. Instead, he focused on the masterpiece that lay sprawled out in front of him. His pale skin, the scars that painted him like a canvas, his lips pink and kiss-swollen… _Beautiful._

Sam straddled the smaller man’s legs and curled his fingers around his hardening length, stroking himself until he reached full hardness. Leaning forward, he pressed a hot, heavy, open-mouthed kiss before slowly reaching down between them. Gabe was already open from their last round; they tended to take turns, but Gabriel always had a special fondness of taking Sam’s cock. 

Sam’s hand swept over the nightstand until he found the small bottle of oil that they kept there for these nights. Sloppy and all too desperate, he coated his fingers in it and slipped them down between Gabe’s legs, pressing two fingers inside. 

Gabriel cried out when Sam speared him, not caring if anyone heard. He didn't want this, he wanted Sam inside him already. He wanted it to sting, so he would feel him tomorrow. 

“Sammy, please,” he begged, clenching around Sam’s fingers in desperation. “Need you now.” 

Gabriel didn't want to think about anything but the here and now, the feel of Sam’s weight on him, his fingers inside of him. Outside their little kingdom of sex and sheets, Gabriel’s brothers might already be planning Sam’s murder. He just wanted to hold Sam one more time and soak up what could likely be the last happiness of his life. 

What was worse was Gabriel didn't regret any of it. He didn't regret meeting Sam, he didn't regret dragging him out of Purgatory and seducing him in a dingy motel room. He was sorry for none of it. 

Sam’s fingers pressed against his prostate and Gabriel jolted up, crying out with abandon. 

“Please!” 

Sam scissored open his fingers one last time before pulling out, unsheathing himself from the warmth of Gabriel’s body. He blindly swept his hand over the sheets in search for the bottle again, not wanting to tear his eyes away from his Trickster for even a second. He didn't want to miss a single second of this, of _him._

He wanted to be able to relive this whenever he wanted, for however long it took. They would find their way back together someday, Sam was sure of it, had to be sure of it, but until then, he would only have his memories. Until Gabriel was in his arms again, he needed to be able to relive each moment. 

As soon as he found the bottle, he poured some of it over his aching cock; not as much as he normally would have, not wanting to waste the time, but enough. Giving himself a few cursory strokes, he lined himself up with Gabriel’s rim and pushed. 

The pressure and heat were mind-blowing as ever, drawing a strangled moan from his lips as he slammed into the hilt, wrapping his arms tight around the smaller man. He was typically more gentle at first, taking it slow until Gabe could adjust to the feeling of fullness, but he didn't feel like taking it slow this time. He wanted to feel it, anything to distract from the growing pain in his chest at the knowledge that this was what he'd be losing. 

_“Fuck,_ Gabe… _God,_ I love you.” He whispered as he delivered another brutal thrust into him, struggling not to cry out as he did. 

Sam’s lips found Gabriel’s collarbone, pressing small kisses against it as his hips began to pick up speed, pressing roughly into him. As he slammed in as far as he could go, he bit down into Gabriel’s shoulder, the same place that he had bit down in that shower so many months ago. The bruises they'd marked each other with had long healed and had been replaced with new ones over and over again. 

_“Still mine.”_ He growled, thrusting hard into him. 

Gabriel moaned as Sam bit into him, feeling his teeth pierce the flesh. He hoped vaguely that it left a mark, so he would have something to remember him by, some physical reminder that their love had existed aside from the gold charm around his neck. 

“Yours,” Gabriel agreed fervently. “Always yours.” 

He wasn’t lying. His heart would always belong to Sam no matter what. Castiel would have scoffed at him falling so hard and so quickly, but Gabriel knew it. He’d never felt like this about anyone before, and he doubted he ever would again. 

In the month since their first coupling, Sam had become skilled under Gabriel’s tutelage, even surpassing it. He knew how to reduce Gabriel to a quivering mess under his hands, how to make him come barely touching him. No more struggling and stuttering hips, just pleasure and love. 

“Sam, I love you,” Gabriel babbled, looking up into his lover’s eyes as he slammed into him. “Love you.” His eyes filled with tears as he said those words and he blinked them away not wanting to ruin the moment with sadness. Pleasure was flooding him with every stroke, threatening to overwhelm him, and he ran towards it, reaching between them to grab his own cock and hold it. He wanted this to last, wanted to feel Sam flood him before he came. 

Sam’s fingers pressed into Gabe’s hips, pulling him closer as he picked up speed, leaving small bruises beneath his fingertips. He wanted to mark him in every way possible, wanted him to be able to look down and see them and remember. Remember him no matter how long they may be apart. 

He didn’t want to come. He didn’t want to stop, didn’t want to pull away, didn’t want the feeling of being totally and utterly wrapped in one another to end. He wanted to stay right in this shitty motel room, wanted to stay in the room that had become more like home than the Winchester Compound ever had. He didn’t want to face the uncertainties that came outside of that door, didn’t want to face the fact that Gabriel’s brothers could very well kill him for this. 

“I love you so much, Gabe… Love you so, so much.” Sam whimpered, his thrusts slowing a bit as he took one of Gabriel’s hands in his own and slammed it against the bed, leaning down and claiming his mouth. 

His orgasm overtook him without warning as he sheathed himself deeper inside of Gabriel, letting out a ragged moan as he filled the smaller man with his seed. The feeling was almost bittersweet, bliss overtaking him for seconds that stretched out over an eternity, seconds that would come to an end too quickly. 

Gabriel let go of himself and came with a roar, curling against Sam tightly. He didn’t want to open his eyes, because if he did, it meant this was over. He didn’t want it to be. 

Even as Sam’s orgasm ended, even through the oversensitivity, Sam didn’t pull out of Gabriel. He just stilled inside of his lover, cock softening inside of him. 

Finally, Gabriel opened his eyes, taking Sam in whole. How had one man, this man, become his entire world? He used to rib his friends who fell in love like this, used to make fun of them, but now he finally understood what it felt like. He was entirely consumed with his love, so consumed it felt as if he would die of it. 

Sam deserved so much more than him, someone who would take him out and flaunt him. Gabriel would almost welcome Sam finding someone else, even if it killed Gabriel to let him go. At least he would be safe from Michael and Lucifer. Sam didn’t seem to take the threat of them all that seriously, but Gabriel had been working with his brothers for years. They maybe could forgive him coupling with another man, but they would never ever forgive Sam. 

“I love you,” Gabriel whispered, his fingers finding Sam’s. “Just remember that. No matter what happens, I love you.” 

He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach that he couldn’t shake, and he hoped it was just nerves. He’d been wrong before, he hoped he was wrong about this. 

Gabriel pulled Sam down into another kiss, tender, as if trying to memorize the feel of his lips against his own. 

Sam struggled to hold back the tears that were welling up in his eyes. He had never imagined that there could possibly be the notion of a last kiss between them. Gabriel had been the first man that Sam had ever kissed, and there had always just been this assumption that he would be the last. But he knew that there was a chance, even just a sliver of a chance, that this could be their last. 

Slowly, he pulled his lips away from Gabriel’s and buried his face in the crook of his neck, tears falling from his eyes and against Gabe’s skin. He wanted to be strong, wanted to live under the illusion that everything would be fine, but he knew that there was always a chance that it wouldn’t be okay. That Gabriel’s brothers would hurt him, that something or another would rip them apart, no matter how hard they tried to stay together. No matter how tightly their hands were clasped and their fingers were locked, there would always be the chance that they would be ripped apart. 

“I don’t want to leave this bed. I don’t want you to leave me. I just…” Sam whimpered, his voice coming out shaky and broken as he struggled to hold back the tears, as he struggled to man up. 

He pressed a small kiss against the side of Gabriel’s neck, just below his ear, where he would be able to hear the shaking of his breath. 

Sam could hardly imagine the pain that would come with standing and walking toward the door. Leaving this bed meant leaving Gabriel at the mercy of his brothers, having nothing but faith that he would ever get to see him again. A lump formed in his throat as he strangled back a sob, pulling Gabe tighter into him. 

“I love you. I’ll always love you. We’ll find a way to be together. We’ll figure something out, and we’ll be okay, and we’ll… We’ll get away from all of this someday. Run away and settle down somewhere. You and me and a white picket fence.” Sam promised, repeating empty wishes and dreams as some sort of anchor for both of them to cling to, to keep them from drifting out to sea. “I love you so much, Gabriel Novak. I love you so, so much.” 

Gabriel had to be strong for both of them. If he didn’t, they would never leave this bed, and be in more trouble. He’d figure something out, he told himself, as he pulled back to look at Sam. He’d spend his last breath trying to figure out some way they could be together. 

He slipped off one of the rings he always wore from his finger. It was nothing special, just a battered silver that he’d taken a fancy to back when he liked that sort of thing. His fingers were smaller than Sam’s, and he put the ring on the only finger it would fit on, his pinky. 

“This is only a loan,” Gabriel explained with a small smile. “You have to give it back, understand? I want it back.” 

He hoped to make Sam smile, to give him hope that they would see each other again, and to give Sam something that was his. It was plain enough that no one would connect it with him, but Sam. 

“You take care of it for me, okay?” Gabriel continued, wiping the tears from Sam’s face with his thumb. “It’ll be alright, Sam. I know it will.” 

He pressed a kiss into his temple and moved to untangle himself from the sheets. If he didn’t go now, there was no guarantee he would muster up the courage again to do so. He picked up his shirt from the floor and slipped it over his shoulders, feeling the calming weight of Sam’s necklace against his breastbone. 

Sam forced himself to sit up, hands folded in his lap as he sat, not quite ready to get up and get dressed. Dean would probably question him once he got home as to why he was so late this time, but Sam couldn’t bring himself to care, wasn’t sure if he’d even be able to bring himself to go home. The house was too full of memories now, ghosts that he figured would haunt him until he saw his angel again. After those four days that they’d spent together, every room in the house contained some memory of him, some ghost left to haunt him… 

He forced the thought out of his head and decided that he’d deal with it later. 

He watched as Gabriel got dressed again, pulling his clothes back on. He was still as gorgeous as ever, but looked more broken than he had before, like something inside of him was being shattered. Sam assumed that he looked much in the same, a shell of a broken man, struggling to stay strong enough for the both of them. 

Sam’s eyes trained on the ring on his little finger, twisting it slightly, admiring how it glinted in the low light of their dingy motel. Just a simple silver band with dings and dents to spare from God-knew-what. He brought it to his lips and closed his eyes, slowly gathering himself until he had the strength to stand. 

He dressed half-heartedly, barely able to force himself to stand. He could already feel the distance growing between them, even when the man was standing across the room. There was the hollow ache deep inside of his chest, missing him already. He wondered how much worse it would get as the weeks passed, how much more the distance would ache as the time went by.

“I love you, Gabe.” Sam whispered quietly as he fastened his belt, back turned to him, knowing that looking would only make it worse. 

Gabriel slipped on his pants and turned around, putting on his suspenders. Sam looked worn out, ragged, even though they’d just woken up. The events of the past hour had shaken them both to the very core. Gabriel was already ready to go back to bed, but he knew he wouldn’t be sleeping. 

“I love you too, Sam.” Gabriel replied, barely resisting the urge to pull Sam against him again. He knew if he did, he would never let go. “Don’t forget that.” _Don’t forget me._

He didn’t know when it would be safe to see him again, or if it ever would. His stomach felt queasy just from the idea of not being able to see him and he hadn’t even gotten out of the room yet. He could only imagine how he would feel when he got back to the house. 

The place he’d lived all his life no longer felt like home to him, not without Sam. The places of their courtship, Purgatory, the restaurant, the motel felt more like home than anywhere he’d ever been, because they had Sam in them. Even enemy territory felt more familiar than his own house, because of who he’d been sharing it with. He’d never felt more alone. 

Gabriel was torn. Part of him wanted Sam to forget him and find someone else, so he could be safe. But the other half of him, the selfish part, wanted Sam to pine for him just like he knew he’d be pining for Sam. He couldn’t decide which side he wanted to be right. 

Against his better judgement, he pulled Sam close briefly, pressing a swift, chaste kiss to his lips. “See you later, Sammy,” he smiled, and then without another word, he slipped out the door. 

It felt like a death sentence. 

Sam bit down hard on his lip as he slipped out, the tears he'd been trying so hard to bite back finally falling from his eyes. Everything in him shattered as the door slammed shut, knees giving out as he fell to the ground, no longer able to stay strong, not for Gabriel, not for himself. He let out a ragged sob as he fell forward, slamming his fist against the floor, broken-hearted and angry. Angry at Lucifer, at Michael, at Dean, at society…

He sobbed until he couldn't anymore, until the tears wouldn't come and there was nothing more than a hard lump settled in his throat. He stayed doubled over in the floor even longer, unsure of how long he'd stayed there. Rain was slamming against the window now, clouds that had been gathering since the night before breaking loose with the hell that had come upon them. 

When the tears stopped coming and the overwhelming smell of _Gabriel_ had begun to fade from the room, Sam finally pulled himself to his feet and turned toward the door. He wasn't sure if they'd ever be coming to this room again, if they'd ever tumble in these sheets again, if Sam would ever pin the Trickster to the wall in the heat of the moment ever again… 

Gulping down hard, he turned and headed to the lobby, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, not caring who saw his messy hair and his tear-stained cheeks as he turned to the clerk that sat behind the desk. 

“Cancel all future reservations for… For Mr. and Mrs. Jones.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 Playlist
> 
> [Part 1](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-6-part-1)
> 
> 1\. The Song is Ended - Frank Sinatra  
> 2\. Talking to the Moon - Bruno Mars  
> 3\. Vanilla Twilight - Owl City  
> 4\. The Lonely - Christina Perri   
> 5\. Impossible Year - Panic! at the Disco  
> 6\. Leave You Behind - Ron Pope  
> 7\. All I Want - Kodaline  
> 8\. Stardust - Bing Crosby
> 
> [Part 2](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-6-part-2)
> 
> 1\. When We Were Young - Adele  
> 2\. As You Are - The Weeknd  
> 3\. Flesh - Simon Curtis  
> 4\. Lights Down Low - Bei Maejor   
> 5\. Bang Bang - will.i.am  
> 6\. Crazy in Love - Beyonce  
> 7\. Little Monster - Royal Blood  
> 8\. Side to Side - Ariana Grande

The month that followed their parting was the longest of Gabriel’s life. He spent the next week in a constant state of inebriation, in and out of consciousness as he medicated himself with whiskey. Being awake only reminded him of Sam, and he prefered not to be reminded, it was all still too fresh. 

By the second week, he’d dried himself out enough to be able to think straight. He was walking on eggshells around his brothers, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but Lucifer spoke no more about the motel and Michael barely noticed him other to give him his orders for the week. Castiel was the only one who noticed him and more often than not, he just gave him a sad smile before he left to do Michael’s bidding. 

When his brothers said nothing after the third week, Gabriel’s heart relaxed a little. Surely if they were going to punish him, they would have done it with Sam fresh in his mind. With the imminent threat over, Gabriel gave himself over to trying to figure out how to see Sam again. 

There was no way his family would let him go willingly. Michael would hunt him, if only to make him pay for humiliating him. Even if they took Castiel with them, there was still Dean Winchester to contend with, and Gabriel didn’t doubt that he was every bit as ruthless and single minded as his father had been before him when it came to his family. 

There were two ways he figured that they could get away; either they could kill them, or blackmail them. Gabriel’s brothers were monsters, but he still loved them, so that was out of the picture. Blackmail seemed the only logical option, but Michael had no vices that he knew of, and Lucifer indulged in too many for him to want to hide them. It wasn’t going to be easy, but at least, it was something. 

When the fourth week rolled around, Gabriel decided he deserved a reward. He’d been working like a dog trying to find everything he could about his brothers outside their little kingdom. There were plenty of people that were only happy to give him the pieces to engineer the downfall of his brothers, but he didn’t have anything just yet. 

Gabriel decided he was going to treat himself and called in an reservation for one at the restaurant where he and Sam had frequented. It might be torture, but he knew with a couple glasses of wine, he could relive a little bit of his happiness, and remind himself what he was fighting for. 

He dressed plainly, in a pair of grey slacks, a white shirt and suspenders, topped off with his typical black coat and fedora. Gabriel hailed a cab and took a swig from the flask in his pocket, before being whisked off to one of the only places he’d ever been happy. 

~~~~

Sam’s home had become his own personal hell, full of ghosts that haunted him until he felt like he was going mad. He had walked home after Gabriel left him nearly a month ago, trudging through the rain rather than hailing a cab. Dean had tried to question him about it, as to why he was home so late, but Sam hadn't been able to make up an excuse. Rather than trying to lie his way out, he broke down crying again, letting out sobbing heaves with his knees curled tight in his chest on the couch where he had made love to Gabriel for the first time, when he'd taken and been taken by him that Wednesday. He'd sobbed until tears wouldn't come any longer, laying there until he fell asleep. 

Dean didn't know what had happened, but for the first time in years, Sam felt like he had his brother back. That had been the only ray of sunlight that had come out of it. Sam had hardly been able to pry himself from that couch; wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink, wouldn't go to bed. He had curled into a ball on the couch for the first week, sleeping whenever he wasn't crying. Dean had Bobby take care of any business deals that week and had stayed at his side, telling him stories and begging him to eat and doing whatever he could to make him feel better. Of course, there had been nothing to do about it, but… 

The second week was worse. He finally had the energy to get off of the couch, and his eyes were dried out, but his mind felt like it was slowly betraying him. Everywhere he turned, it was like memories had become ghosts, manifesting before his eyes. Gabriel sitting at his counter in Dean’s clothes as they talked about anything and everything. Gabriel sprawled on his bed, open and bare and dirty from sweat and come, taken into the grips of sleep. Everywhere he turned, ghosts of his lover haunted him. 

He tried to get out of the house, but it seemed that there was nowhere for him to go. Purgatory was no option. Their restaurant was out of the question. Every other place that offered any sort of comfort just felt duller now. Dean had tried so hard to get him out of the house, tried to help in any way that he could, but he couldn't seem to find anything like happiness without knowing that Gabriel was waiting for him in their dingy ass motel. 

Sam still had that Wednesday marked on his calendar, had it marked every month for the rest of the year. And whatever madness that festered inside of him urged him to go. And Sam… Sam gave in. 

With a forced smile and a new suit, Sam walked out the door and walked the familiar route. 

~~~~

Gabriel arrived at the restaurant and was seated at their normal booth in the back. He immediately ordered an entire bottle of wine for himself, and his normal dish. Sam had always teased him about getting the same thing, preferring to try everything on the menu. 

He could almost see Sam sitting across him, his hazel eyes dancing with happiness for the fact they were together before the weekend. Sam would spend the first half hour of their dinner catching Gabriel up on everything that had happened since they’d last been together, and Gabriel would listen while he sipped his wine and enjoyed the sound of his voice. He was always mesmerized by the tenor of Sam’s voice, and he could barely even remember what it had sounded like now. 

The waiter brought his bottle and Gabriel poured himself a brimming glass of it as he reminisced. The waiter would have brought their bread by now, and it would have been Gabriel’s turn to talk. He would regale Sam with whatever he had done that week, tossing in jokes here and there to make him laugh. 

Gabriel chuckled sadly to himself as he drained his first glass of wine and poured another. How far he’d fallen in a month that he was sitting by himself drinking himself blind over a man he’d known for six months. He wondered what Sam was doing right now, if he’d found himself someone else yet or if he was just as miserable as Gabriel was. 

He wouldn’t have to wait long to find out. 

~~~~

Sam entered the restaurant, feeling the buzz of life in its walls. It wasn't crowded, never really was, but there was something still so alive about this place. His eyes scanned the room as he inhaled deeply, taking it all in. 

His breath caught in his throat when his eyes caught the head sandy hair that he had grown so familiar with. It was disheveled; not like he'd just had sex, but like he hadn't slept in a few days. There was a bottle wine sitting at the table, already mostly gone. 

Sam didn't wait for a server to take him to his seat, couldn't even process anything other than Gabriel. 

It faintly registered somewhere in the back of his mind that his eyes could be playing tricks on him, that it wasn't _really_ Gabriel. It couldn't just been one of the ghosts that had haunted him over the past month. His mind was sick and he could've very well been imagining it all. But Sam didn't care. _Couldn't_ care. The very chance that Gabriel Novak was sitting in the same place that he always sat, there for him, _waiting for him…_

“Gabriel?” He whispered once he was in earshot. 

Gabriel was halfway through his bottle when he started hallucinating. Or at least that was what he thought when he heard someone say his name. He turned to find Sam standing behind him, looking at him like he’d seen a ghost. 

There was no way Sam could be here, why would Sam be here right now? Gabriel actually got up from his seat and put his hand on Sam’s arm just to make sure he was real, and he was. Sam was standing in front of him, solid as ever, whispering his name. 

“Sammy?” he questioned, stepping back. How had this even happened? And then it hit him.

Today was Wednesday. 

Sam had come to their restaurant on Wednesday, just like he had every third Wednesday for the past six months. For their date. 

Sam took a moment to register that he was _there._ In front of him, real and breathing, flesh and blood, his hand pressed against his arm for just a single moment before sitting back down with wide eyes, looking like he’d just seen a ghost. Sam figured that he probably looked much in the same way, but he didn’t care. Gabriel was there, in front of him, alive and well. 

Sam could’ve wept for joy, but he didn’t. He just stood, staring at him, unsure what to say or do. He had hardly expected to find him here, but lord, he was glad. Gabriel had come for their date. The very thought of it had tears welling up in Sam’s eyes. 

Gabriel could only look at him, taking him all in. Sam looked miserable, just like Gabriel felt right now, like the very life had been sucked out of him. Part of him hated himself for doing this to him and part of him was happy they were feeling the same way. 

“You want to sit down, or are you just gunna stand over me while I finish this bottle of wine by myself?” 

Sam hurriedly took a seat, the table between them feeling more secure, it being the only thing that kept him from reaching over and pulling his Trickster into his chest. It took all that was in him not to pull Gabriel into his chest, just to hold him again. _God,_ he wanted to hold him again. He didn't care about sex, didn't care about getting off (something he hadn't done since last seeing the Trickster). He just wanted to pull him into his chest and hold him there. But there were people around, so he forced himself to refrain. 

He looked so tired. His hair was messy from where it had been underneath the hat that now sat on the table, but it didn't exactly look like it’d been combed in a few days as it was. His eyes were glassy from the wine, the dark bags beneath them telling stories of sleepless night after sleepless night. His skin was paler than usual, looking almost sickly…

But he was still _Gabriel._ He was still the man that Sam had fallen so hopelessly, helplessly in love with. He was still his Gabriel, still as beautiful as ever, even through the fog of the hell that the last month had been for both of them. He was still Gabriel, and he was still _his._

“Gabe…” Sam whispered. He couldn't think of any other words to speak. No point in asking how he'd been; Sam already knew. Light-hearted chit chat didn't seem appropriate… All that Sam could manage to get out was his name. 

Gabriel waved the waiter over, ordered another bottle of wine and got another glass.. He topped himself off and filled the other glass for Sam. He wasn’t going to drink alone if he had a date. 

Since it was clear Sam couldn’t yet form words, Gabriel took it upon himself to start the conversation. The wine he had consumed had loosened his tongue, if he hadn’t been drinking, he reckoned he’d be just as tongue-tied as Sam was. 

“It’s good to see you, Sam,” Gabriel started, and he wasn’t lying. He’d never been happier to see Sam than he was in that moment. He was here, he was alive and kicking, nothing had happened to him. That was all Gabriel wanted for Sam, and being away from him was how he was keeping him that way. His stomach soured, and he pushed his wine glass away. 

He wanted to say that he missed him, he wanted to pull him away from this table and drag him into the bathroom to kiss him senseless, but he restrained himself from it. There was no telling who was watching. 

“Are you waiting for someone?” 

A certain amount of tension filled the air between them, like both of them were holding back, which Sam supposed they were. He took the glass of wine between his fingers and pulled it to his lips, gulping it down in attempt to lighten the mood, but given how things had left off… 

“No. No one. It's just me.” Sam replied quickly, assuring him that there was no one else. Who else could there be? Sam couldn't imagine himself coming here with anyone else. No, this spot, this little Italian restaurant on the East Side, this was theirs. This belonged to them. 

Sam wondered if there was even a possibility that he could ever be with another man. He didn't want anyone else, wanted to find some life with Gabriel, wherever that life may be. But if things _did_ end, if Gabriel decided that he didn't want to be with him anymore, if his brothers did something to him… Sam wondered, after how madly he'd fallen in love with Gabriel, if he would ever be able to find anyone worth of taking his place.

_No,_ he decided. Gabriel was his one and only. He'd known it since that first night. The first man he'd ever loved, and perhaps the only man he ever _could_ love. He didn't want anyone else. 

“I just… It was Wednesday, and…” Sam tried to sputter out an excuse as to why he was here, but the words wouldn't come. _God, _he needed the man in front of him in his arms again. The distance between them was almost unbearable.__

__“Are you? Waiting for someone, I mean.” Sam inquired, just trying to shift the attention from him._ _

__“Nope,” Gabriel leaned back, trying to act like he didn’t want to reach across the table and pull Sam into his arms. “I… uh….I’ve been working hard, and decided to treat myself. This place has the best garlic bread in the whole city.” he explained._ _

__He was completely talking out of his ass, but what other choice did he have? How could he tell Sam he was here because it hurt too much to exist without him and he had come back here to try and capture some of the happiness they felt while they were here, while drinking? It was pathetic and sad, but then again, Sam was here too. Maybe they could be pathetic together._ _

__“It looks like you’ve been having about as rough a time as me,” he said, finally acknowledging the elephant in the room. “I… I miss you Sam,” he sighed “I miss you so much it hurts, and I’ve been running myself ragged trying to find a way for us to be together, but aside from murder and blackmail, I’ve got nothing.”_ _

__Sam was about to tell him to cut the bullshit when Gabriel opened up, and each word shattered him a little more._ _

__It felt good to get it out there, for him to tell someone what he’d been carrying alone for a month. “I spent a week so drunk I could barely stand, and every waking moment has just been a reminder of how much I miss you.” Gabriel admitted. “But you’re alive, and you’re safe, which is the only thing I want. I don’t matter in this.”_ _

__Gabriel sounded even worse than he looked, and Sam didn't know how to fix it. He wanted to scoop him up into his arms and carry him home, lock him away from the rest of the world, somewhere where no one could touch them. But he couldn't, and he didn't know what to do._ _

__“I… I can't get you out of my head, Gabe. It's like you're… You're haunting me. You're in my head and in my house and I can't get you out. I couldn't even get my ass off of the couch the first week.” Sam confessed, head hanging in his hands. “I feel like I'm going crazy without you. I know your brothers are gonna hurt me if we keep doing what we were doing, but… I don't care. I don't care, Gabe, because anything is better than this.”_ _

__Seeing ghosts in his bed that he couldn't touch, reaching out only to have him evaporate beneath his fingertips… It was a special kind of hell that Sam couldn't escape from. He didn't sleep, couldn't when those teasing whiskey eyes tormented him every time he closed his eyes. He was tortured by the demons in his head, and at this point, anything was better than that._ _

__“I don't care if they hurt me. You matter. You're the only thing that matters to me. They can torture me, they can kill me… But I can't keep going on without you. This is worse than death. I miss you too much.” Sam whispered. “I love you too much.”_ _

__Gabriel sighed. “I'm trying, Sammy,” he said, his voice cracking. “I've been trying to figure out a way that we can get together and I've come up with a grand total of two choices, neither of which I think you'll like all that much,”_ _

__He wanted to reach for his glass, but he knew if he had much more, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself. Alcohol made him horny, and he was already having trouble._ _

__“We could kill our brothers,” he said bluntly. “That would get rid if the problem all together but I don't have the stomach for it, and neither do you. Our other choice is to blackmail them, but I haven't been able to find any leverage. Michael doesn't drink, he doesn't gamble, or womanize. He doesn't do anything, and Lucifer does it all with no shame. I've got nothing. A big fat zero.”_ _

__He looked at him sadly. “I don't know where else to go, or what else to try. I'm at a dead end here, Sam.”_ _

__Sam ran his hand over his face. He knew that Gabriel was right. Running away, no matter how much Sam wanted it, wasn't plausible. Dean was stubborn, Michael and Lucifer were ruthless. They couldn't just get out and build new lives for themselves. Gabriel was right. There was no way out._ _

__He didn't register that he had slammed his fist against the table until the sound hit his eardrums._ _

__Gabriel stared at him wide-eyed. He'd never in a million years had he expected such an outburst from Sam. He'd seen nothing but his gentle side for all the months they'd been together, even when stressed. It was a bit eye-opening._ _

__Sam noticed as Gabriel shot up straight, looking visibly startled. Sam had never let this side of him show around Gabe; hell, he'd forgotten that it existed when he was around his Trickster. But frustration and misery became overwhelming and he couldn't help but let it rear its ugly head._ _

__“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not… I'm not angry at you, it isn't your fault. I just… I fucking hate this. I _fucking_ hate this.” He spat like fire. _ _

__Petty family rivalries, outdated beliefs about homosexuality… It was all so _stupid._ Stupid reasons to be kept apart. Sam picked up his glass again and finished it off before pouring himself another glass. He needed to forget about all the bullshit. _ _

__“Can't run, can't hide, _can't get out._ This is hell. This is hell.” Sam resigned, leaning back in his chair, feeling the alcohol beginning to work its magic. _ _

__“I just want you. Don't care where or how. I just want you, Gabriel.” He whispered._ _

__“I want you too, Sammy,” Gabriel assured him. “I'd do anything for you. You know I would. We just need more time, that's all. More time to figure it out. No one is perfect. They have to mess up sooner or later.”_ _

__Gabriel was saying it more to himself than to Sam. Everyone had their baggage. He just had to look harder for his brothers. Maybe he needed outside help, outside his borders._ _

__“I'll keep looking.” He told him. “We can't use the motel again… but we’ll figure something out.”_ _

__He couldn't take looking at Sam like this, so deflated and different from the man he knew. Gabriel hated himself for doing this to him. He would do anything to make it better._ _

__“I know. I know.” Sam muttered, rubbing his eyes, defeated. He let out a long sigh before finishing his second glass of wine._ _

__He was past sad, past broken-hearted. He was _pissed._ Pissed at Michael and Lucifer for fucking up an already-shitty arrangement. Pissed at Dean for not letting him go. Pissed at society for despising them for such a gentle sin. Pissed at their grandfathers’ grandfathers for starting this damn family business, for starting these rivalries. Pissed at himself for letting himself lose control of his anger. _ _

__Sam pushed it away though as his eyes found Gabriel’s. They looked sadder than he had ever seen them, even worse than the day that it had all ended, that they had forced themselves apart. It wasn't a moment of fear and misery overwhelming him, but a slowly boiling, deep-seeded sadness that had been building for some time now._ _

__Sam suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to touch him. He didn't even know how, yet. He just wanted to feel Gabe’s skin on his, wanted to taste his lips again. He couldn't out in the open, but _god_ he wanted to. Normally, they would slip away to their motel after dinner; they didn't usually spend the night on Wednesdays given their responsibilities, but it was enough to hold them over until the weekend. But now… _ _

__“The motel may be out, but there's always the bathroom. Single stall. Lock on the door. Not exactly classy, but I'll take anything at this point.” Sam suggested._ _

__Gabriel smiled genuinely for the first time in almost a month, and he chuckled as he looked at Sam. “You want to fuck me in the bathroom? Couldn't you at least buy me dinner first?” He teased, earning a grin from Sam._ _

__This was a dumb idea, an extremely dumb idea, but one he was behind completely. He'd tried to touch himself during the time they'd been apart, but it was no where near what he had become used to with Sam. But he needed this, they clearly both did._ _

__“Meet you there in 5,” he whispered, putting money down on the table to cover the two bottles of wine and his about to be uneaten dinner._ _

__He grabbed his coat and his hat and walked to the bathroom, as he would normally, leaving the door unlocked behind him. He hung his coat and hat on the back on the stall, undid his suspenders and waited for Sam, half hard in his pants already. This was what Sam did to him.  
Sam’s fingers tapped anxiously against the table, eyes on the clock, each second passing agonizingly slow. He could feel himself hardening in his slacks already, just the very idea of his lover leaving him hard. The things that man did to him. _ _

__He decided to say _fuck it_ at four minutes and twenty seconds before standing up and slipping back toward the bathroom, opening the heavy wooden door. He slipped inside and locked it behind him before turning to Gabe. He stood against the opposite wall, suspenders undone and top few buttons of his shirt undone, pants tented in the front. _Gorgeous.__ _

__He had missed this. He had missed Gabriel in every meaning of the word, but he had missed the physical aspect of it all _a lot._ Perhaps it was just because he hadn't been able to orgasm in the past month; every time he went to touch himself, his chest began to ache with how much he missed the object of his fantasies. He missed seeing him with that devilish look in his eyes, erection evident through his trousers, ready to be taken by him. _ _

__Sam made his way across the small stall in two strides before he slammed Gabe up against the wall. He'd relived moments like this over and over for the past month, and he had been growing more and more desperate for it, for him. With all that was in him, the joy, the desperation, the pain, the anger, the sadness, he pushed him up against the wall and claimed his lips in a hungry, open-mouthed kiss._ _

__Gabriel groaned as he hit the wall. He loved that Sam could manhandle him, that he was big enough to lift him off the floor. He wasted no time in kissing Sam back, pouring all the fear and sadness into the desperate kiss he planted on him._ _

__His hands were a blur of motion as they worked Sam’s pants open, and palm him through his under clothes. He wished he had the time to undress him at his leisure, but he would have to make due with the time they had, even if it meant they were only half undressed._ _

__He slipped his hands into Sam’s boxers, stroking him roughly to full hardness. Gabriel broke their kiss to drop to his knees in front of Sam, exhibiting no hesitation as he took him in his mouth. He didn't exactly carry around oil in his pocket, and he doubted they were going to find anything else suitable for lube. So spit would have to do for now._ _

__Gabriel slicked him up the best he could, trying not to groan at the taste of him. He had missed everything about Sam, including the feel of him in his mouth._ _

__“God, I missed you.”_ _

__“I missed you too.” Sam breathed before letting out a sharp gasp as Gabriel took him in his mouth, slicking him up. It wasn’t going to be as easy as it would’ve been with oil, but he didn’t have the capacity to care._ _

__Gabe’s mouth around him, his skilled tongue working around him, had him panting. His fingers tugged at Gabe’s hair, messing it up even further as he struggled to stay steady on his feet, his head thrown back in ecstasy. A few months ago, when he was still young and inexperienced, he would've spent himself in Gabe’s mouth right then and there._ _

__But Sam had done a lot of growing up in the past few months, and he wasn't a little virgin boy anymore._ _

__“Up. Turn around.” Sam growled, nudging Gabriel up against the wall._ _

__Sam tugged Gabe’s trousers and boxers off in one fell swoop, letting them pool around his ankles. He wrapped his hands around Gabe’s ass before spreading him open, exposing his hole. Sam had been in this position before, but he never quite looked so tight like this. He knew that Gabriel liked to touch himself there, that being how he normally finished whenever he pleasured himself, but he looked like he hadn't been touched there in awhile, wound tighter than usual._ _

__Sam supposed something needed to be done about that._ _

__He pressed his tongue flat against the taut ring of muscle, savoring the instinctive clench at the touch. Gabriel did this more often than Sam did, this almost always how he got Sam to relax before penetrating him, but Sam figured that he’d learned some semblance of technique in the many times they'd done this. He circled the rim with his tongue for a moment before spearing inside._ _

__Gabriel almost hit the wall as Sam rimmed him, jolting at the spike of pleasure that shot through him at the mere touch of Sam’s tongue._ _

__It had been a month at least since he touched himself and he hadn't had sex with anyone but Sam for six months. He knew he wouldn't last long, and the preparation and Sam’s forcefulness alone made it hard for him to concentrate._ _

__After a moment, Sam pulled away and coated a finger in spit, quickly pressing inside of him, intent on working him open. He ached between his legs, erection dripping pre-come and saliva onto the floor as he absently strokes himself, and wanted to waste no time. He needed to be inside of Gabriel again, needed it like he needed oxygen._ _

__“Sammy please,” Gabriel begged, his arms against the wall. He just wanted him inside him already, replacing the fingers that were diligently working him open. He needed him; they both needed this after a month of separation. He didn't care that they were in a dirty bathroom, it was better than being in his own bed alone._ _

__In the six months they'd been lovers, Sam had improved in leaps and bounds from the inexperienced boy that Gabriel first took into his bed. He knew what he was doing now, and Gabriel was trembling with anticipation over what was to come, all thought of everything else driven from his head. The only thing he could think about was Sam._ _

__“Sam _please.”__ _

__As soon as he could fit three fingers inside of him, Sam rose to his feet and pulled Gabe back around, curling his fingers tight around the smaller man’s thighs and hoisting him up without preamble. They didn’t have time for preamble or hesitation or foreplay. Someone would notice that they were gone eventually, and they couldn’t afford the extra time. Sam claimed his mouth again as Gabe’s fingers snaked between them, guiding Sam’s cock inside._ _

__He let out a moan as the head of his cock slipped inside, pressing into the tight heat. Gabe's body, tight and unyielding, clenched around him as he sunk into the hilt, cock fully sheathed inside of him. He let out a small sound at the feeling, the feeling that he had been dreaming about since their last meeting._ _

___“Fuck,_ Gabe, you're so tight.” He moaned as he thrust into him again, nails digging crescent moons into his pale skin. “Missed you so much.”_ _

__Gabriel hissed as Sam hit home. God, _it hurt,_ but he didn't care. He would worry about that later when he had to go home to his lonely bed. Right now, the only thing he was going to concentrate on was Sam. _ _

__He'd missed him so much, missed this so much. He vaguely was reminded of the first time they'd done this, in the bathroom at the Winchester estate, and Sam could barely manage. Everything had changed since then. This man had become his whole heart, and he'd become a god when it came to sex._ _

__“So big, Sam,” he moaned, pressing back against him, through the pain. “Not gunna be able to sit straight for a week.”_ _

__He writhed as Sam hit his prostate head on, sending wave after wave of pleasure through him. It was perfect torture, and he clamped a hand over his mouth to muffle another cry._ _

__Sam’s pace was brutal and after a month without touching himself, he knew he wasn't going to last very long._ _

__They were a mess again, a gorgeous desperate mess. Gabriel was half undressed, his shirt still hanging from his shoulders, Sam mostly dressed his pants still on. He almost couldn't believe it had come to this, when it had started off so promising, at least as far as secret affairs go._ _

__“Sam… I'm almost…. I'm gunna...” he babbled._ _

__“Gabriel, _god, fuck,_ please… Mark me up. Make me yours. Give me something to remember you by.” Sam begged, hips picking up speed as he bared the side of his neck for him, determined to make him come, _ _

__He couldn’t hold back any longer, his orgasm overriding every sense, sinking his teeth into Sam’s shoulder as he came._ _

__Sam’s teeth sunk into Gabriel’s shoulder in return. It wasn’t so much to mark him up, leave his body littered with bruises that he could look back at, but it was more to muffle the howl that would’ve otherwise been ripped from his throat._ _

__The rhythmic contraction of Gabe’s muscles around him drew his orgasm from him, head spinning as he filled the smaller man with his come. The pleasure was blinding, intense to a point where Sam could see flashes of white behind his eyes. His fingers squeezed tightly around Gabriel’s thighs, leaving small bruises against the pale flesh. He thrust up one last time, burying himself as deeply as he could as he let out a wrecked moan, holding tightly to his lover._ _

__They were both wrecked, filthy now. Gabriel was dripping with his seed as Sam slowly pulled out of him, cock softening between his legs. Gabe had made a mess out of both of them, sticky, white ropes of come now soiling their clothes. Their clothes were rumpled, hair even messier than what it had been going in…_ _

__But as he sat Gabriel back down, letting him back into his feet, Sam couldn’t seem to find it in him to care. He had his Gabriel back, leaning up against a dirty bathroom wall, looking blissfully fucked out… He couldn’t have asked for more than that._ _

__Sam leaned over him, forehead pressed against Gabe’s as he struggled to catch his breath. His fingertips grazed slowly down Gabriel’s arm before gripping his hand tightly, fingers laced together as they stood there. For just a moment, it was like nothing at all had changed._ _

__“God, I missed you so much.” He whispered._ _

__Gabriel pulled Sam closer, not caring about the mess between them. They were already dirty, and Gabriel wanted to hold him tightly at least once more before the night was over._ _

__He tucked his head under Sam’s chin and put his ear against his chest, listening to the reassuring pounding of his heart. “I missed you too,” Gabriel responded, his arms winding around Sam’s waist. “So much, Sam. I thought I would go crazy.” He admitted._ _

__It was a lot of him to admit weakness, it was something he only showed those he really trusted, and Sam was it. He trusted Sam with everything he was, with his body, with his heart, with his very soul. “I love you, Sam Winchester,” he said, looking up at him with a smile. “Don't you forget that. We’ll figure it out. I'll go see Crowley if I have to. He owes me.”_ _

__He didn't say for what. He and Crowley had a very complicated past and he didn't want to talk about it here, in a dirty bathroom, covered in sweat and come. That conversation could wait._ _

__“We have to move sometime…” Gabriel laughed after several minutes had passed, and even though he didn't want to, he broke away to retrieve his pants from the floor. “We should get out of here before they send in the Cavalry.”_ _

__He dressed quickly, watching as Sam righted himself as much as he was able. Gabriel’s coat hid most of the stains, though nothing could be done to hide his funny walk._ _

__Sam tried to cover the stains as best as he could, but there was really nothing to do but walk fast and avoid eye contact. Instead, he watched as Gabriel headed toward the door, chuckling to himself as he struggled to walk normally, knowing that he had done that to him. He usually walked a little crooked after sex, but this was more than usual. He felt a little guilty for hurting him, but they had both wanted this, had both needed this._ _

__Sam took a step toward him before he could open the door and leave, leave him for god knew how long. He took his hand quickly and pulled him back into his chest one last time. He wanted to savor the way that Gabe’s body seemed to mold perfectly into his, wanted to memorize the way that his hair felt between his fingers._ _

__“I love you, Gabriel Novak. I love you so damn much.” He whispered before pulling him out of his chest and meeting his eyes. “If we are confined to shitty bathrooms for now, so be it. As long as I get some time with you.” He laced his fingers through Gabriel’s before drawing his hand to his lips, pressing a small kiss against his knuckles. “Meet me at Purgatory on Friday night. It’s not a good situation, but it’s better than nothing.”_ _

__Gabriel smiled sadly. This was what they were reduced to, all because of their families. He wouldn’t refuse, he couldn’t. Gabriel had seen what the last month had done to both of them, and it wasn’t good for either of them. He’d figure something out, he had no other choice._ _

__“You got it, kiddo,” Gabriel pulled him down into a quick, chaste kiss, just one for the road before they parted for another two days. At least now, he knew when he would be seeing him again, and it would carry him through until he could._ _

__He’d double his efforts, he’d go see Crowley. He’d exhausted all other options he’d had. But Crowley was a wild card._ _

__The leader of Hell’s Family, Crowley had carved out a little side business dealing in information. He could has used it for so many reasons, but he didn’t, instead choosing to make those who wanted it, pay for it, often vast sums of money. Gabriel had money, although he couldn’t touch it without Michael knowing. He had other options, as he had known Crowley for years. It was a weird sort of relationship, had been romantic once upon a time, but nothing like he had with Sam. He’d help Crowley set up his little spy network, with the explicit caveat that it couldn’t be used against him. He didn’t doubt Crowley went back on that, but it was time to collect._ _

__Gabriel pulled away from Sam for a moment, straightening his coat and pants the best he could. “I’ll see you Friday,” He said with smirk, and he was gone._ _

__He made a beeline for the door, wincing through his pain. The less time he spent here, the less time people would have to notice the state of his clothing. He hailed a cab from the sidewalk and headed home, a singularly flame of hope kindled in his chest._ _

__

__~~~~_ _

__

__Sam waited a few moments after Gabriel left the bathroom before heading out after him, hoping to throw anyone who may have been paying attention off of their trail. He headed quickly for the door, avoiding eye-contact and hoping that he drew no attention, though not drawing attention was always a struggle, given his height and his status and all of the other things that set him apart. He just hoped people were too distracted by the other things to notice the mess of his clothes._ _

__He opted for a cab rather than walking, deciding that walking through the busy streets like this would be a bad idea. The cabbie didn’t try to make conversation, for which Sam was grateful, too caught up in his own head for chit chat. His hopes for Friday night, reliving the night’s events, trying to come up with something to tell Dean to explain where he had gone…_ _

__Sam paid the cabbie quickly when they pulled up to the compound, leaving a generous tip. He felt better than he had in weeks, satisfied with seeing his Gabriel again. Their new situation wasn’t a good one, but it was better than dealing with the ghosts that had been haunting him for the past month. Sam had made a promise in that motel room, just before it all turned to shit. It wasn’t a conditional love. Sam would love him in their motel rooms, in a home that they would make for themselves one day, and he would love him in dirty bathrooms and in back alleys. It didn’t matter where they were. As long as he had Gabriel._ _

__Sam knew that something was wrong when he opened the door._ _

__The place was trashed; not trashed like someone had thrown a house party, which Dean was known to do, not trashed like someone had forgotten to clean up for a few days, but trashed like someone had intentionally done it. At first, he wondered if someone had broken in, but nothing had been rummaged through. Things had been flung around the room, smashed and broken and destroyed. The couch that held so many ghosts and memories was now cracked in half and sitting in the kitchen._ _

__“What the hell…?” Sam muttered as he stepped inside, looking around the house until he found Dean on his knees in the living room._ _

__His eyes were dark, angry, burning in a way that Sam had never seen them before. He was splattered with blood, and Sam didn’t know who it belonged to. His knuckles were split open, blood covering his balled fists. He sat in the midst of the mess, the path of destruction circling like a hurricane, and Dean was sitting in the eye of the storm._ _

__“What… What the hell happened, Dean?” Sam sputtered out, falling to his knees in front of him._ _

__“Ellen and Jo… Those fucking Novaks… They’re… They’re dead.”_ _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 Playlist
> 
> [Part 1](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-7-part-1)
> 
> 1\. Sail - Simon Levick  
> 2\. Bloody Shirt - To Kill a King  
> 3\. Can't Pretend - Tom Odell  
> 4\. Filthy Pride - Social Repose  
> 5\. Decode - Paramore  
> 6\. Wires - The Neighbourhood  
> 7\. Breezeblocks - Alt-J  
> 8\. I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance
> 
> [Part 2](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-7-part-2)
> 
> 1\. When You Find Me - Joshua Radin  
> 2\. Let Her Go - Passenger  
> 3\. Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5  
> 4\. I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz  
> 5\. Stomach Tied in Knots - Sleeping with Sirens  
> 6\. Gone Away - Lucy Schwartz  
> 7\. The Scientist - Coldplay  
> 8\. Rescue - Seabird
> 
> [Part 3](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-7-part-3)
> 
> 1\. Fix You - Coldplay  
> 2\. All I Ask - Adele  
> 3\. Chasing Cars - Sleeping at Last  
> 4\. Never Let Me Go - Florence + the Machine  
> 5\. They Don't Know About Us - One Direction  
> 6\. As Long as You Love Me - Sleeping at Last  
> 7\. Beside You - Phildel  
> 8\. Beating Heart - Ellie Goulding  
> 9\. Love Me Tender

Gabriel arrived home to find Michael and Lucifer preparing to leave. He hadn’t been aware of any planned trips, but then again, with the state his head had been in, they could have had a circus in the foyer and he wouldn’t have been the wiser. 

The help were in a flurry packing clothes and other things in suitcases, while his brothers were in the lounge chatting amongst themselves. Gabriel knocked on the wall. “So are we taking a trip?” 

Michael, Lucifer and Castiel, who was looking green around the gills, looked up at him, as if they’d just noticed his presence. They didn’t ask where he’d been. Michael smiled up from his glass. 

“So nice of you to join us, Gabriel. I know you’ve been… busy,” he said, inviting him to sit down with them. “Luc and I have been called away, a business deal that needs immediate attention, it was just too good to refuse.” he explained. “This’ll put us on the map, little brother.” 

Gabriel cocked an eyebrow at him, as he sat in a chair to the right of Cas. “Are you gunna tell me what it is, or are you gunna make me guess?” 

Michael smiled at him again. “You’ll find out soon enough. We’ve done it for you, Gabriel. You and Cas, for the future of our family.” 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. He’d heard this speech before, he didn’t need to hear it again. “Okay, Michael. I understand. When will you be back?” 

Lucifer spoke up from his perch in the window ledge. “Next week sometime. Nothing you can’t handle.” 

“Anything you need me to do while you’re gone? Clubs need cleaning, bribes?” 

Michael shook his head. “What a dutiful brother you are. Nothing. Just business as usual.”

Gabriel nodded, and got up. “Alright, have a good trip. I’m going to shower if you don’t mind.” 

Michael waved him away, and Gabriel headed up the stairs to get cleaned up. 

~~~~

Sam froze at the realization. Ellen and Jo were dead. Ellen, the woman who had always treated him like a son, the woman who had stepped in as a mother growing up, was dead. Jo, the little blonde that he had watched grow up, the girl that he had always seen like a sister, the kid desperate to get into the family business and break any perceived roles that had been assigned to her, was dead. 

They were dead. And Gabriel had been in on it.

“What happened?” Sam choked out as soon as he could find the words to speak, as soon as his mind stopped racing with the words _‘they’re dead they’re dead they’re dead’._

“Novaks. I don’t… I don’t know. We haven’t even had any fucking interaction with them in months. We haven’t gotten in their way, they’ve stayed out of ours… I don’t… They’re looking to start a war, Sammy, and they took out two of us. The _fucking cowards_ went after the women. The most innocent out of all of us. Broke into their home and… They _executed_ them, Sammy. Shot em in the back of the head. No damn reason, just...” Dean tried to explain, voice growing angrier with every word until he could no longer contain himself, slamming a fist down on the rug beneath them. 

Sam’s heart sank in his chest, whatever happiness that had been in him draining into agony. Misery. He was caught somewhere between furious and heartbroken. The man that he loved so much, the man that he had risked everything for, had stabbed him in the back. 

Sam bit down on his lip and rose to his feet, leaving Dean in the mess behind him before trudging to his bedroom. The ghosts that had been haunting him every time he set foot inside of that room were gone now, leaving nothing but an empty bed. He tore his clothes from his body and pulled on something else, cleaning himself of whatever marks the Novak had left on him, covering the bruise on his shoulder and desperately wishing that he could get rid of it. 

With some new determination and a burning anger in his bones, he stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

 

~~~~

 

Gabriel took a long shower, sad to be washing the scent of Sam off his body. As much as he rationally knew he couldn’t go around smelling like Sam Winchester, he wished he could make it last until Friday, when he would see him again. His heart leapt at the thought, after going so long without the flicker of hope to sustain him. 

By the time he got out, Lucifer and Michael were gone, taking the Rolls Royce with them. Gabriel dried himself out carefully, lovingly noting each bruise that Sam had left. Aside from the large prominent bruise on his shoulder, there were bruises from Sam’s fingerprints on his thighs, and other various ones on his chest and torso. He treated his inner muscles with salve; he was lucky that there was no tearing from the force of their coupling. He was going to have to carry oil from now on. 

He dressed comfortably, in a soft shirt open at the neck, and black linen pants, that he reserved for lounging around the house. Sam’s necklace hung comfortably around his neck, bumping his breast bone reassuringly, as he padded downstairs for a night cap. 

Castiel was waiting for him, still looking sick, wringing his hands as he sat in front of the fire. 

“Cas, what’s wrong? What happened?” 

Castiel opened his mouth to reply, but there was a loud banging at the door. 

 

~~~~

 

Sam had never been at the Novak compound before, Gabriel always keeping him far away from it, even when Michael and Lucifer were out on business. But the burning focus on the door kept him from focusing on anything else. He didn’t have time to wonder if Gabriel had ever played in the yard with his brothers as a child, didn’t have time to wonder which window belonged to his bedroom, didn’t have the capacity to care about any of it. His focus was sharp on the door. 

He slammed his fist against it with so much force that he was afraid that he might tear it off of the hinges, the wood vibrating beneath his hand before he raised it up to slam against it again. 

He could faintly hear shuffling behind the door, the sound of footsteps and muttered curses before he heard the click of the door unlocking and the jiggle of the handle as it was pulled open. 

Gabriel opened the door to find Sam standing there, looking more angry than Gabriel had ever seen him. He looked murderous, like he wanted to cut Gabriel down where he stood. His fists were clenched at his sides, his nostrils flared with anger. He was terrifying, and Gabriel felt a stirring of fear in the pit of his stomach. 

Gabriel stood in front of Sam, hair damp, clad in pajamas, like he was about to go to bed. Normally, Sam would’ve found this endearing, would’ve wanted to scoop him up in his arms and carry him to bed, lay there with him, perhaps strip him of those clothes before the night was over. But he was too blinded by rage to care. 

“You son of a bitch.” He growled, voice like gravel, it taking everything within him not to slam the smaller man against the wall, though it wasn’t a desire driven by lust, but fury. He wanted to burn the compound to the ground for what they did to Ellen and Jo. But he refrained, knowing that he could never actually hurt Gabriel. 

“Uh h-hey Sam,” He responded, confused to what had bright the change in him. He'd been so happy when he saw him an hour ago. “What brings you here?” 

Castiel was behind him, and Gabriel felt his brothers reassuring presence. Castiel was bigger than Gabriel by a lot, although not quite as big as Sam. 

Something was wrong. He could feel it in the air, from the way Michael and Lucifer had left, the sickness in Cas’ face. His brothers had gone ahem that final step. 

Gabriel felt queasy. His brothers had done something to Sam, and Sam thought he was in on it. 

Sam couldn’t identify any of the expressions on Gabriel’s face, rather blinded by his own thoughts, his own anger, his own fury. He took a step inside, backing the smaller man up against the wall opposite of him, slowly creeping forward. 

He couldn’t even think of the words to speak, his mind running so quickly that it was hard to think of anything that encompassed the anger and the hurt that he felt. 

He had opened himself up to Gabriel Novak, had fallen in love so fast and so hard that he couldn’t have seen it if he tried. He was so blinded by love that he had forgotten what Gabriel was. He was a mobster through and through, and he was a monster just like his brothers. 

“Cut the bullshit, Gabriel. You _fucking_ traitor. I trusted you. They were my _family,_ you fucking bastard. They were women, they were innocent… They did _nothing_ to you… How _could_ you?” Sam hissed, voice barely above a whisper.

Gabriel could even process where he was, and he startled when he hit the wall. He was trapped and there was no way he was getting away. He had never been more aware than in that moment just how much bigger Sam was than him, six foot four and topping 200 pounds of anger. 

The pieces clicked together in his head, what Sam said to him, the flight of his brothers, Cas… they'd done something to Ellen and Jo. It had to be. 

“I would never…. Sam please...I'm sorr- I wouldn't Sam… I wouldn't hurt anyone…”

_Lies._ They had to be lies. It had all been lies. 

All of it. All of their late night conversations, all of their confessions of love, every shared embrace… They had all been lies. 

Sam supposed that he should’ve seen it coming. The Novaks had been wanting to start war with the Winchesters for years now, itching for a reason to strike. Gabriel had simply been their way inside. 

Gabriel scrambled for words, his heart racing inside his chest. Sam could hurt him, Sam could kill him and he'd be completely within his rights. His brothers had gone after Sam’s family because of him. This wasn't a coincidence. 

“Just do it quickly, okay?” Gabriel whispered with resignation. “I'm sorry.” 

Sam couldn’t hurt him. He couldn’t hurt the man that he loved, no matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much he wanted to make him feel the fear and the pain that Ellen and Jo must’ve felt in their last moments, he couldn’t do it. 

Instead, he reached up and grasped the small golden pendant around his neck between his fingers. It had been a promise to him, a gesture saying that they were supposed to be family… But this was what he got for turning his back on his own family. His real family. He curled the chain tight in his fingers and yanked. 

“You’re not my family. You’re not shit. _They_ were my family.” He growled. “Fuck you.” 

Eyes narrowing into a glare that could kill, he balled the pendant in his fist. His nostrils flared and he struggled to contain himself, though he wasn’t quite sure what he’d do if he let go. Reaching down and twisting the silver ring that had stayed on his little finger since that day in the motel, he took a step back and tossed it at Gabriel’s feet in front of him. “And here’s your damn ring back too.” 

Gabriel felt the snap of the chain against his neck like a gunshot, rippling through him as Sam took the only thing that had given him any comfort during their separation. It tore him from his sadness, letting loose the fury inside him. 

“Sam, I would never hurt them, ever.” Gabriel spat back, fighting the tears. It seemed he had been just as wrong about Sam as Sam thought he was about him. The fact that he believed that Gabriel was capable of killing anyone…

Anger mixed with the fear and misery and welled up inside him and he couldn’t contain it. “After everything, how could you believe that, Sam? I’m sorry about Ellen and Jo, I truly am, but it wasn’t me. I didn’t know anything about it. That’s not my role here. If someone is responsible, it’s my brothers. I tried….I tried to warn you about what they were capable of.” he yelled. “I didn’t hurt them, it wasn’t me…” 

He felt raw inside, like the hope he’d been drunk on had been ripped out of him by Sam’s bare hands. It left him hollow and scrapped, angry and absolute, in the face of Sam’s accusations. Whatever they had gained today was lost in that moment, shattered like an old vase on a ceramic floor, gone and swept into the garbage. There would be nothing left, and they could go back to being what they truly were all alone, what they’d been trying to mask with sex and kisses, enemies. 

They would never be anything more than enemies. 

Sam’s hands clenched into tight fists with each word of protest, with each lie on his tongue. Suddenly, without warning, it all erupted and pulled back his fist, slamming it into the wall next to his head. 

The wall cracked and dented beneath the force of his punch as he drew in closer to his face, letting out a low hiss. The only time that he was ever this close to Gabriel’s face was during sex, but this couldn’t be further from it. This was no act of love, no act of the two of them becoming one… This was war. 

“And why the _hell_ should I believe a damn word that you say?” Sam growled. “How do I know that you weren’t playing me this entire time? How do I know that this wasn’t all an act? That you weren’t just… That you weren’t making me fall in love with you, just so that you could do _this?_ How do I know that you ever loved me in the first place?”

Each word he spoke broke through the anger a little bit more, flooding him with an intense feeling of despair that he’d only felt once. On that motel floor, watching Gabriel walk out and leave for the next month, sobbing as the thunder rolled overhead. It wasn’t just rage anymore, but sadness for love lost. Grieving for the love that he thought he’d had, grieving for the death of the man that he thought he knew. 

Gabriel flinched as the wall next to his head exploded under the force of Sam’s fist. He’d never seen Sam like this, never seen the man who stood before him wearing the face of his lover. He half-wished Sam would just hit him and end it. 

“Because if it was just about started a war, I would have slit your throat when you were sleeping the first night I was at your place. There was no one there. It would have been so easy. If it were just about that, I wouldn’t have wasted my time teaching you how to make love like a real man,” Gabriel hissed at him. He was being cruel but he didn’t care. Sam had accused him of murder, had accused him of using him. He had no claim on Gabriel’s kindness any longer. 

“If that was all that this was about, Samuel, I could have left Lucifer in to the motel and let him finish you then. Wouldn’t have even had to get my hands dirty. I could have killed you so many ways, if that’s what this was about.” 

He stood up straight, his back strengthened by anger. His chest puffed out in his rage, his face almost touching Sam’s. “You made a mistake coming here, Winchester. I bet Dean doesn’t even know you’re here, does he? Doesn’t know where his precious little brother has gotten off to. Spent months not knowing his brother was playing the whore for a Novak.” he snarled at him, letting his temper get the better of him. 

He regretted the words almost as soon as he said them, but he couldn’t take them back, couldn’t stop the next ones. 

“You never loved me, Sam. You loved the idea of me, of rebelling, or running away. It was never about me,” his voice had lost its steam now, fading into a weariness. “I was just your way out.” 

He pushed away from him, holding open the door. 

“Go home, Sam, before you make me do something I'll regret.” 

Sam felt sick. He stood for a long moment, staring at the open door, staring at the man holding it, trying to hold back tears. He didn't know what truth Gabriel’s words held; if he was trying to hold his cover, if he really meant all of the nasty things he said… Sam supposed that he was no better, but… 

On shaking legs, he took a tentative step toward the door, letting a tear slip from his eyes. He hated showing weakness like this, but who could blame him? He'd lost the woman who had helped raise him, the girl he had seen like his sister, and the man that he had loved so dearly. He sucked in a deep breath as he struggled to breathe, standing in the doorway before turning back toward the Trickster. 

“It was never about rebellion. It was never about a way out. I love you. Period.” He whispered, voice coming out weak and defeated. 

He turned away and stepped out onto the porch, letting the door slam behind him. 

 

~~~~

 

Gabriel finally felt like he could breathe again as Sam slammed the door, although the suffocating feeling he had been experiencing had been replaced by overwhelming nausea. He fought the urge to curl up and vomit right there in the foyer, and walked into the living room, sinking down on the couch with shaking legs. 

Castiel, who had been unfortunate enough to have witnessed and heard everything, sat down next to him and put a comforting arm over his shoulder. 

“Is this why you looked so sick before?” Gabriel asked, looking at his brother. 

Castiel nodded, leaning on Gabriel’s shoulder. “They were talking about it before you got home, I tried to tell you but then…” 

“Then Sam came.” Gabriel finished his sentence. “It was never going to work out. I don’t know what I was thinking.” he scrubbed his face with his hands, trying to fight off the urge to cry. He wouldn’t cry in front of Cas. 

This was by far one of the most messed up things that his brothers had ever pulled. If they just wanted to start a war, they could have killed Sam, or Dean, but this was something else. They were punishing him for falling in love with Sam, for forsaking his family to fall into bed with the enemy. They turned Sam against him, knowing that he would take his anger out on Gabriel. He hadn’t killed them, but their blood was on his hands. This was all his fault. 

He’d killed them with his selfishness, his need to keep Sam in his life. He cursed the day he’d ever seen Sam Winchester, cursed himself for allowing this to happen. 

He had said so many cruel things to Sam, so many things that weren’t true. He knew he should leave him alone. Sam wouldn’t want to see him anyway, not after all the things he said to him. But Gabriel wanted him to warn him. 

There was a strong feeling that Michael and Lucifer wouldn’t stop there. Ellen and Jo had just been to set them off their game, to make them more vulnerable. It was only the starting shot. 

Sam probably wouldn’t let him in, but Gabriel had to try. 

He got up from the couch with a start, and grabbed a set of keys off the hanger. He was going to the Winchester Estate. 

 

~~~~

 

The house was eerily quiet when he stepped inside, feeling perhaps more defeated than he'd ever felt in his life. Tears wouldn't come any longer, though he wasn't even sure that he wanted to cry. He had a hollow ache in his bones; it wasn't sadness, not anger… Just… Empty. 

He vaguely acknowledged the note that had been taped to his bedroom door, a scribbled note from Dean about how he was going to go stay with Bobby for a few days, that he wasn't sure when he would be home. He tore the paper off of the door and crumpled it up, tossing it aside as he pushed the door open, kicking off his shoes and falling onto the bed. 

He absentmindedly went to touch the silver band that he'd worn around his finger for the past month. When he got to feeling like this, like hell itself was descending upon him, that battered ring had brought some comfort, but it was gone now. It was gone and Gabriel didn't love him and he was alone. 

He had no one. The people who had always been there, his family… They were dead. And the man that he had become like family was gone. The man he'd loved so much despised him. 

That was when the hollowness turned to pain. A lump formed in his throat as he remembered their first time on this bed. Sam had begged for Gabriel to prove it to him, prove that this was real. And he'd done just that, making love to him over and over in those sheets, confessions of want and desire, promises that he would stay by his side… Sam had believed every word. 

He let out a ragged sob as he gripped at the sheets, burying his face into them as he inhaled deeply, searching for any lingering scent of him that may have survived all of these months. But there was nothing. It was as if Gabriel Novak had never in this bed. 

 

~~~~

 

Gabriel almost turned around three times in the time it took him to drive across the city to the West quadrant that was the Winchesters’ territory. He’d only been here once, only the weekend he’d spent in Sam’s bed. They hadn’t gone farther than the kitchen that entire stretch, making love over and over until they collapsed in exhaustion. 

He’d been so infatuated then, so obsessed he’d been willing to ignore the consequences he knew would come from their little stolen slide of happiness. He had always known it would catch up with them, but he allowed Sam’s talk of hope and freedom to cloud his better judgement. 

This was why he didn’t keep lovers, he didn’t deserve to be happy. He was only fooling himself that he could be happy like everyone else. Gabriel had his family and there was no room for anything else. It had never worked out before, it hadn’t worked with Sam, it wasn't going to work in the future. He just had to live with that. He would get Sam out of the city, to safety, and then he would slink back to the hole that Sam clearly thought he belonged in. 

It hurt more than anything that Sam would think he would use him like that, that Sam thought he would sell his body just to get one over on him. That he was capable of murdering someone’s family, and getting into bed with them only a couple hours later. How did they come back from that?

He pulled up slowly in the Winchesters’ driveway and killed the engine. Taking a deep breathe, he got out of the car and walked stiffly up the walkway until he got to the door. 

He rang the bell, and waited. 

 

~~~~

 

The doorbell echoed through the empty walls. Sam debated as to whether or not he should even bother with going downstairs. He opted against it, doubting that he had the strength to walk all the way downstairs. He hoped that whoever it was would just walk away, realize that this house was dead, that no one was home, its only occupant being a dead man. 

When the bell rang again, he forced himself from the bed, wiping his tears and stepping toward the window. He felt weak, barely strong enough to stand, but he forced himself up, opening the window and peering outside. 

Gabriel Novak stood on his porch. 

Sam’s breath caught in his throat. He didn't speak, wasn't sure what to say to him. Sam was sure he was only here for a second helping, perhaps there to tell him what a dirty, worthless whore he truly was. 

Gabriel rang the doorbell again and waited, but no one came to the door. Maybe Sam hadn’t come home after all, maybe he’d gone out to get drunk, to find another lover who wouldn’t get people he loved killed. Gabriel wouldn’t have blamed him, Sam deserved to be happy. 

The Winchester bit down on his lip and watched as Gabe pivoted on a heel, letting out an exasperated sigh before turning to walk away. 

“Wait!” Sam called before he could process the fact that he'd even opened his mouth. 

Gabriel turned and looked upward, seeing Sam in the upstairs window. He looked somewhat deflated since Gabriel had seen him last, as if all the fight had gone out of him the minute he’d left Gabriel’s sight. His face was red and blotchy as if he’d been crying, his hair an absolute wreck. 

“You gunna come down or are you gunna make me yell my apology to the neighborhood?” he called towards him, hands on his hips. His heart pulled towards Sam, the pathetic picture he painted in the window, and he shook himself. He’d come to warn him, and say he was sorry, nothing more. 

Sam disappeared from the upstairs window and Gabriel could faintly hear him ruffling around inside the house. He appeared in the doorway a couple minutes later, his face pink from being scrubbed, his hair looking as if Sam had just finished running a comb through it. 

Gabriel had never seen him dressed like this, so informally, in a worn pair of slacks and plain shirt. He vaguely wondered if Sam had already burned the clothes that were covered in the evidence of their afternoon activities. 

“I understand if you don’t want me to come in,” Gabriel started, not quite meeting his eyes, his gaze hovering somewhere around his chin. “I just came to warn you.” 

Sam stared at him, half dumbfounded. He wasn't sure _what_ he'd expected, not exactly. Some sliver of him had hoped that he'd beg for forgiveness so that Sam could do the same and they could find their way back to how it had once been, but a _warning…_

He let out a sigh and took a step back. He didn't care what Gabriel had to say; he was just glad that he was there. It was bittersweet, but Gabriel’s very presence was a comfort to him. He knew that it shouldn't be, and Gabriel could've very well been there to kill him, but Sam didn't care anymore. 

“Get your ass in here before someone sees you.” Sam mumbled, gesturing him inside. “Sorry for the mess. Dean trashed the place. He's got some… Issues.” 

Gabriel took the scene in around him. Everything that he’d come to associate with the Winchester house was gone, in splinters on the floor. He did not want to be on the receiving end of Dean Winchester's temper. 

He tried not to look to long at any one piece of furniture, willing himself not to remember how Sam had taken him on what, or what he’d bent Sam over. This was already hard enough as it was without fighting a boner. 

Sam led the way to the bottom of the stairs. The couch and chairs had all been obliterated, Sam not even sure how Dean had managed. He took a seat on the bottom step before turning back toward Gabriel. 

“Warn me about what?” He sighed, exasperated. 

“My brothers,” Gabriel told him. “This wasn’t just to punish me, this was them trying to get you off kilter for something bigger they have planned. You need to leave the city as soon as you can.” 

He wasn’t going to sugar coat it, not after Sam had punched a hole in his wall. He was going to tell him what he need to and get out. Sam didn’t want to see him, he was surprised he even let him if after the things Gabriel had said to him. 

“It would never be that easy. They’re trying to get under your skin, trying to make you angry so you don’t see what their true intentions are. They’ve gone out of town, very suddenly, didn’t leave their itinerary, which they normally do. Something is up, and you and Dean need to get out before something else happens.” He blurted out. 

Sam didn't care about Michael. Didn't care about Lucifer. Didn't care about any of it. They could take everything he had and burn it to the ground, could tie him up and torture him, he didn't care. He cared about Gabriel. 

“I’ll be going now.” Gabriel blurted out quickly.

_“Wait.”_ Sam spat out as Gabriel stood and started toward the door. 

Gabe froze halfway to the door, standing still but not turning back. Sam slowly rose to his feet, taking a step toward him. He didn't know what he was planning on doing or saying, couldn't think straight enough to, the only word coming to mind being _‘stay’._

“Don't go yet… I…” Sam sputtered out. 

He didn't know what to say. Didn't know where to even start. There were so many things that he wanted to tell him, but none of them came to mind. He supposed an apology was a good place to start. 

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry I accused you. I didn't know what I was supposed to think. I didn't… I knew that your brothers… I just… I'm sorry. I should've trusted you, I just didn't know what to think. They were family, Gabe.” He sputtered out, voice shaking with each word. 

Gabriel knew he shouldn't turn around, should keep walking, but he couldn’t. Despite everything, he still loved Sam and he was hurting. 

“You could have asked me,” Gabriel replied, turning to face him. “You could have allowed me to explain. I’m sorry about Ellen and Jo, Sam. Truly sorry. I know how much you loved them. I would have never done anything to hurt them.” 

Gabriel finally looked up at him, looked into the eyes he loved so much. “I’m sorry … for everything I said, I didn’t mean any of it. I was cruel, and I was angry, and hurt. I had no right to say any of those things.” he raked a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry, Sam.” 

He wanted to hold Sam, but he didn’t know how to bridge the gap between them. It wasn’t exactly easy to go back after your boyfriend accused you of murdering his family and you called him a whore. 

“I’ve never been happier than when we were together, that’s the truth.” 

Sam was already choking back tears, feeling weak and despising himself for it. He'd been taught all his life to never show weakness, but Gabriel pushed him to that point. Gabriel was the only one who could bring him to his knees, the only one who could break him like this, the only one he had ever been truly vulnerable to. 

“I… I was never really alive til I met you, Gabe. You were the first person who ever made me feel alive. You… You’re the reason there's air in my lungs.” Sam whispered. “You're everything to me, Gabriel.” 

He wanted to reach out, take him by the hand, pull him close again. He wanted to cleave tightly to him, hold him in the midst of all of this rubble like they were in the eye of the storm. But he wasn't quite sure where to start. He didn't know if Gabe would pull away if he reached out, and he wasn't quite sure that he could handle the rejection. 

“I hate living without you. And… I fucked up. I shouldn't have… I shouldn't have assumed that you killed them. I know you. I know you couldn't have done that. And I am so sorry.” His voice came out weak and whimpery when he spoke. “Is… Is there any way that we could just… Start over? Just… Take us back to that Wednesday, when it all started. When I brought you home for the first time. Before all of this.” He begged. 

Gabriel took a step forward. He hated when Sam sounded like that, it made his heart break into little pieces to hear the man he loved sad. 

“You still have to leave, Sam,” Gabriel said, reaching out to sweep a piece of hair off Sam’s face and over his ear. “Even if we do start over, you’re still in danger. My brothers did this to punish me, to turn you against me. You’re in danger just by being near me at all. They’re planning something. I know they are,” 

Gabriel took another step, closing the gap between them, wrapping his arms around Sam’s shoulders and taking a shuddering breath. The gravity of what had happened hit him all at once, and he folded into Sam’s arms, taking in every ounce of his comforting warmth. 

“I love you, Sammy,” he whispered. “Nothing will ever change that. But you need to go. Please. At least until I can get them out of the way. I can’t have you be in danger.” 

Sam clung tight to him, holding him tighter than he'd ever held him. He didn't want to run away, not by himself, not without Gabriel. He had dreamed of escaping so many times, but only with Gabriel by his side. Any other way felt wrong. 

“Come with me. They'll find me if I go on my own. I've never been out of the city on my own, and I don't have anywhere I could go… We could disappear together. You and me.” He whispered, pleading, begging him. He didn't want to go on his own. He wasn't strong enough. “Dean, your brothers… Someone would pull me right back in. You're smarter than I am when it comes to this stuff. They… We’ll just run. Where they’ll never find us, we’ll just go…” 

He knew Gabriel’s answer already. No matter where they ran, Dean, or Michael, or Lucifer… No matter where they ran off to, someone would find them. 

But if there was one thing he knew, he knew that there was no way in hell he would make it out there alone. Foreign lands, all alone… Sam couldn't do it. He couldn't leave. Not without Gabriel. 

“I can't leave without you.” He whispered. 

“It wouldn’t be forever,” Gabriel argued lightly, his hand creeping up under Sam’s shirt to touch the softness of his skin. “And Dean would be going with you. The whole clan, everyone. Until I can figure out what their plan is. Until I can keep you all safe. It wouldn’t take long. I’ll go talk to Crowley as soon as I can. He has to have something.” 

He didn’t even know Dean, or any of the other members of Sam’s family, but he had to save all of them. He wouldn’t let them be a target in Lucifer’s crosshairs because of him. He wouldn’t let Ellen and Jo’s deaths be in vain. 

“I’ll bring them down, Sam. I won’t let them hurt anyone anymore,” He’d had enough. It was one thing to take out someone who meant his family harm, but Ellen and Jo hadn’t done anything to anyone. Their only sin was knowing Sam, and Sam being involved with Gabriel. “I can’t concentrate when I have to worry about you.”

Just because Gabriel was smaller and more jovial than his brothers, people always seemed to count him out of the game, to their determent. Gabriel wasn't’ stringent about the lines drawn in the sand between the families and he made sure he had allies in all four quadrants. He could call in all his sources, including his ace in the hole, Crowley, and bury his brothers. 

“Please Sam. Tomorrow, you, Dean, Bobby, whoever you can round up. Go on vacation, just go somewhere that isn’t here,” he begged.

Sam bit down on his lip and nodded hard. He didn't want to leave Gabriel on his own to battle it out with his brothers, especially not when all of this was Sam’s fault in the first place. But Gabriel was begging him to leave, and Sam couldn't deny him that. 

Eyes clenched tight and lips pressed against Gabriel’s neck, he wondered if he'd ever get to hold his Trickster like this again. He wondered if Gabriel could survive against Michael and Lucifer, knowing their track records. He knew that Gabe loved his brothers, no matter how badly he wanted to hate them, and Sam wondered if he'd be able to end it all when push came to shove. 

He pushed his worries aside. When the sun rose, he would have no choice but to run. But for the night, he still had his Gabriel. 

“Spend the night with me. I don't care if we have sex or not, I just… I want you in my bed one last time. I just want to fall asleep and wake up next you you one more time.” He whispered. 

It was always harder to sleep without Gabriel’s body pressed against him, tucked in the crook of his arm, head pressed against his chest… God only knew how long it would be before he could sleep next to him like that again. He just needed one more night. 

Finally Gabriel cracked a smile. “If you think I’m going to be able to keep my hands to myself tonight, you’d be wrong, Samuel Winchester,” He teased lightly, trying to work a smile out of Sam. “Besides, just being in this house is giving me flashbacks. It’s kind of hard to concentrate if you know what I’m getting at,” 

He cast an appreciative glance over the couch, then the stairs, trailing over towards the kitchen. They had certainly been busy that week, busy enjoying each other’s bodies over every flat surface in the house. He distinctly remembered giving Sam a blowjob in the living room that ended in Sam bent over the stair bannister, remembered making use of every condiment in the fridge on the kitchen counter, coming hard against the cherry wood of the cabinets. 

Gabriel was sure Sam remembered them too, if the flush that had spread over his cheeks was anything to go by. 

Sam smiled a crooked smile, feeling the creeping blush against his skin as the front of his trousers began to fill out, erection filling between his legs. He had hoped that Gabriel might say that. 

He pulled Sam close again, leaning up to kiss the sensitive spot directly below Sam’s ear. They’d enjoyed each other only a couple hours earlier, but suddenly he was ravenous for him. 

He was so caught up, he forgot that his car was in plain sight in the driveway. 

With a crooked smile, Sam took Gabriel by the hand and tugged him up the stairs. Sex downstairs wasn't plausible given the wreckage of Dean’s rampage, but Sam’s room had been left perfectly intact. And despite the mess of dirty clothes on his floor and the dried tear stains on his pillow, it was perfectly acceptable for sex. 

Kicking open the door with the heel of his foot, he pulled Gabriel inside and tugged him toward the bed. He wanted to be taken by Gabriel this time, wanted him to make love to him properly. He didn't want it as fast and rough as it usually was, didn't want the brutal pace Gabe usually set. It always felt good when he did it, but he wanted it to last as long as possible, wanted to feel him moving inside of him for as long as either of them could stand it. 

Tossing himself back onto the bed, Sam scooted back toward the nightstand and pulled out a small vial of oil, nicer than the cheap stuff that they usually bought at the convenient store. He'd made the investment a few weeks earlier, having hoped to invite him over for another long weekend together soon. That was unlikely now, but at least it wouldn't be going to waste. 

Sam felt his cock twitching between his legs as Gabe climbed over top of him, straddling his waist. Sam reached up and balled his fists around the shirt that Gabe was wearing, tugging him down and pulling him into a heavy, open-mouthed kiss. 

Gabriel allowed Sam to take the lead, and he smiled into the kiss, giving as much as he was getting. He would make tonight memorable, sear it into his mind so he knew what he was fighting for. He didn’t know if he was going to survive through it but he was glad, if that was the case, that Sam was the last person he would love. 

He tugged his shirt off over his head, wanting to be skin to skin with Sam. Sam’s came next until he was naked from the waist up, and Gabriel covered him with his own body, pressing their chests together as he kissed him slowly, licking in and out of his mouth. Tonight, he wasn't in any rush. He was going to enjoy Sam properly, like he’d always meant to. He was going to worship every inch of his body like he deserved. 

Gabriel kissed down Sam’s neck, stopping to suck another bruise over the bruise that was already there from before. He pressed feather kisses down his chest, taking one of Sam’s nipples between his teeth. He nipped at it, making sure to soothe the hurt with the flat of his tongue. Underneath him, Sam moaned deeply, fisting at the sheets around him. Gabriel repeated the treatment on the opposite nipple, earning another round of groans from his lover. 

He moved down, licking and kissing at the flat plane of his stomach, leaving a trail of bruises. Gabriel dipped his tongue around Sam’s naval, coasting lower to worship the sensitive patch of skin just above his waistband. Below it, Gabriel could feel Sam’s hardness, the heat of him radiating through the thin fabric of his pants. Smirking up at Sam, Gabriel mouthed him through his pants, gently and carefully nipping at the head of his cock. 

His fingers looped into his waistband, inching the fabric slowly down Sam’s hips. 

Sam struggled to still himself, so used to taking everything fast that Gabriel’s lips pressing all the way down every inch of exposed flesh had him squirming. Gabriel mouthing at his erection through his pants drew a sharp whine from his lips as he threaded his fingers through Gabe’s hair and tugged. He didn't tug hard, not pulling hard enough to hurt him, but just enough to show some form of appreciation. It was _so good,_ even such simple stimulation through two layers of clothes… 

_Magnificent._

Gabe’s fingers slowly tugged off his slacks, moving agonizingly slow until his cock was freed of its confines, before sliding them the rest of the way off of his thighs, leaving him entirely bare. Sam had always associated some amount of shame with his naked form, had always considered himself too tall, his days as a gawky teenager leaving the impression that he was still the awkward, lanky kid that he had once been. But with Gabriel, he hadn't had a single insecurity. It felt more natural being out of clothes than in them, perhaps like Adam and Eve may have once been. 

Sam let out a small cry as Gabriel took the head of his cock between his lips, giving a small suck before swiping his tongue over the slit of his weeping cock.

Gabriel sent slowly, savoring the sense of everything, how Sam tasted, the feel of him in his mouth, the sounds he was making in response. He wanted to remember every single piece. 

He took the oil from where Sam had left it on the bed, and poured some onto his fingers. He warmed it and traced Sam’s hole lightly with one slick digit. 

It had been a while, and Gabriel was determined to open Sam up right, gently pushing inside up to the first knuckle. He worked it back and forth slowly, adding oil when he needed to until one full finger was sunk inside him. 

Above him, Sam had thrown his head back, his eyes trained intently on Gabriel, and where his finger was disappearing into Sam’s body. He added a second finger and more oil, spreading his fingers to stretch him out. He was careful not to hit Sam’s prostate, determined not to rile him up anymore. He wanted him to last as long as he could. 

Finally, he slipped in a third finger, wiggling them gingerly, trying to make sure that Sam wouldn't experience the pain of earlier. 

Sam had missed this, missed the feeling of Gabriel’s fingers working inside of him. His back arched slightly, rolling back against him. His eyes rolled back at the feeling of it, the sensation pleasant but not overwhelmingly so. He hoped to memorize the feeling of Gabriel’s fingers working inside of him, to memorize each kiss and touch tonight. He wanted to remember all of it. 

“I love you so much, Gabe.” Sam whispered, voice just barely put together. 

 

“Love you too, Sammy,” Gabriel responded “more than you will ever know.” 

Sam let out a short howl as Gabriel struck against his prostate, striking against the sweet spot and sending ripples through him, pleasure washing over him. His toes curled tightly and his back arched sharply, head thrown back as his hands balled into fists around the sheets. 

“Oh, _God,_ Gabriel, _please…”_ He moaned as Gabe’s fingers pressed insistently against his prostate. It didn't last long, nor did Sam want it to, knowing that Gabe’s skilled fingers massaging against the sensitive bundle of nerves within him would send him tumbling over the edge far sooner than he would've wanted. 

Sam leaned forward as Gabe’s fingers slipped out of him, pulling the smaller man up to him as he captured his lips again. He savored the taste of him on his lips, the familiar taste nearly forgotten in their month apart. He let out a small, contented sigh, smiling against his lips. Their quick fuck in the bathroom hadn't offered this sort of intimacy, this time to savor the way he tasted. 

He could've died a happy man right then. The sex hardly even mattered with this level of closeness. They'd never taken it as slow as this, had never truly taken the time to admire their conjoinment, the way their bodies moved together. They had never taken their time, and Sam found this to be infinitely more intimate than anything that had come before. 

“Out of these.” Sam chuckled as he snaked his fingers down between them, tugging down Gabe's pants. Sam watched as Gabriel wriggled free of them, kicking them to the side, leaving them both bare and vulnerable to each other. And yet, Sam had never felt more right, despite his vulnerability to Gabriel. As if his weakness to this man had made him stronger. 

Sam reached between them and curled his fingers around Gabe’s length, guiding him toward his rim. 

Gabriel crawled onto the bed, in between Sam’s open thighs. They'd never done it like this, with no heat, or urgency, just the closeness between them. Gabriel took the time to add more oil to his cock, before he straddled Sam, the top of him pressing against Sam’s entrance. 

He kissed Sam hard, as he pushed inside him, hissing at the tightness. It almost felt the the first time, the night he took Sam's virginity on the couch downstairs. He inched slowly forward until he was completely seated inside of him. 

Gabriel stilled for a moment, watching Sam’s face for any sign of discomfort. Even though he was still hurting from their earlier coupling, Gabriel wanted to make sure Sam was alright. He peppered his face with kisses as he waited for him to adjust, memorizing his face through his lips. 

“You're perfect,” Gabriel told him as he started to move, slow, purposeful thrusts inside him. “Gorgeous, wonderful,” his lips never strayed far from Sam’s face. “I love you. I love you.” 

This bed held so many memories, of nights spent together, and Gabriel never wanted to leave it, wanted to stay here, with Sam, forever. 

Sam’s fingers curled around either side of Gabriel’s face, hoping to memorize the way that he felt beneath his fingertips. He couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes away from his Trickster’s, not wanting to miss a single second of this, knowing that this could very well be their last night together. If something happened to the man that he had grown to love so much, Sam wanted this to be how he remembered him. He wanted to be able to carry this memory with him until his dying days; when he was old and gray and couldn’t remember his own name, he wanted to remember the first man that he had ever loved.

Sam moaned as Gabriel slowly pressed into him again, pressing up against his prostate. He could hardly breathe, but he didn’t care, liking the breathless feeling that filled him as Gabe settled at the hilt for a moment, giving him just a moment to readjust to the feeling. Sam pulled him down, pressing his lips against Gabriel’s as the smaller man began to move inside of him again.

“I love you so much, Gabriel.” Sam whispered, voice trembling as Gabe thrust into him again, drawing a small moan from his lips. 

Gabe’s hands were planted on either side of Sam’s head, steadying himself. Sam reached up with one hand and slipped his fingers beneath Gabriel’s, fingers lacing tightly. Sam held his hand like an anchor, holding on like it was the only thing keeping him from floating away. Sam ran his thumb over all of the familiar scars, scars that Sam had memorized and come to love, knowing that Gabriel was just as beaten and battered as he was. 

Gabriel squeezed Sam’s hand, moving hard inside of him. His pace was slow, lazy even, but each thrust sent spikes of pleasure over his body. He aimed his strokes so he was just grazing Sam’s prostate, savoring each and every moan the action drew from Sam’s lips. 

As much as Gabriel loved receiving, watching Sam’s face as he moved inside of him was a guilty pleasure. He loved how easily a big man like Sam gave over control to him, how readily he took his cock. He only hoped he gave Sam as much pleasure as he received when Sam was inside of him. He knew he wasn’t as big, but he liked to think he made up for it in technique. 

Gabriel snaked a hand between them, and took Sam’s cock, giving it a rough stroke in time with his movements. He looked into Sam’s eyes when he did so, the intensity almost too much for him. 

He’d never made love like this before, never with this much feeling behind it. He’d never loved like this either, never willing to give his life for anyone else, except Sam. Sam was different, and if he had to die to protect him, he knew in that moment he would do it happily. 

“You're mine,” he told him, bending to kiss him, his hips stuttering now. “And I’m yours, always.” 

Sam squeezed tighter to Gabriel’s hand as his eyes darted down between them, mesmerized by the sight of Gabe’s hand stroking him in time to his thrusts. Gabriel’s calloused and scarred hand worked gently around his length, hands most would think incapable of gentleness. As Gabe pressed back in, striking just against his prostate, the dual stimulation had Sam’s head pressed back against the pillow, gasping for air.

He could feel Gabriel’s hips beginning to falter, knowing that they were both getting close. Sam could feel his balls drawing up, knowing that he wasn’t going to last much longer as he pulled Gabe down to him again. 

He didn’t want their night to come to an end, wanted this moment to stretch into eternity. This could’ve been his heaven, forever to live in this moment, but no matter how hard he tried to cling to it, he knew that it was going to slip through his fingertips like grains of sand. The sun would rise and they would be pulled apart no matter how desperately they tried to hold on. He couldn’t hold on forever, so instead, he let go, coming hard over Gabriel’s hand. 

“Yours!” Sam cried out, much in the same way that Gabriel had once cried out, voice echoing through the halls for the world to hear and know that Sam Winchester belonged solely to Gabriel Novak. 

Gabriel struggled to keep his thrusts even. He wanted to Sam to come first, wanted to savor the feeling of his inner walls contracting around them. Sam came with a cry over his hand and Gabriel let go, emptying himself inside him. 

Gabriel collapsed on top of him, his head pillowed against Sam’s chest, listening to his heart beat. He was completely spent, physically and emotionally after the events of the day. He didn’t want to move, not even to pull out of him. He just wanted to stay here, warm, safe and happy. 

He looked up at Sam, his eyes starting to fall closed. “I love you, kiddo,” he said again. He would say it over and over, wanting Sam to know without a doubt that he meant it. “I’d die for you.” 

Finally, he pulled out of him gently, pulling one of Sam’s comforters over them. Gabriel pressed himself to Sam’s side, taking his hand in his own. He slipped the battered silver ring off his own finger and returned it to Sam’s pinky. “It’s yours, just like my heart. You keep it okay? I know we can’t, I don’t know if we’ll ever… but if we were… I’d want to marry you.” 

He was delusional, Gabriel told himself. They’d never be allowed to marry, not in this day and age, but maybe one day, it would happen for some other couple like them. He hoped he was alive to see it. 

Sam wrapped his arms tighter around Gabriel, pressing his lips against his hair. His heart sat heavy in his chest, but there was something in him that felt like he was soaring. He knew that he’d never be able to truly marry Gabriel, that they would never be seen as husbands, not really, but just the knowledge that Gabriel loved him that much… 

_“God,_ I love you.” Sam whispered, pulling him tightly into his chest. “I… I don’t care what the rest of the world says about us. They don’t… They don’t know what we have. And it scares them, but if they knew what we had… If they understood…” Sam let out a shaky sigh, that damn lump in his throat coming back. “I’d marry you right now, if you’d have me.” 

Sam shifted onto his side, not letting go of Gabriel as he reached over to the nightstand next to his bed. He pulled open the top drawer, pulling out a small metal tin that he kept the things that his parents had left for him before they died. He pulled off the lid and found the golden band that his father had worn on his finger until the day that he died. 

He sat the tin back on the nightstand before turning back to Gabriel, ring in hand. He took Gabe’s left hand in his and slipped the band into his ring finger, just like they would’ve on the wedding day that they’d never live to see. 

“Gabriel Novak…” Sam whispered, not entirely sure where he was going with this. After all that they’d been through, the terms _‘lovers’_ and _‘boyfriends’_ didn’t entirely seem to fit. 

Sam Winchester had resigned himself to a life alone as a child, knowing that he could never love a woman. For years, he had figured that he would live a life of celibacy, a life without love, without someone to stand by his side until death. Then Gabriel came into his life, with his devious smirks and his witty humor, with his words like poetry and his crooked smiles, with his hands all over and the smoke and whiskey on his tongue… Sam was in love. He loved Gabriel more than he had ever loved anyone else. 

“With this ring, I thee wed.” He whispered, pressing his lips against the ring. “Til death do us part.” 

It didn’t have to be formal. People didn’t need to know about what they were or what they had. All that mattered was that _they_ knew. 

Gabriel’s lip quivered as Sam’s slipped the ring on his finger. It would never be recognized in a church, or by society but that didn’t matter to him. He knew and Sam knew what that was all he needed. Even if this ended in his death, He had loved and been loved by a good man. 

“May I now kiss my husband?” Gabriel teased, leaning in and kissing Sam, sealing the deal between them. He slid his left hand into Sam’s, the ring Sam had given him heavy on his finger. Once this was over, he was going to get Sam a nice ring, not the battered silver one that only fit on his pinky, a real one that looked like it belonged on his finger. 

“I’ll get you a better one,” he said, kissing him again and yawning. His eyelids were heavy now, and he struggled to stay awake. “I promise, when this is all over.” 

He held his hand tightly, stroking the back of it with his thumb. Sam’s hands were scarred but not as bad as Gabriel’s were. The story of his hands was one of the earliest of the history that he’d told Sam. He remembered dreading it, revealing the abuse he’d suffered at the hands of his brothers. Even now, he loved them, even after all they had done. They were all he had for so long that it was hard to change his mindset. Now, he had Sam. 

Michael and Lucifer would pay for what they’d done to him, to Ellen and Jo, to everyone else who’d suffered under them. Even if he went down with them for his part in their crimes, he was taking them down if it was the last thing he did. 

Gabriel laid his head down on Sam’s chest again, eyes closing as he drifted off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-8)
> 
> 1\. Smile - Mikkey Echo  
> 2\. I Won't Let You Go - Snow Patrol  
> 3\. Saturn - Sleeping at Last   
> 4\. Jet Pack Blues - Fall Out Boy  
> 5\. Stop and Stare - OneRepublic  
> 6\. Skinny Love - Birdy   
> 7\. All of the Stars - Ed Sheeran  
> 8\. Never Forget You - Zara Larsson

The sun rose slowly behind the clouds, casting gray light over the city as Dean Winchester walked home. His eyes still burned from crying all night, something that he was not exactly proud of, and his chest ached, like someone had ripped out his heart and torn it to shreds. He walked slowly, dragging his feet against the pavement, not wanting to go back home just yet, but having nowhere else to go. 

He’d been close to Jo growing up. He’d seen her like a little sister for years, at least until the last couple of years, when things had started to change. He no longer saw her as the kid he used to run around with in his backyard, but she had started to look more like the ladies that he would pick up in bars and spend the night with. He had figured that one day, when he decided that it was time to settle his ass down with someone, take a wife and start a family of his own, Jo might be the woman he’d take. It certainly made sense… 

But it was over before it even began because of a fatal gunshot to the back of the head. 

He and Charlie had spent the night with Bobby because of it, drinking and crying, Charlie taking Jo’s death harder than any of them. Dean wasn’t quite sure where the hell Sam had gone, and he hadn’t had the capacity to care until the next morning, deciding that he needed to get home and make sure that his little brother hadn’t gone out and gotten himself into trouble.

There was a car parked in front of their house. One that didn’t belong to them. One that Dean recognized.

_Novak._

They’d come for Sam.

His breath caught in his throat for a moment before instinct kicked in. He reached behind him, pulling the gun from his waistband, an old revolver that he’d gotten for his sixteenth birthday and had carried with him everyday ever since. He drew it quickly before quietly approaching the door, not wanting to alert them of his presence. If they knew he was here, they would kill Sam, if they hadn’t already. He quietly opened the door, making sure not to make a sound as he stepped inside. 

Dean crept up the stairs, not daring to even breathe, gun drawn and finger on the trigger. _If anyone had so much as laid a finger on Sammy…_

He approached Sam’s bedroom and pressed an ear against it, the house having been as quiet as a grave before. Holding his breath, he listened until he heard movement on the other side of the door. The ruffle of sheets, soft breathing…

Without preamble, he kicked it open to find Sam asleep in his bed, Gabriel Novak tucked under his arm. 

Gabriel’s eyes flew open and the first thing he saw was a very angry Dean Winchester pointing a gun at him. He sat up straight and gave Dean a smile that was half awkward, half terrified. 

“Uhhh… Hi?” he stammered, putting his hand on Sam’s shoulder and shaking him. “Sammy? D-Dean is here.” 

He didn’t think he’d ever been more frightened in his life. Dean had every right after what his brothers had done to Ellen and Jo to blow his head clean off. He was sure that a Novak was the last person he wanted to see, let alone naked, and in his brother’s bed. 

Sam couldn't breathe. The crash of the door hadn't been enough to wake him up, but Gabriel’s hand on his shoulder had been enough to stir him, and his words had been enough to shoot him full of adrenaline. Now very much awake, he shot straight up to find Dean hovering over them, gun pointed directly at Gabriel’s head. 

Sam was awake now, and Gabriel glanced over at him, hoping he could get Dean to calm down, at least enough that he could explain why he was there (He was sure that would make Dean less happy than he already was) and why they had to leave town as soon as they could. Gabriel had no doubt Dean would protest, but hopefully Sam could convince him. 

He tried to put himself in Dean’s shoes in that moment, finding the person who he thought was responsible for the death of his loved ones in bed with his brother. He honestly didn’t know if he would react any differently than Dean was now, with his gun shoved in Gabriel’s face. 

Sam scrambled over Gabriel, forming a barrier between his lover and his brother. He knew that, if given the chance, Dean would shoot, murder the only man that Sam had ever loved. Perhaps it would be a warranted slaying, at least in Dean’s eyes, given the events of the day before. But Sam couldn't let him touch Gabriel, even if it meant protecting him with his life. 

There was no way out. With Dean in the doorway, and Sam in front of him, Gabriel was trapped. Trapped and at the mercy of Dean Winchester’s love for his brother. He knew that had Sam not been there, Dean would have killed him without a second thought, and he would deserve it. 

He felt like a coward hiding behind Sam, but he really didn’t have much of a choice. He had no weapon, hell, he didn’t even have any clothes on. He was completely naked, wearing nothing but the print of Sam’s teeth on his neck and dried flecks of Sam’s come all over his belly and chest. He had nothing. 

“Get out of the way, Sam.” Dean growled, death in his green eyes. Sam had never seen him so murderous, so hungry for blood. 

“Dean, calm down.” Sam started, heart slamming in his chest, knowing that Dean was capable of. Gabriel’s brothers may have been cunning, devilish, but Dean had the wrath of hell in him. 

_“Move,_ Sam, while I kill this son of a bitch!” Dean shouted, waving the gun at him. 

“Dean, it wasn't him. He's not the one who killed Ellen and Jo, he wasn't in on it, I know. I know him, Dean, he didn't do this. Michael, Lucifer… It was to get back at him for being with me.” Sam tried to explain, words coming out fast and desperate. 

Dean just cocked his gun in response. 

_“Dean,_ please… I won't let you shoot him. I… He's… I love him.”

When Dean cocked his gun, despite Sam’s babbling, he thought he was a dead man. Dean was easily almost as big as Sam was, and he had a gun. It wouldn’t be hard for him to get to Gabriel if he really wanted to. Gabriel didn’t think he would hurt Sam, but he had no doubt Dean would take the shot if there was any chance he thought he could hit him. 

“Dean!” Gabriel shouted over Sam’s shoulder, barely peeking over him. “He’s telling the truth. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have touched them, but this is all my fault. They went after Ellen and Jo to punish me for… for loving Sam. I love him, with everything that I am. That’s the God’s honest truth. I would die to protect him. We have that in common.” 

Dean didn’t move, so Gabriel kept talking. “I know it doesn't bring them back, but my brothers are going to pay for what they did. I’ll make sure of it. But you two and your family need to leave for know. Get out of town, take a long vacation. Killing Ellen and Jo was only the beginning. They’ve gotten something else planned, I just don’t know what it is yet. I need to keep Sam safe, and he won’t go without the rest of you.” 

“And why the hell should I believe a goddamn thing you say, Novak?” Dean hissed. “You may have my little brother fooled and seduced, but I'm not going to buy into your shit, Trickster.” 

Sam reached back with one hand, holding it out for Gabriel to take as he stood between the two of them. He knew that Dean wouldn't shoot him, not in a million years, but fear still pumped through his veins, terrified as to what the older Winchester might do to Gabe. Dean would’ve been fuming just to find out that he liked men, but the fact that he was in bed with one of their worst enemies…

“Dean, just put the gun down, we’ll talk this out.” Sam begged. “Please. I… I love him. You can trust him. He could've killed me so many times and he didn't. I love him, and he… He loves me too. Dean, please just _listen.”_

Sam’s fingers curled around Gabriel’s as he pulled him forward slowly, hoping that if Dean saw how much he loved and trusted the man that they had so long called their enemy, he might hear him out. He looked to his brother with pleading eyes, hoping and praying to whatever gods were out there that he would lower his gun. 

Dean let out a sigh after a long moment, deciding that shooting the man dead right in front of Sam may not be the best of ideas. _Later,_ he resigned. 

“Fine,” Dean sighed. “Tell me what the fuck is going on here.”

Gabriel was still clutching a sheet, going red in the face. “Can we get dressed first? I'd like to have the conversation clothed please.” 

Dean's eyes narrowed at him, but he stepped back out of the room, so they could get decent. 

Gabriel didn't say a word as he slipped back into the lounge pants and shirt he was wearing the night before. There was no covering the smell of them, like sex and sweat, but he had just been naked in front of Dean Winchester, so the fact that he was now clothed was an improvement. 

He watched as Sam did the same, pulling in his own clothes to cover the lovemarks Gabriel had left all over his body. When they were fine, Sam called his brother back in and offered him a chair. Sam and Gabriel sat down on the bed. 

Sam took Gabriel’s hand in his own, trying to calm his rattled nerves. He drew in a shaky breath before pulling Gabe’s hand to his lips, pressing against the golden band on his finger, trying to draw some strength from him. His heart was still slamming in his chest, and he hadn't ever thought about how he might explain it all to Dean, not thinking that he would ever need to. 

“I… Gabe and I met at that club on the East side about seven months ago. Purgatory. I've always… I've only ever liked men. So when I met Gabe, and we started talking and I realized that he was as interested in me as I was in him… We just hit it off. And we just started fooling around.” Sam explained. He left out the more intimate details, like how he immediately trusted him enough to sleep in his arms, and how they had danced to the same song that Sam had kept playing almost nonstop over the past six months, and how quickly Sam had fallen in love. 

“So Gabi… Was actually Gabriel.” Dean stated, nodding slowly, like he was trying to digest it all. 

“Yes.” Sam confirmed. 

Dean’s face fell, looking disappointed and worried and angry all at once. Sam couldn't blame him, either. It wasn't just that he was in love with _Gabriel,_ but it also had something to do with the fact that he had fallen for a Gabriel rather than a Gabriella, that he loved another man over a woman. Perhaps there were strides to be made, and perhaps they would one day be granted the acceptance they deserved, but until then...

“We started seeing each other every weekend… It became a lot more than just sex. I mean, there _was_ sex, but it was more than that. People think that… That gay people… They think we’re dirty, and that our lives are just sex and drugs, that we aren't capable of _love_ like everyone else, but I love him just like you'd love a woman. He's smart and he's funny and he makes me happy.” He mused, wanting Dean to see how much he truly loved Gabe. 

Sam could see Dean’s fists clench tightly, like he was trying to hold himself back. Sam instinctively shifted toward Gabriel, scooting closer to the smaller man so that he could protect him should the need arise. He wouldn't be surprised if Dean pounced on Gabe for supposedly corrupting his little brother, seducing him into the homosexual lifestyle. It was a lot to take in, so Sam didn't fully blame him. He just hoped that his older brother would come around. 

“Why… Why couldn't you just… Why couldn't you choose a woman? Why _him?_ Why did it have to be a _man?”_ Dean sighed, rubbing his eyes. “There are gorgeous gals practically throwing themselves at you, Sammy. Why did it have to be a man?” 

“That's not how it works, Dean. I can't just… I can't turn it on and off like a switch. I couldn't choose to be attracted to men any more than you could choose to be attracted to women.” Sam protested. 

“But I do it. I could be with a man if I wanted. But I don't. I choose not to. Why couldn't you just…” Dean replied, struggling not to yell. 

“Not everyone’s brain works that way, Dean.” Sam wanted to say more, wanted to tell his brother that it was okay to like men, and that bisexuality was normal, and that he didn't have to force himself to be with anyone just based upon what was between their legs, but it was neither the time nor place. 

Gabe had always glad Cas had just accepted what he was, who he was instead of asking why he couldn't just be with girls. Gabriel felt a strong dislike for Dean over it, and he squeezed Sam’s hand and gave him a reassuring smile. 

Sam rubbed his eyes before turning his eyes back down to the hand that rested in his own, admiring the ring on his finger now. The situation was nerve-wracking, between Dean’s ambush and the fact that they'd be forced apart god only knew how long, but he took some comfort in seeing the golden band, a symbol of their love for each other. 

“About a month ago, stuff started to fall apart.” Sam started. He wasn't quite confident that he could explain the rest without breaking down again, feeling raw from all of the emotional turmoil that had plagued the past month. Not wanting to have a breakdown in front of his brother, he turned to the man next to him, hoping that he would take it from there. 

“About a month ago, we were…. after…. okay, one morning when we were leaving our motel, my brother Lucifer showed up, not just at the motel, but right outside the door. He made some veiled threats, that it would be a shame if the person I was with got hurt.” Gabriel explained

He took a breath, to keep the strong emotions he felt towards his brothers right now tamped down. “So Sam and I had to keep our distance, at least until I could figure out what was going on. I tried, but Michael kept me busy, and I couldn't get on his case without arousing suspicion.” 

“So, uh, last night, Sam and I both ended up at the same restaurant, where we always went when we were together. Completely coincidence, but we…. uh…. got intimate and…” he didn't like the way Dean was fingering his gun every time one of them mentioned sex. “We parted ways with a plan to meet again at Purgatory. It all went downhill from there. Ellen and Jo…. My brothers left town outta nowhere and then and Sam came storming over to my place, put a hole in my wall. I had no idea what had happened until he came over. I swear it.” 

He knew Dean didn't believe a word he said, but he had to finish. “Sam left and I followed him here. Warned him about something to come, I don't know what it is yet. This wasn't just to start a war, something else is coming. And we made up and… And… And now we’re here.” He shrugged. “You and Sam still need to leave. Take Bobby and Charlie and just go. Until I can figure out what they're planning.” 

Dean nodded slowly, struggling to take it all in. The fact that his little brother was queer and in love with their enemy, all of the danger that Sam had thrown himself into… He felt nauseous. 

Sam wrapped an arm around Gabriel’s shoulders, pulling him into his chest. He didn’t want to leave the man that he loved so much, didn’t want to leave his husband’s side, but this was bigger than just him. This was bigger than his own well-being; Ellen and Jo’s unjustified execution had proved that. He had to go to keep his family safe, even if that meant leaving behind Gabe. 

“I’m sorry I got us into this, Dean. I’m the reason why Ellen and Jo are dead, and… I know you can never forgive me for that. If I hadn’t followed through with this, if I’d left it alone, if I had never met Gabriel, they’d still be alive right now.” Sam whispered, eyes brimming with tears. 

He looked down at the man under his arm, and all of the memories came rushing back to him. Gabe’s quiet words of praise back before Sam knew what he was doing when it came to sex. The warmth of his laugh whenever Gabe made a joke and they were both laughing so hard that they could hardly breathe. The reassuring rise and fall of his chest whenever he slept tucked beneath Sam’s arm. Waking up to Gabriel’s fingers tracing over his chest… 

“But I don’t regret it. I don’t regret meeting him, I don’t regret falling in love with him… We need to leave. The bunker in Lebanon should be safe. We’ll stay there until Gabe gets this sorted out. And then when we come back, when this is all said and done…” Sam turned toward Gabe, pressing a small kiss against his temple. “If he will have me, I think we’re going to get out of the business. Get a place of our own, settle down.” 

Dean’s face fell. Sam hated doing this to him, hated seeing his brother like this, but what other choice did he have? There was no going back after this, and he’d be lucky if Dean didn’t take it upon himself to deliver the wrath of god upon both of them. 

Sam sighed and pulled away from Gabriel before rising to his feet. “We need to leave. Go round up Charlie and Bobby. Tell them what’s going on. We need to get out of the city.” 

Gabriel didn’t take his eyes off Dean until he was gone, every second expecting him to flip around and shoot him. It wasn’t until he was out of sight that Gabriel turned to Sam. 

Sam turned to Gabriel with sad eyes. “Will you drive me to the train station?” He inquired, half because he needed a ride, and half because he needed more time with his husband. 

“Of course I will, Sammy,” Gabriel kissed his knuckles. “I’d do anything for you. You know that. I’ll help you pack.” 

The fact that Dean and the rest of them were getting out of town made a huge weight lift off Gabriel’s shoulders. He wouldn’t be able to concentrate on what he had to do if he had Sam’s family to worry about. 

Sam pulled a suitcase out from under his bed, and he and Gabriel began to pack his things. Gabriel was sure Sam wouldn’t need a suit while in hiding, but he packed one anyway, his personal favorite, just in case. He loaded the cases with shirts and slacks, underwear and socks. Concentrating on it was the only thing that was keeping him from grabbing Sam and kissing him until he couldn’t breathe. 

Truth be told, Gabriel was terrified. He’d never gone against Michael and Lucifer before. They were formidable alone, but together, they were nigh impregnable. He was a little bit out of his depth, but he had to try. He would fight to his last breath to keep Sam safe, and for their dreams of the future. He couldn't believe that Sam had just flat out told Dean they were leaving when this was over. 

“Did you really mean it… what you said to Dean? About leaving?” he asked, looking up at Sam. 

Sam shut the suitcase and zipped it up before turning to Gabriel, giving a small nod. They had talked about it for so long, and Sam could so easily picture it in his head. Living together somewhere outside of the city, perhaps on the countryside, no one else around for miles, leaving them to do as they pleased. Sleeping in their shared bed together every single night. There would be no more sneaking around, no more cheap motels, no more dirty bathrooms. The halls of their shared home would be alive with the crackling of the record player, music filling the home as they danced like fools in their living room. They could live lives outside of the bloodshed and dangers of life in the mob. They could finally have something _nice._

“Every word. If you would have me.” Sam answered. 

Sam took a step toward the smaller man, reaching down and taking his hand. He could imagine the scars fading, no new scars forming against the flesh, the raised pink flesh slowly fading to white with each year that passed. 

The idea of their future together, the idea of at last building a life with the man he had claimed as his husband, it was the only thing that kept him from cracking under the stress. The rational part of his brain knew that Gabriel may never come back home, that his brothers may very well kill him for his perceived betrayal, but he didn’t let himself acknowledge that risk. 

“Is that something that you would want? When this is over, and your brothers are dead or arrested, and we don’t have to worry about them anymore… Do you want to settle down? Just you and me?” 

Gabriel looked up at him, and smiled. He could almost see the picture that was playing in his head, the future they wanted, just the two of them in a place where the bloodshed of their families hadn’t touched. They could get a dog or two, maybe some cats, start another business. Who knew? The possibilities were endless. But he needed to clear the way first. 

He fingered the ring on his hand, still getting used to the weight and feel of it. It would remind him what he was fighting for when it got touch. He would do what he needed to do, even if it meant going down with his family. Sam’s safety meant more to him than his pride. He’d broken laws, committed crimes. If he had to pay, then so be it. He’d made his choice now. He knew, Sam would wait for him. 

Gabriel squeezed his hand. “Of course I do. You know how many times I’ve tried to get away from them? I’ve been riding the pine a long time, kiddo. It’s time for me to choose, and I choose you.” 

He sat down on the bed, next to the suitcase. “You need to promise me something, okay? That you’ll take care of yourself while I’m gone? I don’t want you going to pieces, you have to take care of your family, and Cas if something happens to me. Cas is all I got besides you. He’ll help me as much as he’s able, but if things go south I’m sending him to you. He’s a good kid. Watch out for him alright?” 

He didn’t want to think about it, but he had to make provisions for Cas. Before Sam, Cas had been the only good thing in his life, and he needed to protect him too. 

It was time for him to stop running. 

Sam nodded hard. He’d never met Gabriel’s brother, but he would make sure to watch over the younger Novak. If he was anything like his older brother, then Sam knew that he’d take a liking to him. 

“I will. I promise.” Sam swore. He didn’t want to admit the risk that he may never see Gabriel again, but if it gave him comfort, Sam would say anything. And he meant it. He would take care of Castiel Novak if anything happened. 

Sam knelt down in front of Gabriel, laying his head down in the smaller man’s lap. He didn’t want to get up quite yet, didn’t want to leave this bedroom, knowing that it would mean leaving the man that he loved to an unknown fate at the hands of his brothers. If it had been up to him, Sam would’ve stood at Gabe’s side and fought with him, protect him with his life, but he knew that Gabe would never allow it. 

“Stay safe for me.” Sam whispered. “Don’t do anything stupid.” 

Gabe’s brothers were dangerous, and it was already a two-on-one fight. If he wasn’t careful, they’d kill him, and Sam wasn’t quite sure that he’d be able to take it if they did. He knew that Gabriel wanted him to stay strong while he was gone, but Sam wasn’t quite sure that he’d be able to. 

“Do whatever you have to… Just… Come back home to me.” He murmured. 

“I will, Sammy,” Gabriel assured him. “Come hell or high water, I’ll find you.” He said. 

_‘Even if it’s in the afterlife,’_ he thought, but didn’t voice it. 

Gabriel threaded his hands through Sam’s hair, feeling the silkiness of the strands between his scarred fingers. He loved touching Sam’s hair, loved pulling it in the heat of the moment. To think he might never touch it again, made a lump form in his throat. He sat there stroking his hair until there was a cough at the door. 

Dean was standing there, watching them, his brother with his head in the lap of a man whose family had killed members of his. Gabriel made eye contact with the elder Winchester, but didn’t falter. He held it until Dean looked away. 

Gabriel nudged Sam, until the other man opened his eyes. “Time to go, Sammy,” he said gently. He hated that Dean had stolen the last moments they would have together, but he didn’t blame him for it. It was just bad timing, as always. They never caught a break and he didn’t know why he expected them to know. 

He helped Sam to his feet, and smiled up at him though he wanted to cry. He would be strong. He would do what he had to. He was just as ruthless as his brothers when it came down to it and they would pay for under estimating him. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too, Gabe. I love you so much.” Sam whispered, leaning down until his forehead was pressed against Gabe’s. He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to leave this bedroom, knowing what leaving meant, but there was no avoiding it. He pressed a small kiss against Gabriel’s nose before pulling away slowly. There wasn’t time for anything more. There wasn’t time for any last consummations or conjoinments, no time for one final expression of love. They had to leave. 

Sam took Gabe’s hand in his own before leaning down and grabbing his suitcase, walking slowly toward the door, legs feeling like they weighed a thousand pounds a piece. 

Dean sat at the bottom of the stairs, head hanging in his hands. He looked tired; that was the only way that Sam knew how to phrase it, though it didn't exactly encompass it entirely. He look like he'd been hit by a train, broken and battered. Sam wasn't quite sure whether this brokenness was due to Ellen and Jo’s deaths, or if it was about this new revelation that his brother was gay, or if it was because of the man that Sam had fallen in love with… 

Sam gestured for Gabriel to head to the door before sitting down next to Dean. They had sat at the bottom of these same steps so many times. They'd waited here during meetings between their father and his clients, sitting there late into the evenings until their father gave the okay to come back upstairs. This had been where Dean had stitched him up after his first bad deal, after getting his ass handed to him by one of Crowley’s. This had been where Sam had comforted his brother after yet another beating from their father. 

“You remember when I was… Twelve? Thirteen, maybe? We were living next to Benny Lafitte, and our room was right across from his and I used to throw paper airplanes through his window at night. He was my best friend in seventh grade. You remember that?” Dean mused, not looking up at Sam. 

“Yeah. I remember.” Sam whispered. 

“I used to think he was cute. It was back when Jo was still a little tomboy, and I didn't really think of her as a _girl._ And I didn't really think of Benny as a _boy._ They were just Jo and Benny.” He muttered before reaching up and scratching the back of his neck. “Dad and Ellen would tease Jo and I about one day growin’ up and getting married. I thought that was gross. But there was that damn neighbor boy… We used to play with dad’s tools and shit in the shed. Used to shoot cans, and sometimes we’d hide out there and… When I was… I think I might've been fourteen then. He kissed me for the first time. I threw up that night because I made myself so sick worrying about what that meant. But he was like… My… Boyfriend, I guess. Then the goddamn neighbor on the other side, that damn Uriel… He saw us holding hands. Told Dad. He flipped. And don't get me wrong, I _like_ girls, so I just…” 

Dean’s musings became ramblings, but Sam clung to every word. 

“There's probably some screwy gene in us that makes us like boys, I guess.” Dean sighed before slapping a hand down on Sam’s knee. “I understand why you did it. I'm not mad. And if you think that being with a guy… If being with _Gabriel,_ will make you happy… I just want you to be safe, Sammy.” 

Sam turned to his brother, tears brimming in his eyes. He'd known for years that Dean had inclinations, but he'd never known all of that. He'd never known about Benny, about the fact that he’d suppressed himself all these years. 

“I've never been happier than when I'm with him, Dean.” Sam whispered. 

Dean nodded slowly before throwing an arm around Sam’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug. “Then I'm here for you. You're still my brother. You'll always be my brother, and I'll love you no matter what.” 

Sam smiled, something inside of him brimming with joy. He hadn't known how Dean might react, hadn't anticipated any of it, but it was better than he ever could've dreamed. After a moment, he pulled himself to his feet, pulling Dean up behind him before turning toward the doorway where Gabriel stood. 

Gabriel gave Sam all the time he needed with Dean. Even though they'd be going together, they needed the time now to fix everything. Gabriel almost envied them. 

Michael and Lucifer had stopped being his brothers when his father brought them into his business. They're left their childhoods and Gabriel behind them, and they never looked back. They never got to know him after that, only thought of him as another pawn in the great game. He wished one of them cared about him like Sam and Dean cared about each other. 

He had Cas, Cas who accepted him no matter what. Strange, gentle Castiel whom he'd fought tooth and nail to keep out of the business. He'd send him to Sam as soon as he got home. 

Sam reached down for Gabe’s hand before turning back toward Dean. 

“Go get Bobby and Charlie. Kevin’s still in California, right?” Sam instructed, Dean giving a curt nod. “Alright. We’ll meet you at the train station.” 

Gabriel took Sam’s hand, threading his fingers through his, and followed him towards the car. He wished they had time for once more, not even sex, just laying together listening to each other's heart beats, but the time for that was past. 

He loaded the suitcase into the trunk and got into the driver's seat. He'd never been in the car with Sam, and he'd always pictured their first trip together as something happy, as them leaving the city forever, instead of just Sam. Gabriel started the car, and waited for Sam to put on his seat belt. 

“You ready?” 

Sam laced his fingers through Gabriel's once he slid into the driver’s side, unwilling to let go until he had no other choice. 

“No.” Sam sighed, squeezing his hand tightly. “But we don't have much of another choice, so drive.” 

Gabriel pulled out onto the road, and Sam refused to let go of his hand. He hoped to whatever god may be out there that he would be able to remember what it felt like to hold his hand. He hoped that he would be able to remember what it felt like whenever Gabriel moved inside of him, what it felt like to sleep next to him, what it felt like to count his heartbeats beneath his palm…

“I wish we had more time.” Sam breathed. He let out a small, bitter laugh, somewhere between angry and distraught. “Didn't even get to consummate the marriage.”

They had made their vows just following sex, and they had been far too exhausted and spent for a second round. Now, Sam wondered if they would ever get the chance. 

Gabriel looked over at him briefly, trying to keep his eyes on the road. “When you get back, we will,” Gabriel told him confidently, even though he didn't feel it. 

“When you get back, we're going to buy a house in the country, and we're going to consummate over every surface in the entire house,” he offered a cheeky smile. “Against every wall, in the bathtub, on the floor. I'm never going to stop wanting to make love to you.” 

Sam could see their home in his mind’s eye almost perfectly, a fantasy that he had constructed for himself as a way to cope with it all. A small, cottage-style home in the countryside, with a fireplace, the biggest thing in the entire home being the library. They didn't need a big home; they'd grown up in houses like mansions, especially for the city. Sam wanted something cozier, something small, never too far away from each other. The backyard, however, would be enormous, big enough for their dogs, maybe a garden, big enough for kids to run around in if they ever found a way to adopt. 

Sam could imagine staining each inch of that home in memories of their lovemaking. Gabriel straddling his hips and riding him on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Showers always to be taken together, Sam hoisting him up against the wall beneath the warm spray of water. Sam would hardly be able to keep his hands away, he was sure. 

Gabriel wanted to think that way, to hope against all hope that he would come back. But he was going head to head with the two most ruthless men in the entire city. More likely, he would only come back to Sam in a body bag, but he had to be strong for the both of them. 

Sam knew that they would most likely be robbed of this future together, but he forced the thought away. Instead, he let himself indulge in his fantasies for Gabriel’s sake, turning to him with a weak smile. 

Gabriel stroked his thumb along the back of Sam’s hand. “Don't even have time for a quickie. I don't want to piss Dean off anymore. Next time, I don't think he’ll hesitate to blow me sky high.” 

He looked over at Sam, trying to make him smile, but Sam’s face looked like marble next to him. 

“Smile for me, please?” 

“Tell me a story.” Sam whispered. They still had a ways to go, the station being all the way on East side, a little ways past Purgatory. “Anything. I… I don't care, just tell me something happy.”

“Did I ever tell you about the time I got Cas a kitten?” Gabriel asked, and Sam shook his head. 

“Cas was 6 years old and he got it in his head that he wanted a kitten. Don't know why, but he wanted that kitten so badly,” he told him. 

“He asked Dad, but he was too busy and Michael and Lucifer just ignored him, but Cas still wanted that kitten. It just so happened that one of Dad’s guy’s cat had just had kittens. I worked out a deal with him that I worked in his store for a month every day after school for that kitten,” 

He smirked at his own story, remembering Cas’ big blue eyes when he pleaded with their father. “And after a month, this guy gives me the mangiest kitten that I had ever seen, but I washed him up and put a satin bow on him and took him home to Cas.” Gabriel continued. “Nastiest cat I ever laid eyes on, but he loved Castiel. Used to spit and hiss at everyone else, but damn would he purr whenever he saw Cas.” 

Gabriel smiled at him. “I gave that kid anything he wanted. Spoiled him I think.” 

Sam smiled, pulling Gabe’s hand up to his lips. So many would've deemed Gabriel Novak a monster simply for the sins of his father, the business that he had gotten himself into. But Gabriel was a good man, better than most men. He came off as cold and aloof to anyone who didn't know him, but Sam was always amazed by how wrong that assessment proved to be. 

“You sound like Dean.” Sam chuckled. “Used to spoil me rotten before he got into the business. I remember being a kid and I kept asking for a dog. I was only seven or eight, Dean was maybe eleven… He stole a big ass mutt from the neighbor. I kept that dog in my closet for three days before Dad caught a whiff of the shit in my room and we had to give him back.” 

Sam smiled, not having realized just how similar Gabriel was to his brother, yet somehow finding it a bit endearing. “He was always protecting me, too. Always tried to keep me safe. I think he still does, sort of. He could've shot through me, could've killed you and come out a hero. But he didn't. He's always wanted to protect me. He wants to see me happy at the end of the day.” 

Sam’s eyes scanned over Gabriel’s face, noting the small smile at the edges of his lips. “You're the most selfless person I've ever met, you know that?”

Gabriel chuckled, and ran a hand through his hair. “I'm really not though. It may seem like that now, but I'm selfish.” 

They were almost to the train station and his time with Sam was growing short. There was still so much he wanted to say. “If I had been selfless, I would have pushed you away, broken your heart right from the get go. Then none of this would have happened.” He admitted. “I knew something bad was going to happen eventually but I couldn't let go of you. I wanted you, I knew you were inexperienced and too good for me, and I kept you anyway.” 

Gabriel hung his head. He'd finally said it , come clean with everything. Behind his cockiness and swagger, Gabriel was selfish and insecure. He'd wanted Sam Winchester from the moment he'd laid eyes on him, especially after he learned his name. He wanted to corrupt him, but he fell hard and quick, and he ignored the danger. If he'd been as selfless as Sam claimed, he would have broken Sam’s heart and gone on his way. 

“Sam…” he started, his voice faltering. “If something happens to me…. I don't want you to wait. I want you to meet someone else, alright? Get out of this life, out of this town, just like we planned and find someone who deserves you, promise me?” 

Sam squeezed Gabriel’s hand tightly. Gabe was selfless in every way that counted, and when he was selfish, Sam was grateful for it. Sam didn't regret a single moment that they had spent together. 

Living life without Gabriel seemed impossible, even just imagining it stinging at the core of his soul. He didn't want to imagine life without his Gabriel, the idea of it being too much to bare. But he wasn't going to disrespect his wishes. Gabriel was walking into a war zone on a suicide mission for him. For his family. The least that Sam could do was give him his word, even if it was empty. 

“I promise.” Sam squeaked out. 

Sam could see the station approaching in the distance, a few blocks away. Squeezing his hand, Sam let out a long sigh. 

“Pull over. I want to walk from here.”

Gabriel gave him a long look, but he did as Sam asked. He could deny him nothing, even now. Gabriel pulled over and parked the car. He turned it off, not wanting their time together to end. 

He reached for Sam across the seat, wanting to feel his lips one last time. Once again he cursed Dean of taking their morning away from them, but there was nothing he could do about it. If time was in his control, he would trap them in the 4 day pocket they spent at Sam’s place, living it happily over and over until the end of their lives. 

He kissed Sam gently, tangling his hands in his hair. “I love you, Sam Winchester,” he said quietly, looking into his eyes. Somehow in the pit of his heart, he knew it was the last time he would see them. 

Sam struggled back a sob, his chest aching as he scooted closer. He stared deep into those whiskey-colored eyes, wishing that he could drown in them. 

Sam wasn't ready to let go. He knew that he really never would be ready to let him go, to send him off to war and let him walk straight to his death, but what other choice did they have? Gabriel was the only one who could take down his brothers, and he would never let Sam stand by him and fight, protect him from whatever his brothers might do to him. There was no getting around this. Sam had to let go. 

“I love you so much, Gabriel. More than I've ever loved anyone else.” Sam confessed. 

He felt like they were wearing out those three words, like they were losing their meaning, but perhaps that was because they didn't encompass how deeply Sam felt for this man. He loved him so much that it cut down to the very core of his soul, so much that it _hurt._ The words _‘I love you’_ didn't even come close to capturing just how much Sam loved Gabriel. 

“Walk with me. Dean won't be here for a little while. Wait with me.” He whispered. 

Gabriel hesitated. This wasn’t Purgatory or the motel, this was in public, where anyone could see them. The habits that they had used the past seven months to keep their relationship hidden were still ingrained in him, and he found himself not wanting to walk Sam over out of fear. He took a deep breathe. Gabriel supposed it couldn’t do anymore damage than had already been done. His brothers knew now, it wasn't like they were hiding from their families anymore. 

Despite that fact, Gabriel knew that their relationship wouldn’t be accepted anymore by the public than it would by their families. It wouldn’t be different. 

Sam was looking at him with such want, he relented despite his better judgement. He couldn’t say no. If this was the last time they got to spend together, he would have Sam happy. 

“Alright,” he responded, pulling the keys out of the ignition and opening the door. Gabriel retrieved Sam’s suitcase from the back of the car, and opened Sam’s door for him, a gentleman to the last. “C’mon, kiddo. Let’s go get you a ticket.” 

Sam got out of the car and they walked towards the station together, a respectable distance between them. It was deserted for this early in the morning, and Gabriel was grateful for small miracles. 

After getting Sam a ticket, they picked a bench on the platform and sat down to wait for Dean. 

Sam wanted desperately to reach across the bench and close the distance between the two of them. But even as deserted as the train station was this morning, only a woman several feet down with her face too deep in a book to care, he didn't risk it. Rather, he let one hand rest between them in hopes that Gabe would follow and their fingers could touch without raising suspicion. 

“When this is all over, maybe you can meet my family. I think that they might come around one of these days. Dean… He's like you; he likes both. And maybe one of these days they'll see that we’re not sinners or freaks of nature… I think you might like Charlie. She reminds me a bit of you, sometimes. She's got… A lot of spunk.” Sam chuckled. 

He knew that it was unlikely that they could ever be one big happy family, but the idea of it was still enough to give him comfort. As much as he hated the business, Sam had always loved his family. He hoped that he could share that with Gabriel. A broken and dysfunctional and flawed bunch as they were, they were still family. Gabe had been robbed of his family, his brothers turning into beasts, his father having abandoned them, his mother having died years before… He deserved family; not just Sam, but _family._ And Sam hoped that maybe his family could learn to give him that. 

“Can I ask you something a bit strange?” Sam inquired after a moment. He hesitated, not wanting to come off as pushy or weird, not quite sure _how_ Gabe would react. “Would you take my last name? Or I could take yours, or we could combine our last names, I don't really care. I just… I like the symbolism of it.”

Gabriel blinked at him owlishly for a moment. What was he getting on about? He knew married couples did that, took the man’s name normally, but they were both men, and the state would never recognize what they had as legal. 

“You would want to be a Novak after my brothers … after what my brothers did to your family?” he inquired. “I don’t know if they would ever accept me, Sam. That’s alright. I wouldn’t accept me either.” He put his head down, trying to keep from crying. He put his hand down on the bench, inching it closer to Sam. He pressed his pinky against his lover’s, wishing he could feel more of him. 

Dean might have accepted Sam’s relationship with Gabriel, but he wouldn’t ever accept Gabriel as a part of their family. He knew that. He’d always be an outsider to them, tied to them by just Sam’s love. If Sam ever stopped loving him… 

He didn’t want to think about it, not when his time with Sam was running out like sand through an hourglass. He forced himself to think happy things. 

“What kind of dog do you want?” he asked, sniffling. He’d known Sam had wanted a dog for a long time and Gabriel would get him one, several, as many as Sam wanted. They would have to get a farm for the pack of dogs they were bound to end up with. 

Gabriel’s breath caught in his throat as he saw Dean’s car pull into the lot, and several people pile out of it, with their suitcases. 

Sam felt a wave of anxiety and sadness rush over him as his brother climbed out of the car, Charlie and Bobby following. Quickly, before they could take the seconds they had left away from them, Sam scooted closer to his lover. 

“Do you know who H. H. Holmes was? Prolific serial killer a couple of decades back. Some say he killed over 200 people. A seriously bad guy.” He started. Gabriel looked at him with puzzled eyes, but Sam had a point he was getting at. “And you know the great fictional detective, Sherlock Holmes. In no way related to the monster of the same last name. Couldn't have been more different.” 

Sam turned and took a knee in front of his lover, not caring who saw them. He took Gabe’s hands in his own, meeting his eyes. “I would gladly wear the name Novak, because it's _your_ name. And you're not your brothers. You couldn't be further from them.” 

He turned and found Charlie bounding up to them, hands shoved in the pockets of her trousers. She wasn't supposed to wear them, always got dirty glares when she did, but she had always taken more of a liking to men’s clothes. Dean was following close behind, carrying a suitcase in each hand. Bobby trailed even further behind, wearing a look of distaste, disgust, even, a face that struck fear into Sam’s chest, terrified that he might lose the only father figure in his life. But he pushed those fears aside, instead rising to his feet and pulling Gabriel up with him. 

“And I want Border Collies. At least six of them.” 

Gabriel swallowed as Sam’s family walked up. He fought the urge to pull out of Sam’s grip, to run away. He didn’t think Bobby, who had a more fearsome reputation as a hitman that his brother, Lucifer, would have a much better reaction than Dean had when he found them in bed together. But for the moment, there was no gun in sight. 

Gabriel steadied himself and looked at each of them in turn. This was the family Sam had asked him to be apart of, a family would would gladly see him dead. 

The train they had to catch pulled into the station, steam pouring from the smokestack. Time was up. 

If they were someone else, alone, literally anywhere, he would have pulled Sam into the deepest kiss he could muster, hands in his hair, pressed against him as tightly as he could manage, but he couldn’t do any of it. He would have to settle for a handshake. 

Gabriel out Sam’s bag on the trolley and turned back towards him, smiling brightly. It hurt so damn much, but the last glimpse of him that Sam would get was his smile. 

He held out his hand to Sam, the ring Sam had given him glinting brightly on his ring finger. 

“What do you say, kiddo?”

Sam’s eyes darted around the station for a moment, only to find it mostly abandoned. His family still stood there, Bobby finishing with the bags, Dean standing at his side, Charlie paying no attention as she spun around one of the poles. There was no one else around, most everyone already at work on this dreary Thursday morning. Even the lady with the book had seemingly vanished into thin air. 

There was nothing that anyone could do to him that could hurt him any worse. _What the hell,_ Sam decided. 

Sam took Gabriel’s hand before pulling him in hard, claiming his lips one last time, needing something to remember him by. Perhaps he was stupid and naive, especially knowing how paranoid Gabriel tended to get, but Sam couldn't bring himself to care. The only people there were his family, and while he would probably get shit from them later, he couldn't bring himself to care. 

He needed this to be what he remembered Gabriel by. He needed their goodbye to be as passionate and fiery as their relationship had always been, the heated spark of lust and love and need being what had fueled them, not this dying ember of brokenness that had haunted them all morning. He needed to reignite what was in them; he needed to remember Gabriel like this. 

Gabriel was stunned into silence as Sam kissed him one last time, sending waves of heat and arousal coursing through him. It was all he could do not to pull Sam back when he pulled away. He ignored the disapproving looks of Sam’s family and grinned at him.

“You get your ass back home to me, okay?” Sam called as he stepped back onto the train, reluctant to let go of him but knowing that if he didn't let go now, he never would. 

“I’ll try my best, Sammy,” He said. “Take care of yourself.” 

Gabriel watched as the train doors closed and the train began to pull away. He waved until it was out of sight, standing there to collect himself before driving. He turned and walked the couple blocks back to his car, breathing steadily and evenly to keep himself calm. 

Gabriel slid behind the wheel of his car and turned it on. He wanted to cry, wanted to scream, but he couldn’t afford the fall apart. He had work to do. 

He pulled the car out and started to drive towards the south quadrant of the city. Normally he stayed clear of this part, much preferring the up front nature of the Winchesters to the sneaky tactics of Hell’s family. 

But Crowley owed him, and it was time to collect. 

 

~~~~

 

Sam stumbled back into the train as it began to move, feeling everything shatter within him as the train began to chug along the tracks. Sam pressed his forehead against the window, watching Gabriel wave from the platform until he disappeared, and remaining with his head pressed against the glass for what felt like hours after. 

“Sammy?” Dean murmured, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder. 

Sam wasn't sure if it was the crush of reality that came with Dean’s voice, or if it was the small sting that came with Dean’s touch from the bruise on his shoulder, but he immediately let out a sob. They were alone in the train car, just Dean and Charlie and Bobby, so Sam didn't bother to try and hold back the tears. 

Dean’s arms wrapped back around him, pulling him into a tight hug. It took him back to the old days. Dean had held him like this when he was a child, crying after falling down and scraping his knee, holding him tight like this until he stopped crying. Dean had held him like this when he was in grade school, crying after the bullies had taunted him for his father’s reputation and the fact that he no longer had a mother. Dean had held him like this when he was sobbing in frustration because his father told him that if he dared go to college, then he wasn't allowed to come back. And this was no different. 

“Shh, Sammy. Shh… It'll be okay. You'll be okay. He’ll be okay.” Dean whispered empty promises, holding him tight. 

_“He's not coming back.”_ Sam bawled, knees going weak beneath him. _“He's not coming back to me.”_

Sam let out a scream like hell as he fell to his knees. 

 

~~~~

 

Sam had cried himself to sleep, sinking back into dreams of Gabriel. His fingertips pressing bruises against his hips, his soft lips pressed against every inch of flesh, his warm eyes slowly disappearing beneath drooping eyelids… 

He awoke again when it was dark, stars breaking through the black of the sky, the light of the crescent moon just barely illuminating the car. He shifted slightly, hoping to any gods that may have been out there that Gabriel was sleeping next to him, the two of them on this train to disappear together, but there was nothing. Dean lay sleeping in the seat across the aisle from him, Bobby next to him, and Charlie in front of them. And Gabriel was miles behind him. 

Sam slowly pulled himself out of the chair and reached for his bag. He opened it up to grab a box of cigarettes. They were Gabriel’s, a box that he had left in his home after their four days of paradise. Sam hadn't touched them until now, having grabbed them and tossed them into his bag. He grabbed them and a lighter before silently creeping toward the back of the car, stepping out onto the small open platform. 

The wind was cold, blowing harshly against the back of his neck as he stepped into the open air, but he didn't care. He flicked open the lighter and lit one of Gabe’s cigarettes, propping it between his teeth as he leaned against the railing. He'd never smoked before, aside from a curious puff at the age of ten before choking on the smoke, but he no longer cared, savoring the burn in his lungs. 

His eyes found the stars above his head, white flecks of light littering the sky, creating a gorgeous mosaic of cracked light. There was an arc overhead, looking like some beautiful split in their universe. They didn't look like this in the city. The lights from bars and brothels all shone too brightly to see the stars there. But there was nothing but trees for miles here… 

He wondered if Gabriel had ever seen them like this. He wondered if their home on the countryside would've had this sort of view. He wondered what Gabriel’s face would've looked like beneath their glow, if his eyes would've looked as infinite and infinitely curious as the sky above. 

Sam sighed as he finished his cigarette, discarding of the stub onto the rapidly vanishing railroad tracks beneath him. It was time to go inside. They'd be coming in on Lebanon in a matter of hours, and he needed to get as much sleep as he could before then, lest he venture too far into his own thoughts and break down again. Charlie had shown compassion. Bobby wouldn't look at him. Dean had held onto him until he fell asleep. But he knew that he wouldn't be able to take another round of sobbing. 

He stepped back into the car, quietly creeping back toward his seat when he felt the grasp of ice cold fingers around his throat. A sharp tip of a blade pressed right against his throat, ready to sever arteries that would leave him to bleed out on the floor in mere seconds. Sam’s breath caught in his throat, unable to breathe, unable to cry out. 

Slowly, the hand that had curled around his throat pulled away, but the knife remained firm against it flesh. The Devil himself crept around in front of him, raising a finger to his lips. Sam wanted to cry out, but refrained as Lucifer pulled a revolver from his waistband and aimed it directly for Dean. The message was clear. Not. A. Sound. 

“Hi there, Sammy.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-9)
> 
> 1\. Seven Devils - Florence + the Machine  
> 2\. I Found - Amber Run  
> 3\. Let the Flames Begin - Paramore  
> 4\. Earth - Sleeping at Last  
> 5\. Broken Crown - Mumford & Sons  
> 6\. Don't Let Me Down - The Chainsmokers ft. Daya  
> 7\. Skyfall - Adele  
> 8\. Feels Like Forever - Of Mice & Men  
> 9\. Oh, Catastrophe - Crown the Empire  
> 10\. The Fallout - Crown the Empire

Gabriel drove straight to Crowley's mansion, not making one stop on the way. He had a mission and there was no time to waste. He parked at the end of the long driveway, and began walking. He was sure there were guns aimed on him at the very moment, Crowley’s boys ready to take him out with one wrong move, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had dropped by the house of Hell’s family regularly enough that Crowley’s sentires should know what he and his car looked like.

Gabriel arrived and knocked on the door loudly, slamming against the heavy oak door until a petite brunette opened the door for him, the same one that had been flirting with his brother all those months ago.

“Hello Meg. Is Crowley available?” He asked with a smile, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. She pulled away, wrinkling her nose. She had never taken to him as much as she had taken to his brothers, though Gabriel hardly cared either way. She wasn’t his type anyways.

“He’s in his office. You know the way, Trickster.” She replied, opening the door wider for him.

“Thank you, _mon petite,”_ He nodded, striding into the house as if he owned the place. Crowley’s office was off his massive library, and if Gabriel had not been in a hurry, he would have stopped to borrow something for his collection.

Gabriel stepped in with a determination in his gait to find Crowley sitting behind his desk, nursing a fine glass of whiskey on the rocks as he looked over a pile of papers.

“Hello, Crowley.” Gabriel walked in and plopped down on the chair opposite Crowley’s massive oak desk. No time for pleasantries or permissions.

“Gabriel,” Crowley drawled, putting his glass down on a matching crystal coaster. “To what to I owe this visit?”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow as he motioned for Crowley to pour him a glass. “No need to play dumb darling, I know that you know what this is about. You owe me, and I’ve come to collect.” He replied with a smirk. Despite the anguish, despite the anxiety and the fact that he desperately missed Sam already, he managed to keep up the carefree persona that he’d built up for himself over the years.

Crowley poured him a glass and slid it across the slick surface of the desk. “Your little fling with the baby Winchester. I thought you had better taste that that.”

Gabriel and Crowley had had a thing once upon a time, when they were both much younger and stupider. It had started much like Gabriel's relationship with Sam, heated glances across a crowded speakeasy, but there the similarities ended. It had started with fucking in back alleys and dusty motels, sure, but they never spent the night together. They had never fallen in love, not really, though Gabriel, young and naive and lonely after the disappearance of his father, had hoped desperately for there to be something there.

But Crowley hadn’t been after just Gabriel’s body, though that was certainly part of it, and lord the sex _had_ been great; no, Crowley was after his cunning. Crowley had used him, making Gabriel help him topple the rule of his mother, former Hell's Family leader, Rowena, and taking control. It was Gabriel who had helped him set up his famous network of spies, and Gabriel who helped keep him on top.

It was over after that, and Gabriel, young and naive, had been left heartbroken for a grand total of a week and a half. After that, he realized that he had been stupid to thinking that there was anything actually there to be salvaged and created. After that, he’d grown up, learned that he was better suited for the back alley fucking and the stumbling home drunk from speakeasies at three in the morning with a handsome bloke on his arm whose name he hadn’t even caught. Until he met Sam, anyways. But Gabriel kept the connection just in case.

Gabriel glared. “No need to be jealous, Fergus,” he responded. “If you remember, you were the one who ended our fun. It’s about time my broken heart healed.” He took a sip of his whiskey, the best as usual. “I need everything you have on my brothers. I need to take them down, both of them.”

Crowley stared at him for a moment. “Is the Moose worth that much to you?”

“I wouldn’t be here if he wasn't,” Gabriel replied “Come now. I know you have it. I don’t have the time for dawdle.”

“Tut tut, no foreplay. You haven’t changed,” Crowley teased him, rising from his desk and walking to one of his filing cabinets. “It’s going to cost you.”

“No it’s not,” Gabriel sipped his drink again. “You owe me for taking your mother down a peg. I can raise her back up as easily as I raised you.”

“Why, you-”

“I wasn’t finished,” Gabriel quieted him with a look. “But in my best interest, once they’re gone, I'll give you the Flats free and clear. All yours.”

The Flats were one of the docks where illegal booze got smuggled into the City. It was in the East Quadrant, but extremely close to Crowley’s holding. It would easily double his business.

Crowley regarded him for a second and slid the file across the desk. “This is everything I have on them. It’s been a pleasure, Gabriel, as always,”

Gabriel took the folder from him, and finished off his whiskey. “I’ll let myself out.”

 

~~~~

 

Sam wasn't sure how he'd managed to find himself unconscious, his memories hazy after the press of sharpened metal against his throat, but he awoke again to the splash of freezing water against his face.

Stinging his cheeks, his eyes, the inside of his nose, Sam’s head jerked up, letting out a small shout as he shook his head back and forth, slinging water from his hair. He instinctively went to run his hands over his face, through his hair, but he found his arms and legs bound, cuffed to a wooden chair.

Sam blinked away the water as he shivered, the cold air being what hit him next. As if the ice bath hadn't been enough, the winter air was no better. Sam struggled against his restraints as he slowly looked up, eyes still blurry and stinging with water and tears.

 _“Fuck.”_ Sam muttered, voice shaky as he regained himself. Once his sight was no longer too blurred to make out anything, he found himself face to face with the men that Gabriel had risked his life to protect him from.

Michael stood toward the back of the room, his arms crossed over his chest with what looked to be a permanent face of disapproval. Gabriel had coined the term ‘resting bitch-face’ once while in a long winded rant about his older brothers, and Sam could understand why. Sam wondered if he had ever smiled, or if he always looked like that.

Lucifer, however, was hovering over him, leaned forward with hands on his knees, smirk on his face and a devilish glint in his eyes. For the first time, Sam understood why they called him the Devil. He was beautiful. He was terrifying. Sam felt his heart stutter in his chest as he struggled to keep something of a poker face. He knew that showing fear was just what they wanted, and he wasn’t quite prepared to give them that satisfaction.

“Good morning, Sammy.” Lucifer sang out, voice eerie and way too damned cheery.

Sam remembered something that Gabriel had told him. He had mentioned never showing fear in the face of these monsters; they fed off of fear, lived off of it. Sam couldn't let himself be afraid.

“Morning, fellas.”

 

~~~~

 

Gabriel’s first stop was home. He needed to review what Crowley had given him before he made any moves, and put everything else in order. He had to make sure Castiel was safe, and then he could get to work.

He spread out the packet on the table, dividing the papers inside into two piles, one for each brother. At first, he was worried Crowley had only given him Lucifer, but as he got deeper into the file, things about Michael started to come to light. Gabriel read all of them with hungry eyes, desperate for what he needed to take them down and keep Sam safe.

His brothers had a finger in dealings all over the city, Gabriel found out, not only in their quadrant. They owned shares in businesses in the East Quadrant of the city, including Rossi’s and Purgatory, which didn’t surprise him. Gabriel looked through their holdings to find shares in his own name as well, used as shell accounts of the various companies his brothers owned.

Gabriel felt something drop inside of him when he got to the file simply labelled _”CHUCK SHURLY.”_

Gabriel opened it slowly to find all of the information that he had been searching for for so many years unravelled before his eyes. His dad, the man that had raised him, the man he had looked up to for so long, the man that he had aspired to be just like as a little boy… Dead. He’d known it all along, sure, knew that he wouldn’t just up and abandon him, but it still came with some crushing weight.

And it was his brothers who had done it. His brothers who had killed him, out of greed, or revenge, or what the fuck ever. Somehow it wasn't a shock. He’d known it for years now. Now he had the proof to back it up.

He made notes for himself, and then made a third pile, one he would give up Castiel for plan B.

Finally, he called his brother into the dining room,

“Cas,” He started, putting his hands on both of Cas’ shoulders. It was hard to put all of this on his brother, even though Cas knew more than most people. “I need you to do something for me. I'm going to try to talk reason to Michael and Luc, but I don't have high hopes. If I don't come back, here's what I want you to do.”

 

~~~~

 

“So _you're_ the boy my little brother has been so infatuated with.” Lucifer hissed, reaching up slowly and pushing back a strand of wet hair. Sam held back a hiss, not wanting to give him the reaction he was trying to provoke. “Always knew he was a queer. I would know.”

Lucifer's fingers threaded through Sam’s hair, the Devil’s touch much rougher and crueler than that of his brother’s. Sam kept his eyes trained on a long crack in the concrete wall in front of him. He wondered where they were and how they had gotten there, and where the hell they had taken his family, but he pushed away all thought and focused on the crack in the wall.

“You _are_ pretty, aren't you? Bit tall for my taste, but it makes sense with Gabriel and all of his obsession with our dear daddy. He needs someone big to… He needs someone big to manhandle him. _Punish_ him.” Lucifer chuckled, circling him. Sam knew all about Gabriel's now-mostly-dead hunt for his father, but…

Without preamble, Lucifer straddled Sam’s legs, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. The Devil’s fingers pulled tight through his hair, forcing Sam’s eyes away from the crack in the wall and up to his face. He was truly terrifying, eyes wild and a nearly crazed smile on his lips. His teeth clenched harder as the Devil shifted on his lap, rubbing himself against him in a way that made Sam want to puke.

“You’re pretty big, aren’t you, pretty? You like to fuck my little brother? Bet you could split him open real nicely. You’re fucking hung, aren’t you? I can feel it.” Lucifer teased, grinding down on his lap, like he was surveying what lay between his thighs. Sam couldn’t help but feel dirty. He felt filthy, like he was being soiled, taken advantage of. Gabriel was the only one who had ever touched him, and he felt dirty letting anyone else near him, even if he wasn’t exactly consenting.

The devil ran his fingers roughly through his hair. “Mmm… Or do you let him fuck you? You ever let Gabe fuck you? Let my little brother open you up and fuck you raw? Let him get you all dirty, mark you up? You let him come inside of you, fill you up with it? You like to be the bottom, pretty boy?” He inquired, voice sing-songy.

Sam refused to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. He stared at the crack in the concrete, wondering how it had gotten there, trying his hardest to ignore the man in front of him.

Lucifer gave an exaggerated shrug. “Either way, I bet you’re an excellent lay.” He mocked, and it took everything within the Winchester not to break his gaze at the wall.

“Maybe I should ruin you, pretty boy. Take what belongs to him. Make you mine.” Lucifer murmured, a single cold finger trailing down his chest, pulling down the collar of his shirt.

Sam clenched his jaw before finally turning to him, glaring before spitting into Lucifer’s face. Sam would not allow the Devil to touch him, take away his dignity. Lucifer rose to his feet roughly, looking almost _betrayed._ Sam didn't care. Whatever got him to move.

“Michael, knife.” Lucifer demanded. Michael complied, handing him a large blade. Lucifer’s fingers tugged through Sam’s hair again before pushing him back into his chair.

“Now _this_ is going to be so much fun.”

__

__~~~~_ _

__

After Gabriel explained what he needed Cas to do, he sent his brother away, told him to get somewhere safe. Gabriel was alone in the house for the first time in ages.

He’d grown up in the house, he thought, trailing a finger over the worn edge of the dining room table. So many plans had been made around this table, business deals, even sparse happy family memories before Michael and Lucifer had killed their father. Either way, he didn’t think he would ever see it again if either of his plans succeeded.

He went up stairs to his room and changed his clothes, opting for the suit he was wearing when he first met Sam, the day his life had changed forever. He thought it was appropriate. Gabriel walked back downstairs, not taking a last glance at his things. They didn’t matter anymore.

Nothing did, nothing except the safety of Sam, his family and Cas, and they were all safe from his brothers. There was nothing left to do now other than tracking down where his brothers had gone.

He hadn’t even begun to think when the phone rang, and Gabriel went to pick it up. What he was greeted with made him grow cold.

“Where _the fuck_ is he, you bastard? Where is my brother?” Dean screamed into the other end, so loud that Gabriel had to hold the phone away from his ear to avoid going deaf.

“What do you mean? He’s on the train with you!” Gabriel could hear his heart beating rapidly in his ears. He could feel the quickening thrum of his heart slamming in his chest, feel it pulsing through his body.

“Well the train just stopped and he’s not here.” Dean snarled. “I woke up and he was gone. He was fucking gone. How _the fuck_ does somebody just disappear off of a fucking train?”

Gabriel couldn’t breathe. It felt like everything was crashing down around him, like his world was imploding on him and he was suffocating beneath the weight of it. His hands knees began to give out beneath him. Sam…. they had him… they had to…

_His brothers had Sam._

His hands began to shake and his breathing grew unsteady, wheezing as he breathlessly croaked it out. “My brothers…” Gabriel wheezed into the phone. “They’ve got him.”

“If they hurt him, I’ll kill you, I’ll-”

“If they hurt him, I’ll do it myself,” Gabriel replied. “I think I know where they’ve brought him. We have a house in the country, where they bring the people they want to … interrogate.” He didn’t mention the lake nearby where they disposed of what was left after Lucifer had finished with them. “It’s about a half hour outside the city, in the town of Crawford Hall. I’m going now. I won’t let them hurt him, Dean.”

Gabriel hung up the phone, and walked to the dining room. He picked up the most important of the papers and tucked them into the pocket of his coat.

It was time to go.

 

~~~~

 

Sam’s jaw clenched tighter in attempt to muffle his screams, red flashing behind his eyes as the burn of heated metal dragged against his leg. He’d never taken torture like this before, slow and methodical, knowing right where to strike to get him to scream. He’d been beaten to a pulp before, had taken hits and blows for hours at a time, but they were messy and their attacks weren’t thought out. This… This was entirely planned.

But still, he didn’t budge. They didn’t want anything more than a reaction, and Sam refused to give that to them. He wouldn’t cower, he wouldn’t beg for mercy, he wouldn’t let them have his dignity. He had to stay strong. For Gabriel’s sake.

“Really, Sammy? Come on, give me _something_ I can work with. You know you want to say something. Beg for me to stop. I bet you’re pretty when you beg. You ever beg for my brother?” Lucifer hissed, taking a seat on his lap again, pressing heavily against the gash on his leg.

Sam refused to look directly at him, instead averting his eyes toward the crack in the wall that he’d been staring at since all of this had started.

“Come on, Sammy, I’m _bored.”_ He whined, much like a small child begging for attention.

Lucifer rocked forward, rubbing directly against the gash on his thigh. Sam struggled to hold back a pained noise, blinking back tears as he continued to stare at the cracked concrete, clenching his jaw so tightly that it hurt.

“One word and this stops. Just one little word. Just say ‘please’ and I’ll stop. One little p-word. Come on, Sammy…”

Sam pulled his head back and slammed it against Lucifer’s forehead, sending him tumbling back off of his lap and into the floor.

“I’ll give you a p-word. _Piss off.”_ Sam hissed.

Lucifer scowled as he rose to his feet, hand pressed against his forehead, tending to the wound that Sam had left there. The Winchester vaguely registered the ache in his own head, but he was too satisfied with himself to notice. However, it was a short-lived satisfaction that quickly turned to dread as Lucifer reached into his pocket and retrieved a small knife. He settled it between two fingers so that the tip of the blade poked out as he curled his hand into a fist.

Sam straightened in his seat and turned back toward the wall, eyes trained forward as Lucifer pulled his fist. Sam didn’t let out a sound as his fist made the first contact, the blade slicing into his cheek. He remained silent as Lucifer threw another punch, then another, not letting out a single noise as his face grew bloodier, not wanting to give him an ounce of satisfaction.

“Stop.” Michael instructed from the other end of the room, raising a hand. Lucifer threw a final punch before standing straight, slipping the knife back into his pocket, taking a step toward a desk and grabbing a rag to wipe the blood off of his hand.

Sam could hardly see, blood and sweat dripping in his eyes, but he could see well enough. Michael moved from his place in the corner for the first time since all of this had started. Sam watched as he reached for a vial on the table, pulling it to his face and studying it for a moment before taking a step toward him. Sam’s breath caught in his throat as Michael stepped behind him and pushed the needle into the side of his neck, emptying the vial of orange fluid into his bloodstream.

“If we’re not going to break him physically, let’s see what we can do to his mind.” Michael said to Lucifer before turning to him, leaning down in front of him. “We’ll see how long you hold up.”

 

~~~~

 

Gabriel had never driven so fast in his life. He tended to prefer the feel of riding in the back seat of a cab rather than being behind the wheel himself. His mind was racing as he sped from street to street, road to road towards his brothers and Sam.

He didn’t want to think what kind of torture they were subjecting his lover to, but he couldn’t help it. After his father disappeared, they’d forced him to come with them to the country house, claiming they were trying to toughen him up. Along with their unfortunate victim, they’d taken him down to the basement and strapped the man into a chair.

It was then when he’d first seen the sadistic streak in both his brothers. It had been Lucifer with the knives, carving into their victim’s flesh, but it was Michael’ that called the shots, Michael who made the choice when it was time for the end. Michael even personally decided where to dump the bodies. He began to distance himself from them after that, and he never again went to their country house.

He knew Sam was in that place right now, tied to a chair in the basement, with his brothers standing over him. He knew they had already started on him, and his stomach was queasy at the thought. It made him sick to think of Sam’s body under Lucifer’s knife, under Michael’s sadistic control.

If it was the last thing he did, he was going to save Sam Winchester

He parked the car in a glen near the house, and moved to the backseat. Assessing his options, he tucked a revolved into his waistband and strapped a knife against his calf.

He’d spent summers here as a child, and even now, he knew the woods surrounding them like the back of his hand. He made his way through them quickly and quietly, until he got to the house.

He didn’t dare go through the front door. There was a chance Michael and Lucifer had brought someone else with them, so he sidled around the side of the house, until he came to the back door, covered in ivy. No one ever used it, and it couldn’t be seen unless you knew it was there. Taking his pins out of his pocket, Gabriel picked the lock on the back door and slipped inside, tip-toeing down the stairs with his weapon drawn.

Sam was tied to a chair in the middle of the room, just like he’d thought, bloody and beaten. One eye was black, there was blood crusted around his nose, and there were cuts on his face. Lucifer had also cut his pants away revealing several angry looking gashes on his legs.

Lucifer and Michael were just watching Sam now, and Gabriel spotted the empty syringe on the table, glinting in the harsh light.

Gabriel stepped in the room. “Let him go.”

 

~~~~

 

_He stood on the porch, feeling the rickety wood beneath his feet. It was wet, and Sam could feel it cave slightly beneath his feet. It was old, like this home had been built decades ago and no one had exactly bothered with upkeep. Sam almost didn’t feel safe standing there, feeling like it could cave at any given moment._

_The sky was dark, and there were no stars out tonight. They were masked by clouds as the rain broke free, pouring from the sky. Sam’s eyes turned toward the sky, watching as the raindrops splashed against his face, washing away the blood and sweat, leaving him almost clean._

_There were lights and sirens, though he wasn’t sure where they were coming from. He turned and looked around, finding police and paramedics flooding the driveway. Sam suddenly felt his heart skip in his chest._

_How had he gotten here?_

_He couldn’t remember. He couldn’t remember what had happened. He couldn’t remember why he was suddenly standing on a porch in front of a house that he didn’t recognize. He couldn’t remember why there were ambulances and police. He didn’t know how he’d gotten there. He didn’t remember anything after Lucifer had taken to beating the shit out of him…_

_Suddenly, Dean was standing next to him, and Sam couldn’t remember how he’d gotten there. He looked tired, sad, even, though Sam didn’t know why. Couldn’t remember why._

_“I’m so sorry, Sammy. I know that you loved him.”_

_Sam’s heart stopped and he suddenly knew what had happened. Fear ran cold through his body, leaving him almost numb as his knees grew weak and his hands trembled. His eyes darted around, fears only confirmed as they pulled a body bag out of the house, just about Gabriel’s size._

_Gabriel was dead._

_Sam let out a scream like hell before he could even register the fact that he’d opened his mouth. He wanted to run to him, wanted to pull him out of the bag and will him to live again, will him to breathe, will him to wake up. But he couldn’t. His knees gave out beneath him as he collapsed, letting out an agonized cry, screaming to the heavens before letting out a sob. He was supposed to come home. He was supposed to be okay._

_Dean reached down and squeezed Sam’s shoulder when he noticed something wrong._

_It felt like a lifetime ago now, but it had been more like hours, perhaps days at most. But it hadn’t been long enough for it to have healed. And yet, Sam felt nothing, no dull ache or sharp sting from the bruise that Gabriel had marked him with._

_He pushed Dean’s hand away and pulled back his shirt to reveal bare flesh. No bruise, no mark, no indication that Gabriel had ever touched him._

_This wasn’t real._

 

_~~~~_

Sam’s head felt like it had been filled with lead when he opened his eyes. Had his throat not felt like it’d been filled with cotton, he would’ve screamed, but he instead kept quiet as he pieced together what had happened. The train, Lucifer, the torture…

His eyes turned toward the door in front of him, Lucifer and Michael turned away from him, huddled in the corner around another person, though Sam couldn’t quite see who it was, vision still blurred.

Lucifer took a step toward Gabriel, devilish smirk playing over his lips.

“Hi there, little brother.” The Devil greeted with a smirk playing on his lips.

“Let him go,” Gabriel repeated, staring deep into Lucifer’s eyes. He hardly recognized them now. They were the same sky blue that they had been as kids, sure, but whatever was behind them, the madness, the insanity, that was something that Gabriel didn’t know. Didn’t recognize. He knew one thing for certain. The man who stood before him now was no longer his brother. He cocked his gun, aiming it directly at his chest. “Now.”

He wasn’t going to play with his brother. He knew that they expected him to, and he wanted to catch them off guard. He would offer them a way out, but he would not bed. If it came down to it, he would shoot them. Of that, he was sure.

“I won’t ask again, Lucifer,” Gabriel insisted, glaring at him. “I’m not fucking playing. I’ll-”

“You’ll what, Gabriel?” Michael scoffed, stepping toward him and crossing his arms, looking bored with his little brother’s antics. “That’s right. You won’t do anything. You don’t have the heart to shoot us. You’re just like Father.”

Gabriel turned toward the eldest Novak, but kept his gun aimed at Lucifer, knowing who was the bigger threat. “Don’t you dare,” he snarled, suddenly feeling the sting of the loss of his father. “Not after what you did.”

“What we did?” Michael drawled, offering a smile. There was no warmth in it at all; it was too toothy, a predator's smile right before he tore into his prey. “Nothing you can prove.”

It was Gabriel’s turn to smirk. “Until now. You’d be surprised what old romantic attachments can get you. I know everything, Michael. I even know where you buried him.”

Michael’s smile dropped, replaced by a cold admiration. “And what are you going to do with that knowledge, brother?” he responded through gritted teeth.

“That depends.” Gabriel replied, his eyes darting between his brothers. “I’ll do nothing with it, provided you let Sam go and leave. Take your shit and get outta town, forever.”

“And what if we refuse?” Michael used a look that once would have leveled him, but Gabriel challenged with one of his own.

“If you refuse? I kill Lucifer,” he shrugged. “And you? You, I’ll hand over to Dean Winchester. He’s very keen to pay you back for his family.”

“You aren’t a killer, Gabriel,” Michael said flatly. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, wouldn’t I?”

He couldn’t let them think he was playing. He _wasn’t_ playing. Gabriel turned quickly and pulled the trigger, grazing Lucifer’s cheek, careful not to hit Sam. He was never good with a gun, had always had shaky hands, but he hit his mark. To his brother’s credit, though, he barely even flinched.

“Your choice, Michael. This could have been avoided if you hadn’t taken him.”

Michael’s facade cracked. His smirk dropped and he was left with an angry look burning in his eyes, like he was ready to snap at any second. “You disloyal...”

“Oh, I’m loyal,” Gabriel hissed back at him, pointing the gun at Michael. “I’m loyal to him, to them. And you destroyed my family the day you murdered Dad. Make your choice.”

Lucifer snarled before pulling the knife from his pocket, the wound on his cheek stinging slightly as he turned away from his little brother. He turned toward Sam, slumped in his chair, hair hanging in his face, eyes opened slightly. Pretty boy was coming back to the sound of his lover’s voice. The devil was grateful for that. He would be awake to witness what was going to happen to him. This was what he got for fooling around with a Novak.

“You know, Gabe, I don’t think you’ve got the balls to do anything with that information that you’ve gotten your hands on. Because if we go down, you’re going down with us. You’re no better than either of us. And I sure as hell know that you, little brother, are not a killer. No matter how many shots you take, you’re not going to kill me.” He mused, strolling toward Sam.

Sam’s eyes turned toward the man in the doorway. Gabriel stood there, gun in hand, aiming toward Lucifer, and for a moment, Sam thought that he was still under the influence of whatever the hell they had injected into him. But he felt pain. The stinging in his legs, the ache in his head… It was all there. He could feel everything. He was awake.

And Gabriel was there.

“Let’s face it, Gabriel. You’re not going to take the shot, and you’re not going to call any police on us. You wouldn’t take yourself down. I know you. You’re as selfish as Michael and I. And you’re not going to kill us. We’re your brothers. We’re _blood_. You might be infatuated with the Winchester boy, but you are not going to be a traitor to your blood. You’re all talk.” The Devil continued, circling the chair where Sam sat as he played with the knife between his fingers.

Sam’s eyes trained on Gabriel, the fear that he’d been suppressing suddenly taking him over, terrified that the scene that had played out so vividly in his mind might come true. Lucifer and Michael were going to kill him.

His eyes were jerked away from Gabe’s as Lucifer ran his fingers through Sam’s hair and pulled, baring his throat. Sam’s jaw clenched tight, hands balling into fists behind his back as he struggled to keep a stone face, not letting the Devil see his fear.

“Here’s what’s going to happen, little brother. I’m going to take this knife, and I’m going to slit his throat. More specifically, I’m going to slice his carotid, and he’s going to bleed out on the floor. You’re going to try and save him, and I’m going to let you, but there’s nothing that you’ll be able to do about it. Your dear Sammy Winchester is going to die in your arms. And then you’re going to come home with Michael and I, and things are going to be business as usual. You are not going to shoot me, and you are not going to turn us in, because you don’t have the spine. I know you, Gabriel. You can’t run anymore, so you’re going to come home like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs, and you’re going to do exactly what you’ve always done.” Lucifer mused, pressing the blade against Sam’s neck, pressing a little harder with each word.

Gabriel didn’t hesitate anymore. He fired two quick shots, right into Lucifer’s chest, and watched his brother fall to the floor, the knife he held clattering under Sam’s chair. Michael made a move, but Gabriel pointed the gun at him.

“Don’t move, Michael,” He snarled, breathing heavily. He’d just shot his brother, and the gravity of what he’d done pounded in his ears. “Don’t make me shoot you too, because I will.”

His knees felt wobbly as he bent to examine the ropes that were holding Sam to the chair. “Are you okay?” he whispered, looking over Sam’s face, and his swollen black eye. “I’m so sorry, Samm-” he couldn’t say Sammy anymore, not without thinking of the tone his brother had used it. It made him sick to think of what his lover had been subjected to.

Sam gave him a weak smile. Gabriel was there. Gabriel was standing next to him, Gabriel had come to his rescue. He wanted to lean over and wrap his arms tight around the smaller man, disregard the blood and the pain. He just wanted to hold tight to his lover. His husband.

” _Gabe_.” Sam croaked.

Gabriel was about to untie him when the doors burst open, followed by police officers with guns. At least a dozen of them flooded the room, with Cas and Dean in tow.

“Put the gun down, Novak,” one of the officers called at Gabriel, pointing his gun at his chest. “Put it down and get on the ground.”

Another officer grabbed Michael and was putting him in handcuffs. Gabriel watched as his brother was hustled out of the room.

“I’m gunna ask you again, Mr. Novak. Put the gun down,”

Gabriel did as he was told, putting the gun between his feet, but he wouldn’t get on the ground. He turned to Sam, putting his hand to the uninjured part of his face. “I got you, Sam. You’re safe, okay?”

An officer took Gabriel’s gun, and tore him away from Sam, shoving him onto the ground. “Gabriel Novak, you’re under arrest for the murder of Ellen and Joanna Harvelle-”

“Sam!” Gabriel struggled to get away from the man, back where he had been at Sam’s side. That was where he belonged. He belonged at Sam Winchester’s side. He struggled, fought against the police, fought against the whole damn world. He needed to be next to Sam, needed to fix this, needed to make this better. “Let me go, I need-”

“And the murder of Lucifer Novak, and as an accessory to the murder of Chuck Shurley.”

Sam wrestled against the restraints that still tied him to the chair, Gabriel only having cut one hand free. His head was so clouded from the drugs and everything that was happening that he couldn’t seem to get the knot undone, and the officers were too busy trying to drag Gabriel from the room to help.

“ _Please_ , no, there’s been a mistake, he didn’t… _Gabe!”_ Sam shouted, begging for them to listen, but the officers were too preoccupied to care about anything but getting Gabriel out of the room.

He couldn’t let them take him. Not now, not after all of this. Sam couldn’t let Gabriel leave his side, never again, not after all of this. He had been through hell and Gabriel Novak was his only saving grace. Gabriel was his heaven in the pits of hell, his angel in the grips of the devil. And they were trying to take him away. They were trying to rip his angel away from him.

“Sam! I need to- _Let go!”_ He begged, voice cracking. Gabriel fought tooth and nail against the officer, but he was pinned to the ground, as the man wrestled handcuffs around his wrists. “Please…I have to... _Sam!”_

Another officer stepped in to help and hauled Gabriel to his feet as if he weighed nothing more than a sack of potatoes. “You have the right to remain silent...”

_“Sam!”_

Sam pulled against the rope, wanting to run to him, pull him into his arms and never let go. It was never supposed to go down this way. Lucifer was dead, Michael was in cuffs… That was supposed to be where it ended. It was over; they couldn’t take Gabriel with them now that it was finally over. They couldn’t have him.

 _“Please,_ you’ve made a mistake!” Sam sobbed, finally pulling his hand free and rising to his feet. His legs would’ve been weak if not for the adrenaline pumping through his veins, numbing him to the pain.

He felt that familiar ache in his shoulder as a firm hand slammed down on it, shoving him back into his chair. Sam barely had time to register it as one of the two officers raised his gun, and he couldn’t hear Gabriel’s shrieking over the static in his ears for a long moment.

“Sammy’s right, boys. You _have_ made a mistake. One too many murders on Gabby’s record. I’m not quite dead yet.” Lucifer hissed, coughing up blood.

He had two bullet holes in his chest, but they weren’t enough to kill him immediately, completely missing his heart. It reminded him of why Gabriel was never their hitman. Aside from being entirely too squeamish, he really was a lousy shot. They were lethal shots, but not enough to kill him right away. Lucifer had no doubt in his mind that he was going to die. But two bullets to the chest was a little anticlimactic - he was going to go out with a bang.

“You really should’ve gone for the headshot, Gabe.”

Sam froze, unable to move, unable to run, unable to fight. He could barely hear Gabriel’s screaming as they struggled to pull him out the door. He could barely hear the gunshots ringing through the air. He could barely feel the cold metal as it pressed into his chest. He could barely feel the bullets ripping through his body.

The officer sent two more rounds into the Devil’s chest, enough to put an end to his reign of terror, but Lucifer was not one to go out without a grand finale. Sam vaguely registered the blood trickling from the wounds in his chest, spilling onto his shirt as the corners of his vision began to go black.

“SAM!”

Gabriel was being dragged up the stairs when he heard the gunshots, and turned to find Sam slumping to the ground, with blood staining his shirt. He let out a scream like hell, unable to think, unable to breathe, unable to think of anything except for Samuel Winchester. Nothing mattered except for Sam. He tried to pull from the officer’s grip, dragging him a couple feet in his desperation to get to Sam.

This was all his fault, everything. It was his fault Sam had been dragged into this, that Sam was bleeding on the floor, because he was a coward. He couldn’t shoot his own brother in the head, and now Sam could die because of him.

“Please,” he sobbed, slipping to the floor, falling to his knees. “I’ll go with you, just let me see him…just let me say goodbye... Let me say goodbye, I love him, _please.”_

The officer ignored him and dragged into this feet again. “Time to go,” he said gruffly.

Gabriel watched as Dean and Cas rushed over to Sam, Dean pressing a rag to the chest wound that was coloring his shirt red. He looked lifeless, all of the color draining from his face. He looked _dead._

The officers managed to drag Gabriel up the stairs, and out the front door, with Gabriel screaming the entire way.

“Sam!” He cried, his throat raw from screaming. “Please… is he… did he… Please? He can’t be… _please.”_

They hauled him down the front porch, towards the street and into a waiting police car. Gabriel pressed his face against the glass, trying to catch anything that would suggest that Sam was okay, anything. But the car started up and pulled away from the house, driving back towards the city.

He never saw the doctor come in.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 Playlist
> 
> [Part 1](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-10-part-1)
> 
> 1\. Only the Lonely - Frank Sinatra  
> 2\. The Ghost of You - My Chemical Romance  
> 3\. Goner - Twenty One Pilots  
> 4\. Staying Up - The Neighbourhood  
> 5\. Haunting - Halsey   
> 6\. Why Am I the One - Fun.   
> 7\. Neptune - Sleeping at Last  
> 8\. All Time Low - Jon Bellion  
> 9\. Are You Lonesome Tonight? - Elvis Presley
> 
> [Part 2](http://8tracks.com/sirius-canismajoris/good-little-bad-little-you-chapter-10-part-2)
> 
> 1\. Infinity - AJR  
> 2\. Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur  
> 3\. Turning Page - Sleeping at Last  
> 4\. A Thousand Years - Christina Perri  
> 5\. All My Heart - Sleeping with Sirens  
> 6\. Happy - Leona Lewis  
> 7\. If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn - Sleeping with Sirens  
> 8\. You Make Me Feel so Young - Frank Sinatra

Sam Winchester’s heart stopped beating at 10:44PM on November 22nd, 1928. 

Dean had screamed and begged, begging his little brother to wake up, to be alright. Doctors had struggled to drag him away, but the elder Winchester was having none of it, refusing to leave his little brother’s side. Castiel Novak had stood next to the elder Winchester through it all, keeping calm composure while he silently melted down on the inside, hoping and praying that Sam Winchester would somehow make it back for the sake of his brother. He’d already lost Lucifer and Michael, and without Sam, Gabriel would never find the will to fight again, that much was certain. And as the doctors flooded around the Winchester boy, the Boy King lay dying, Castiel wondered if two people lay dying instead of one. 

Sam Winchester’s heart started beating again at 11:01PM on November 22nd, 1928 after 17 minutes of chest compressions. 

He woke up two days later. 

Dean was at his bedside, his head resting against Sam’s arm. Castiel sat opposite of Dean on the other side of the bed; Sam had never really met Castiel. He'd seen him from the corner of his eye while on his rampage at the Novak compound after Ellen and Jo’s death, and he saw him rush in with Dean and the police, but he'd never really gotten to meet his lover’s little brother. Sam looked for similarities between Castiel and Gabriel, but there weren't really any. Castiel’s hair was dark, almost black, and his eyes were bright blue. His face was more squared off, and he was a good four or five inches taller than Gabe. If he'd never known them, he wouldn't even suspect that they were brothers. 

“Dean…” Sam croaked out. His throat felt like it was on fire. 

Dean’s head rose, green eyes finding Sam’s. He looked like he'd been crying, and like he hadn't gotten a decent night’s sleep in days. He stared for a moment before a smile spread over his lips, rising from his chair and throwing his arms around Sam’s shoulders, pulling him up into a tight hug. 

“Goddammit, Sammy… Don't scare me like that ever again.” Dean whispered. 

Sam flinched slightly at the sound of his nickname, remembering the way that it had sounded on Lucifer’s tongue. He gulped down hard, blinking back memories before nodding slightly. He wanted to reach up and wrap his arms back around his brother, but everything ached, everything burned. Dean slowly pulled him out of his chest, running a hand through his hair. 

“Where's Gabe?” Sam croaked. The lines between reality and twisted fantasy were blurring, and he couldn't quite remember what had happened. He remembered the torture. The nightmares. But after that, everything just sort of began to run together. He couldn't remember whether the man he loved so much, so desperately, was dead or alive. 

Dean looked toward Castiel for a moment, eyes looking somewhere before worried and sad. Sam’s heart dropped, hands trembling at his brother’s reaction. Sam’s first thoughts were _he's dead._ Dead, murdered by his own brothers, ripped away from him. 

_“No.”_ Sam breathed, eyes wide as he clutched at the sheets. 

“Shh, Sam, he's okay. He's alive.” Dean reassured. 

“Where is he?” Sam begged, lip quivering. 

“They arrested him. He couldn't… He incriminated himself when he turned in Michael and Lucifer. Some of the charges were bogus; Lucifer and Michael were good at their jobs. Framed him for some of their crimes. Others were real. But they… They took him in. If he's found guilty, he's going away for life, Sammy.” 

Sam’s chest ached, entire body trembling. It wasn't supposed to end like this. Knowing that Gabriel was alive, rotting away in a prison cell, his freedom taken from him… The thought was almost unbearable. It wasn't his fault. He didn't choose this life for himself; he'd been forced into it. And now he had no chance of escape. 

His blood boiled. He wasn't sad. He wasn't broken-hearted and miserable like he had been before. No, he was _angry._ Pissed. Gabriel was the victim, not the perpetrator. He didn't deserve any of this. 

Burning in his chest, behind his eyes, in his bones, Sam reached for whatever he could find and threw it across the room. The only thing in reach was a pillow, which slammed against the wall before falling onto the floor, doing no damage. It wasn't satisfying, but he didn't know what else to do. Everything burned inside of him, and he didn't know how to get it out. He didn't know how to fix it. 

“Shh… Sam. It's okay. It's okay.” Dean tried to sooth him, but it solved nothing. 

He would never get to hold Gabriel in his arms again. Never get to sleep next to him and wake up to him again the next day. He'd never get to taste his lips again. He'd never savor the feeling of Gabriel moving inside of him again, never get to pin his lover to the bed and make love to him over and over again… The physical aspect of their relationship would be over. And even if they had letters, it would never be the same as whispered words and stories as they struggled to stay awake… It would never be the same. 

“It's okay, Sam…” Dean whispered, trying to console him as the bitter tears began to stream from his eyes. 

 

~~~~

 

Gabriel’s first few days in prison were torture. Prison as a place wasn’t all that bad, there were three meals a day, and a warm place to sleep. But he didn’t know whether Sam was alive or dead. 

He’d accomplished what he meant to, dethroning his brothers, and he’d always knew there’d be a risks, but having Sam die was not one of them. Sam was supposed to be safe in Lebanon, and if anyone was dying, it was supposed to be a Novak. Never Sam. Now Sam could be dead because he was a selfish coward, who was a lousy shot. 

Without Sam, without his brothers, he had nothing to go home to. Cas didn’t need him anymore. He prayed before he went to sleep each night, even though he’d never prayed before in his life, for God to take him in place of Sam. He’d gladly die if it meant that Sam got to live free and clear. He knew it didn’t quite work that way, that his life probably wasn’t worth anywhere near what he would need in terms of cosmic karma to bargain with. 

The other inmates left him to himself mostly, being familiar with his reputation and that of his family. They wouldn’t even talk to him, or make eye contact with him. 

“Novak,” One of the guards broke him for his own mind as he sat in his cell. “Someone here to see you.” 

Gabriel was led to one of the shabby visitors rooms, where Cas was was waiting for him. He searched his face, but trying to get anything from Cas was like trying to squeeze blood from a stone. 

“Sam,” was the first word out of Gabriel’s mouth. 

“He’s alive,” Castiel responded, and Gabriel let out a breath he felt like he had been holding since the day they dragged him away from Sam. “He’s still in the hospital, but he’ll be okay. The doctors say he should be able to go home in a few days.” 

It took every fiber in Gabriel’s being not to dissolve in a flood of tears, but he couldn’t afford the moment of weakness. Not here. “Thank God,” He breathed, releasing a breath that he’d been holding since the police had dragged him away. Sam was alive, and that was the only thing that mattered to him. As long as Sam was okay, it didn’t matter what happened to him. “As long as he’s safe that’s all that matters.” 

“I’m not sure he agrees with that,” Cas remarked. “He was unhappy when he woke up. He wants you there with him.” 

“He’s better off without me,” Gabriel sighed, no matter how much it broke his heart to say it. It was true, after all. Sam deserved better. But it broke Gabriel’s heart to say those words, to a point where he couldn’t look at his own brother. “He’ll realize that eventually. I’m going away for a long time, Cas. Might not see the light of day again. I don’t want him waiting. He deserves to be happy.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure Gabriel,” Castiel offered him a small smile. “I hired you a lawyer, supposedly the best in the city.” 

Gabriel finally made eye contact with him. “Don’t waste money on me, Cas. I knew this was a possibility when I asked you to get the police. I’ll serve my time. I can’t have you going broke because of me.” 

“Please talk to him. He thinks there’s a pretty good chance he can get you out.” Cas insisted. “If for nothing else, do it for Sam. He’s miserable, even I can see that.” 

Gabe felt a sharp pang in his chest at the thought of Sam sad. He’d been miserable in that month apart, and that had only been one month. How would he survive years? Gabriel let out a humorless chuckle, trying to bring some lightness to the situation. “Fine. We’ll see, but I don’t have high hopes.” 

A guard poked his head into the room. “Time’s up, gotta go.” 

Cas stood and Gabriel followed him to the door. He pulled his brother into a tight hug, the younger man’s arms tight around him. Gabriel let out a sigh and gave the first genuine smile since this had began. He hadn’t felt the touch of another person since Sam had pulled him into a kiss at the train station, hadn’t even been able to hold him after his brothers had tortured him. He needed the reassurance of another person’s arms wrapped around him for just a moment. 

“Take care of him, Cas.” 

 

~~~~

 

Dean took him home after two weeks in the hospital. Dean had cleaned it out, bought new furniture to replace everything that he had broken after Ellen and Jo’s deaths. Sam had nearly broken down again at the realization that the couch he had lost his virginity on was gone, but Dean assured him that he'd just moved it down to the basement. 

Sam tried sleeping in his own room the first night, but he could still smell Gabriel in his sheets. He had cried until he was dry heaving, until he was hardly able to breathe, until Dean held him until he stopped. Dean immediately moved him downstairs, fearing that Sam would tear his stitches. He had moved down to the basement, sleeping on the busted couch most of the day, rarely leaving the basement. 

Six weeks after he'd come home, Sam went down to the county jail. His legs shook as he stepped through the doors, asking for Gabriel Novak, voice shaking as he spoke his full name for the first time since waking up. The man at the desk disappeared for a moment before coming back and informing him that he wasn't non-family visitors. 

He tried to protest. He couldn't use the word ‘husband,’ but he had wanted so desperately to. He had begged and bargained and bribed, but he'd had no luck, eventually being escorted by the security guards. He walked home, heart heavy in his chest, returning to his couch. 

He hadn't left the couch ever since. 

“Sam, come on. You gotta eat.” Dean urged from the doorway. 

Sam shifted away from him. He hadn’t eaten much of a thing since leaving the hospital, only when his brother had essentially forced him to eat something. He didn’t want to eat, didn’t want to move, didn’t want to _live._ He wanted to waste away until there was nothing left. 

“Sammy, come on.” 

He flinched at the nickname, forced back into his memories before he forced them away. Dean had been calling him that name since they were children, as long as he could remember. Gabriel had been calling him that since they had first gotten together, in the throes of passion, in the aftermath of their lovemaking… And all of the happy associations that he had made with that name had crumbled due to a few hours spent at the mercy of the devil. 

“I know it hurts, but you can't do this to yourself. You're gunna kill yourself.” 

“Don't care.” Sam grumbled. 

“Sam, this is precisely the opposite of what Gabriel wanted. He wants you to be happy. He wants you to be strong.” Castiel interjected from the stairway. 

Cas had been staying with them these past few weeks, he and Dean immediately forming a close bond. Sam had hardly noticed, though, hardly noticing anything outside of his own head. 

“I _can't.”_ Sam whispered. How could they expect him to just act like there was nothing wrong when the man that he loved so much was rotting behind prison bars? “I can't just let him go, Dean. It's not like he's _dead._ I just… He's not with me. He's trapped and I can't get to him. I can't even _see him._ They won't let me through. If he were dead, maybe I could learn to move on because he wouldn't be coming back. He'd be _gone._ But he's not gone. He's not gone and he's not here and I'm _stuck._ I'm _stuck,_ Dean.”

Dean let out a defeated sigh. He would be right back at it again the next day, and the day after that, until he finally said _‘fuck it’_ and left Sam to his own devices. And Sam waited for that day to come, waiting for the day that they let him self-destruct, because god knew he wanted to. He watched as they stood up and left before rolling onto his side and letting the dark take him again. 

 

~~~~

 

Castiel hadn't been lying about the lawyer he hired for Gabriel. Balthazar Roche might not have been conventional but he knew what he was doing in a courtroom. He'd managed to convince the DA to have a meeting with Gabriel to try and work out a deal. 

Gabriel was brought the district attorney's office in the back of a police car. His legs and hands were shackled, and he had to have an officer with him at all times, but it was something. For once, he had hope.

He was seated in a sparse interrogation room and Balthazar and the assistant DA, Samandriel Johnson came in a couple minutes later. 

“So your attorney tells me you had some information for me, Mr. Novak. Is that true?” Mr. Johnson asked, looking at Gabriel down his nose. 

The young man didn't even look like he should be out of college, let alone law school. But Gabriel let his need to comment subside. “I do. I can help you put my brother Michael Novak away, forever.” He promised, licking his lips, trying to seem as professional as possible. “For a price.” 

Samandriel looked like he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “What would that be?” 

Gabriel looked at Balthazar for confirmation. They'd talked about this beforehand, and Balthazar felt there was a good chance that this could work. Gabriel knew the ins and outs of his brother’s business, knew of all of his crimes, knew everything that they could ever need to get him locked away for life. “Full immunity,” Gabriel said confidently. “Also, Lucifer’s death was in the defense of Sam Winchester. And I had nothing to do with the deaths of Ellen and Jo Harvelle, or my dad, Chuck Shurly. I can prove it, I have an alibi.” 

“Full immunity is a hefty price, Mr. Novak, even without the murder charges.” Samandriel replied. “Your information better be good.” 

“I have all you'll ever need to put him away for killing my father. I can give you everything on the money laundering and racketeering charges, plus I can give you their suppliers. I'll testify, in open court. Full immunity.” 

Gabriel held his breath as the DA considered their offer, and Balthazar smiled at him. This was a reach and Gabriel knew it. Full immunity was doubtful, and even if he could cut a deal, he would probably be seeing the inside of a prison cell for a few years. Long enough for Sam to move on. And in his head, he knew that was for the best, and that Sam should move on, be happy, even if it wasn’t with him. But in his selfish heart, he didn’t want him to move on. 

Samandriel sighed and turned to Gabriel, and then Balthazar. “And your attorney agrees with this?” 

“Who do you think came up with it?” Balthazar quipped, winking at Gabriel. “My client and I have discussed the terms for his cooperation. Do you want him or not?” 

“Can I have a minute with my supervisors?” Samandriel asked, rising from his seat. 

“By all means,” Balthazar waved him out, and gave Gabriel a look, that said _‘told you so’_

Gabriel cracked his knuckles as he waited. He had tried to keep his hopes down, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself from daydreaming about it, praying to gods that he didn’t believe in that he would be able to walk out of those doors a free man again. The moment that he was free, he vowed himself to run back to Sam Winchester, take all of the pain that he had caused away. He wanted nothing more. 

Samandriel returned a couple minutes later with a small grin before holding out a hand for Gabriel to take. 

“You have yourselves a deal.” 

 

~~~~

 

Sam's eyes were trained on the silver band around his finger, watching it glint in the diluted sunlight that shone through the small, dusty window. His eyes were burning, head aching, body aching. He was pressing down hard against his shoulder, forcing the bruise there to deepen, refusing to let it heal. He did whatever he could to keep the remnants of Gabriel alive. 

There was a small knock against the wall as two sets of footsteps made their way down the stairs. Dean and Cas, Sam assumed. He didn't even bother to look up, keeping his eyes on the battered silver. 

“Sammy,” Dean called, earning a small flinch in return. “Shit, sorry, _Sam,_ uh… You've got a visitor.” 

Sam shifted even further away from him. He didn't want any visitors. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He wanted to be left alone with his ring and his bruises and his memories. 

“They can fuck off.” Sam mumbled. 

“You're really gonna want to see em, Sam.” Dean coaxed. 

“I don't want visitors.” 

“Sam, _please.”_

With a groan, Sam rolled toward the doorway. His eyes found Dean first, who was leaning against the railing of the staircase. He looked happier than he had in weeks, which immediately struck Sam as odd. 

Then his eyes found the man standing against the wall, wearing a small smirk. He stood with one foot pressed against the wall, hat down over his face, looking the same way that he had looked the first night that Sam had met him. 

_“Gabe?”_ He breathed. 

Gabriel looked up and smiled at him, not caring anymore about how he looked. He shimmied past Dean and launched himself onto the couch. He didn’t care that Dean was there, the only thing he cared about now was Sam. Sam, who was healthy, and whole, and not dead. Sam, who came alive under his fingers as he pulled him up to kiss him. 

He crashed his lips into Sam’s wanting to taste him, sliding his tongue between his lips. His hands cupped Sam’s cheeks, kissing up until he could no longer breath. “God, you are bad at following my instructions,” he laughed, before diving in again. He couldn’t get enough of him. “I missed you.”’

Gabriel looked terrible. He’d lost weight in prison, his ribs showing and knobs of his spine visible. He’d hardly eaten a thing, and Sam looked much in the same, looking sick and pale and malnourished. Gabe’s suits hung loose on him now, and Sam’s clothes made him look like a toddler the way he was swimming in them, but he didn’t care. 

Behind them, Dean cleared his throat, and Sam and Gabriel turned to look at him. Gabriel knew how they must look to Dean, eyes blown wide, faces flushed. After years and years of being told that this was some deadly sin, he knew it must have been uncomfortable for the elder Winchester. But he didn’t care. 

“I’ll just… I’ll just be going then…..gunna go grab a bite to eat.” Dean trailed off, staring at the floor. He turned quickly and took the stairs two at a time, slamming the door behind him. 

Sam let out a chuckle at his brother’s discomfort, turning back to Gabriel. He curled his fingers around the sides of the smaller man’s face, claiming his lips again, pulling him close. He tasted like whiskey and smoke and sunshine, just like he always did. Despite looking thinner now, he was still Gabriel, coming alive beneath his fingertips. The two of them had been dead inside without each other, the walking dead shuffling among the living, finally brought back to life at the sight of each other. At the brush of lips over lips and skin against skin.

“I’m so sorry, Sam,” Gabriel apologized, moving to kiss the scars on his face. As happy as he was to see Sam again, he felt the crush of guilt weighing down on him at the sight of his freshly-healed scars. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” 

He trailed down, working each button on Sam’s shirt slowly, revealing the bullet scars in his chest. Tears welled up in his eyes as he ran his thumbs over the puckered red flesh. He pressed his head to Sam’s chest. 

“You could have died. This is my fault.” 

Sam let out a sigh as his head hit the arm of the chair, his hands running through Gabriel’s hair. He had known all along that Gabe would blame himself, even though he had been the hero of this story. Gabriel had saved him, _shot his brother_ for him. Sam blamed him for none of it, but he knew that Gabe was going to torment himself with guilt every time he looked at the scars on his chest. 

“I don't blame you for any of it, Gabe. This isn't on you. Your brothers are the only ones to blame.” Sam reassured, running a hand up and down Gabe’s back. “They’re the ones that hurt me. This isn’t your fault. You saved my life.”

Sam slowly pulled Gabriel’s eyes up to meet his, taking them in. They were the same eyes that still haunted his dreams, the same eyes that Sam had memorized over and over again… Gabe was lighter than before, little more than skin and bones now, but his eyes, those big, bright whiskey eyes. They looked more alive than Sam had ever remembered, like he had been a dead man and had been revived, coming to life again in his arms. They looked sad, guilty, even, but still _alive._

“Hey… I'm alive. I could have died, but I didn't. Why? Because you saved me. You killed your _brother_ for me.” Sam murmured, taking Gabriel's hand in his own. He moved his hand from the scar that had formed there and moved it over his heart, letting the smaller man feel the reassuring pound in his chest. 

“My heart is still beating because of you.” Sam whispered. 

Sam was right. Gabriel knew he was right, but he couldn't help but feel guilty. If he had been less of a coward, and just shot Lucifer in his head, Sam never would have had to fight for his life, never would have been in the hospital if he'd had a spine. His brothers were right about him in a way. 

But Gabriel pushed that thought away. Sam was alive, and Gabriel was free and they were together. Everyone knew they were together, and they weren't hiding it any longer. 

Sam ran his fingers through Gabriel’s hair again, letting his thumb trail along his jaw, down over his chin, over his lips… He wanted to touch, to taste every inch of Gabriel's skin. The very thought of it sent a shock of arousal through him; he'd been entirely uninterested in sex ever since everything had happened, but now…

“Now,” Sam started. “Can we _please_ consummate the damn marriage already? It's been two goddamn months, and I may explode if I don't get inside of you within the next ten minutes.” 

He laughed at Sam’s request. “Sure thing, kiddo.” He smirked, unbuttoning the rest of Sam’s shirt and shoved it off his shoulders. “I'm more than happy to oblige.” 

He kissed Sam hard, working the fly on his pants and slipping his hands inside. He drank in every little moan Sam made as he pushed his pants and boxers down over his hips. He wanted to take his time, but clearly Sam had other ideas. 

Sam tore at Gabriel’s shirt, sending the buttons flying in his haste to get skin on skin, and Gabriel chuckled. “You owe me a shirt,” he teased, rolling his hips up so his hips came into contact with Sam’s. 

Sam gave a crooked smile before pulling Gabriel back down, claiming his lips again before tugging at his pants, trying to work them free. He couldn’t get them down at this position, so Sam opted to flipping them both over, pinning Gabriel down beneath him before tugging down his trousers, erection springing free as he tossed his clothes aside. 

“I’ll buy you a new shirt… I’ll buy you a whole goddamn wardrobe. I don’t care, I just need you.” He breathed, chest heaving as Sam let his fingers trail down over his body. 

He was so much thinner now, bones sticking from his flesh, his ribs prominent as Sam trailed over each one. Seeing him like this broke his heart, but he pushed the thought aside, deciding that he would help him get better over the next few months, return him to all of his former glory. He’d take Gabe out to Rossi’s every night for the next week, for the next _month,_ for as long as it took. 

Sam pushed his hand between the cushions, fishing for the vial of oil. Sam found it two weeks ago; Gabriel had left it there so many months ago, and Sam hadn’t had the heart to move it. He pulled it from the cushion and poured it over his fingers before leaning down to claim Gabe’s lips again. 

“God, I missed you so much, Gabe.” He whispered as he let his fingers trail down between his legs, circling his rim for a moment before pressing in with one finger. 

Gabriel bit his lip, stifling a hiss as Sam pushed inside him. He’d been in prison almost 2 months, and before that, they’d only been intimate once for the previous month. He knew it would take a bit for him to relax and open up, but he didn’t want it to. He wanted Sam now, needed to feel him, to know he was real, that this was real. 

He groaned when Sam pushed in a second finger, pressing down against him. He’d dreamt of nothing but Sam in jail, nothing but Sam beside him, and his dimples when he smiled. There were some days he’d been convinced that he was never going to see Sam again, some days he didn’t want to live without him, but now he was out, with Sam in his arms. 

“Tomorrow,” He said, sighing at the pleasure and pain that was shooting through him. “Tomorrow, we’re going to look at houses,” he told him, as Sam added another finger. 

Although he was all for what they were doing now, he wanted to do it in someplace of their own, some place untainted by the sins of their families. He wanted a place that could be just the two of them. 

Sam worked him open bit by bit, adding more oil as was needed, and it was driving Gabriel crazy. He needed more, needed to feel Sam’s length sheathed inside of him. 

“Please, Samm-” Gabriel bit his lip to stop himself. He was going to have to think of a new nickname for his lover. “Please, Sam. Need you, baby.” 

Sam pressed his lips against Gabriel’s collarbone, cock aching between his thighs as he pumped three fingers in and out of the tight heat, a harbinger for what was to come. He was so tight; he hadn’t been touched there in months, and Sam could feel it as he worked him open slowly. Sam was desperate to be sheathed inside of his body, but he didn’t want to risk hurting him. 

After a moment, Sam finally pulled his fingers away before wrapping them around his own cock, drizzling more oil over his length before lining himself up with Gabriel’s rim. He could feel the tight ring of muscle flutter around the head of his cock, feeling him clench beneath him. 

Biting down on his lip, Sam pushed in slowly, not wanting to risk any sort of damage. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Gabriel’s, swallowing each small moan that escaped the smaller man’s throat. He pulled away slightly as he pressed into the hilt, letting out a small moan as he sunk in as far as he could go. 

Gabriel held Sam close, he still couldn’t believe this wasn’t a dream, that Sam was alive and moving inside him. He moaned as Sam moved, appreciating every motion of him. 

Sam had missed this, had dreamt about this moment every night for the past two months. Sam’s fingers ran through his lover’s hair as he slowly began to thrust, thrusts slow but powerful. He wanted to take him fast and rough and hard until they were both screaming, but he knew that he shouldn’t. Couldn’t.

“My heart stopped when I was still in the hospital…. I was technically dead for about fifteen minutes. Doctor says I still need to be careful. Nothing too vigorous.” Sam murmured as he delivered another thrust into him. 

Sam pressed his lips against his shoulder, suckling lightly against his pale skin as he pressed deeper into him, feeling Gabriel’s muscles contracting around him. The Winchester slowly reached between them and gripped at Gabe’s weeping cock, stroking him slowly in time with his thrusts. 

“Do you wanna ride me? Like you did that first time?” He inquired, voice breathy as he slowly stilled inside of him.

His heart contracted when Sam told him about his heart, as if reacting in sympathy. Lucifer had killed him, had succeeded in making his heart stop. It was as if God had listened to his desperate prayers, that some divine power brought Sam back to him, and he was not going to question that gift. 

He nodded quickly as Sam asked him if he would ride him. “Whatever you want, kiddo. Whatever, whenever, it’s yours,” he told him, clinging to him as Sam flipped them into a seated position. 

Gabriel remembered how nervous he had been the first time, how Sam had struggled, so Gabriel had taken control. It seemed like almost a lifetime ago and maybe it was. They’d both died and been reborn again into a new life, a new life that they could live free of their families and together. 

Gabriel eased up onto his knees, setting a faster pace, as the pain inside him bled into pleasure. It flowed over him like a wave every time he dropped down on Sam’s cock, taking him deeper and deeper. 

Gabriel threaded his hands in Sam’s hair, pulling him down to kiss him again. “I love you, Sam,” he told him over and over as he kissed him. “I’m never leaving you again, as long as I live.” 

Sam studied him over, staring up at him like he was a god. He was beautiful, and he was there and he was alive and he was _his._ Sam let out a moan as Gabriel sunk back down onto his length, head thrown back in ecstasy as the tight, damp heat enveloped him. Sam pressed his fingers hard into his thighs, coloring him with bruises, painting his pale skin with deep bruises, claiming him as his own. 

“You better not leave me ever again.” Sam whispered, clinging tight to him as he wrapped his arms tight around him, burying his face into his chest. “I love you so goddamn much, Gabriel Novak.” 

Sam had never held so tightly to another person, squeezing him tight, refusing to ever let him go. He was never letting go of him again, never letting him leave his side. No one was ever taking his angel away from him, not in a million years. He would never let go again. 

This would be their lives now. Blood-pumping, sweat-pouring, adrenaline rushing through their veins as they made love over and over and over again. They’d build their lives together, and no matter the laws, no matter the people who would undoubtedly judge them, no one was ever going to take his Gabriel away from him. 

Sam took Gabriel’s hand in his own, leading it toward his shoulder. The bruise that Gabriel had marked him with all those months ago remained there; Sam had refused to let it heal, pressing his thumb into it every time that it so much as began to fade. He pulled Gabriel down, pressing his lips hard against his lover’s, holding tight. 

“Still yours.” Sam whispered, a small, crooked smile tingeing at the corners of his mouth.

“Yours too,” he moaned, digging his fingers into Sam’s shoulder as he used them for leverage. “From the day I met you, yours,” 

He looked down at the bruise on his shoulder, thinking back to the day when he’d given it to him. He almost couldn’t believe that Sam had re-bruised it over and over just to keep a part of Gabriel with him. Now he would never have to again, because Gabriel would be there to give him all the bruises he could handle. 

Gabriel bit down lightly over the bruise, just enough to reinforce it, but not enough to break the skin. 

It was true. Gabriel had been Sam Winchester’s, heart and soul, from the day he met him, even if he didn’t know it yet. Sam had changed his life, freed him from the tyranny of his brothers, and given him a future. He couldn’t ask for more. 

He’d be spending every night, every day with the man he loved, for the rest of his life. It was really a dream come true, he thought, as he picked up his pace. He could feel his balls drawing up, pressure building that signaled his impending release. Gabriel wanted to feel Sam empty inside him as he came, hold him through every shudder. 

Gabriel threw back his head as Sam brushed his prostate and he felt a crackle of pleasure shoot up his spine. He repeated the action over and over, crying out, not caring if anyone else heard. 

“Love you,” he whimpered, trying to hold back as his orgasm began to build up inside of him.

Sam’s arms tightened around his lover as he thrust up into Gabe’s body, letting out a loud cry, burying his face into the crook of his neck. His orgasm overtook him as he slammed himself hard into the tight heat of Gabriel’s body, filling him with his come, pleasure overriding every sense. 

Sam could feel Gabriel’s inner walls contracting around him as the smaller man came, hot, white ropes of come covering both of them. Sam paid no heed to the mess as he pulled Gabriel tighter into him, refusing to let go. 

Sam slipped out of Gabriel as his cock began to soften inside of him. He didn’t want to lose the closeness, the feeling of being entirely entwined with his Gabriel, but as his cock softened inside of his lover, he found himself becoming overly sensitive, forcing him away. 

Sam unsheathed himself and shifted so that they were on their sides again. They were laying on a busted couch in a dusty old basement, and Sam couldn’t have been more contented. Sam pulled Gabriel tighter into his chest, holding him as tightly as he could, skin to skin, chest to chest, nose to nose… With a small smile, Sam pressed a kiss against Gabriel’s nose, running his fingers through his hair. 

“I love you so much, Gabriel.” He whispered.

Gabriel held Sam close, not willing to let him get away. He’d waited too long for this day, too long to hold him without looking over his shoulder, or waiting for the other shoe to drop. No one could take Sam away from him now. 

Every night he had slept in prison, he’d pictured this exact scenario. Sam laying across from him, exhausted from a round of sex, holding him closely. It was the only way he could make himself feel calm enough to sleep. But nothing felt as good as the real thing. 

He pressed his sweaty forehead to Sam’s, feeling his lover’s breath on his face, breathing in the same air. 

Tomorrow they would go look for the place of their dreams, tomorrow they would forge their own path, make their own lives, together. Nine months ago, he would have laughed if someone had told him that this was in the cards for him, that this was his future. Gabriel almost felt like he was still in prison dreaming. 

He had been so alone those weeks, with no one else to talk to, not knowing if one of the only people he cared about was okay. 

One thing was just sure, as he pulled Sam into a kiss. He would never be alone again. 

Sam pulled Gabe's hand up to his chest again, pressing it up against his pounding heart. The scars on his chest, the mangled flesh prominent against the pale skin. Sam knew they'd never fade entirely, but they were reminders of what they had been through. 

Sam smiled as he pressed his face into the crook of his neck, breathing him. This would be what he woke up to every morning, what he fell asleep to every night… It was as if the sins of their fathers and the pain of their pasts had been washed away, leaving something new and beautiful in its wake. 

As he lay there, Sam remembered something that he'd read when he had first begun to realize that he was truly in love with Gabriel Novak. 

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…_


	11. Chapter 11

Gabriel pulled another tray of Christmas cookies out of the oven, putting them down on the trivet to cool. He’d been decorating christmas cookies all day, and most of them were drying on the counter. He turned to find Sam pilfering one of them, their two dogs, Garth and Rufus, begging for crumbs at his feet. 

“Samuel Winchester-Novak, you better not be be stealing my cookies before Dean and Cas get here,” Gabriel warned, and Sam put the cookie back down on the tray with a pout. 

It had been nearly a year since Gabriel had gotten out of prison and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t the happiest year of his life. The day after he got out, they did was they’d always said and went out and bought a house of their own in the county; a big old farm house with a large yard and a picket fence, far enough away from the city that it didn’t taint their new lives and close enough that their brothers could visit. 

Cas had chosen to stay in the city, and try and salvage what remained of their business. Gabriel helped him on occasion but none of the dirty work that Michael had required. He was trying to make it all legal, but with most of their assets tied up in bootlegging, it was harder than it seemed. Eventually, Castiel and Dean had decided to combine what was left of their separate businesses, and had been working as friends and business partners ever since. Dean hadn’t mentioned it, but Castiel had let it slip that they were living together now, and Gabe had a hunch that they were probably sleeping in the same bedroom. 

Today, Castiel and Dean had been designated to get a Christmas tree so they could all decorate together as one family. Sam and Gabriel had decorated the rest of the house with wreaths and mistletoe, and made enough food to feed a small army. 

Gabriel was transferring the cookies to a tray when he heard a knock at the door. “Can you get the door, Sam? It’s probably Dean with the tree.” 

Sam gave a small nod, hurrying toward the door with more spring in his step than usual. Something about the music and the lights and the festivities brightened his mood this year. In years prior, Christmas had never been priority. Between the business and their father and Sam’s general pessimistic outlook at the time, Christmas had always been bleak, but these days, his life had turned for the better, and Christmas was returned to all its former glory. 

He bounded toward the door, dogs trailing behind him. He pulled the door open to find Dean and Cas standing with the tree hiked over their shoulders. Dean was bundled up in a heavy coat and a scarf, trying to keep warm against the bitter cold, snow blowing hard. Castiel, however, didn't seem fazed in the slightest, wearing his typical suit and trench coat and nothing else. Sam ushered them in, trying to keep the dogs back as they hurried inside. 

Dean and Cas had formed something of a friendship, though he and Gabriel suspected that it was secretly something a bit more than that. They didn't mention it (often), but they'd had their suspicions since the beginning. Something about the way that Dean’s touches lingered a little longer than socially acceptable, the way that Cas made eye contact with Dean and no one else… 

“Put it in the living room; we cleared out a place for it.” Sam instructed, saving proper holiday greetings for later. 

Dean obliged, dragging the massive tree through the kitchen and toward the living room. The tree he'd gotten was enormous, bigger than what their home could really hold, but Sam didn't entirely mind it. They probably wouldn't be able to fit a star on top, but it would do. More room for ornaments.

Sam followed them back toward the kitchen, but stopping there, reaching over and grabbing one of the cookies that Gabe had sat out before shoving it into his mouth. Gabriel shot him a disapproving look, only to be met with a cheeky smirk, mouth full. 

“They're here!” Sam protested his husband’s mock-disapproving glare. 

Sam had never quite been as happy as he was with Gabriel. They had moved into their home a few weeks after Gabe had returned from prison, and since then, Gabriel had kept his promise when it came to ‘consummating’ over every surface in the house. On the kitchen counter, against every wall, in every single room in the house. Neither of them had been working, aside from occasionally helping their brothers. They'd made enough money from their previous dealings to ride easy for the next several years, though they had continued talking about potentially opening a club for people like themselves. 

It had been bliss, really. And after all that they had been through, Sam figured that they deserved it. 

Gabriel smiled as his brother and Dean wrestled the huge tree into the living room and began setting it up. Even a year ago he wouldn’t have pictured this scenario as possible in his life. His brother and his enemy putting up a Christmas tree in the house he shared with another former enemy. It couldn’t have been anymore perfect. 

The tree Cas and Dean had picked as far too big for their house, but Gabriel wasn’t about to tell them that. Cas and Dean had become friends in the months since Gabriel got out of prison, and he didn’t want to do anything to spoil what could turn out to be more than just friends, if he and Sam suspected right. 

It had been years since the Novaks celebrated Christmas, and Gabriel didn’t dare go digging into the attic to find their decorations. Besides, he didn’t want anything tainted by his family legacy in his new home. 

Gabriel had spent the better part of the last week buying balls and baubles for their tree and he had them piled in the corner, along with the tinsel and garland he’d found. They would make their own new traditions, together. 

Gabriel brought out a tray of cookies and spiked hot cocoa out from the kitchen. “C’mon, this tree isn’t going to decorate itself,” he urged them, setting the tray down on their sidetable and snagging a cup and cookie for himself. 

Sam followed Gabriel into the living room. Dean was pulling off his coat, shaking off the snow that still clung to him before collapsing on the couch for a moment. They hadn’t brought much of anything from their old lives into their home, but Sam had insisted on taking that old couch. He’d spent a week fixing the crack in the frame, not wanting to let it waste away down in that basement. It was one of the few things from his old home that still held good memories, and Sam hadn’t wanted to let it go. 

Sam turned toward the box of ornaments in the corner, pulling out one before hanging it on one of the lower branches. The tree bumped against the ceiling, and Sam figured that he’d be the only one to be able to reach the higher branches. 

He turned to Gabe, watching as he stood on tiptoes to hang up one of the ornaments, trying to hang it higher up, but he couldn’t quite reach. Sam chuckled and took the ornament from him, hanging it with ease. 

Gabriel shot back a look; Sam liked to tease him with how much taller he was. Sam was a good six inches taller, at least, and while both of them loved how easily Sam could pick up and manhandle the smaller man, Gabe did tend to be a bit bitter in other aspects. It was kind of funny, really. Sam let out a small laugh at Gabe’s reaction and leaned down, pressing a small kiss against his forehead before leaning back into the box and tossing him another ornament, letting him hang it himself this time. 

Dean had flopped onto the couch, and Castiel stood next to him, the younger Novak always standing just a bit too stiff, a bit awkward, but it had always just been part of his charm. One hand grazed the elder Winchester’s arm as he stood there, and Dean seemed to lean slightly into the touch. Sam gave a small smile as he hung another ornament. 

“You two wanna get your asses over here and help us?” Sam inquired with a small chuckle.

Cas took a step forward with a small look of realization on his face, like he hadn’t realized before that he was supposed to be helping. Dean gave an exaggerated groan as he rose to his feet, turning to the box of ornaments and hanging one.

Gabriel looked over his family and smiled. This was how Christmas was supposed to be, this was how life was supposed to be, not the farce he had been living. 

Sure, family had problems sometimes, but there was love undermining every it. There had been no love in the Novak family since his father had died, and Gabriel had forgotten what it was like to love and be loved in return. 

He watched Sam tease Dean, and Cas examine each ornament before deciding where it would look best on the tree. He heard their laughter fill their house, and drive the ghosts of so much misery away. He smelled the cookies, and cocoa and the sharp crisp smell of snow outside. It was intoxicating. 

Gabriel pulled Sam down into a kiss, wrapping his arms around him. 

“Merry Christmas, Sammich,” he whispered not caring if Cas and Dean saw them. They weren’t hiding, not anymore. 

Sam smiled and pressed another small kiss against his lips, then his nose, holding tight to him. “Merry Christmas, Gabe.” He whispered, running a hand through his hair.

“God, get a room, you two.” Dean groaned. 

Sam rolled his eyes and pulled Gabe tighter into his chest, claiming his lips again before pulling him back toward the couch. 

“I got you something.” He whispered. They had both agreed on saving gifts for Christmas morning in a few days, but Sam was getting giddy. Besides, it would be more convenient to give it to him now. 

Sam reached behind a throw pillow where he had hidden the box earlier that day, a small box wrapped in brown paper tied with a red string. It was simple, but Sam was confident that Gabriel would be pleased. He handed it to him, and Gabe opened his mouth to protest, but Sam gave him a look, begging for him to just take it. 

Sam watched giddily as Gabriel opened the gift, pulling away the paper and opening the small black box beneath. He smiled as the gold glinted in the low light. It was a small keychain with two things attached; a single key, and the golden anti-possession charm that Sam had given him so long ago. 

“Purgatory went out of business a couple of months ago, and I couldn’t bear to see it go. I mean, it’s where we met, and I couldn’t just hand it over to someone else. And I know how much you’ve wanted to open up a club for men who like men, and women who like women… So I bought the place. It’s the key. It’s yours.”

Sam gave him a crooked smile. “Merry Christmas.” 

Gabriel was speechless. He looked at Sam, then the keys, then Sam again, his mouth hanging open like a fish. 

There weren’t words to describe the love that was welling in his chest for the man who had just given him this gift. It wasn’t even the gift himself that had him feeling that way, but the thought behind it. Sam had preserved the place where it had all begun for them, and given it to him to start his dream business. 

Instead, he threw himself into Sam’s arms, kissing him hard and deep, trying to make him understand the depth of the emotions he was feeling. 

Dean made a gagging noise behind him, but Gabriel ignored him. He had never been happier in his life that he was in that moment, holding the man he loved, safe, happy and healthy, decorating their first Christmas tree. He almost wished he could pause life right here and live it over and over for the rest of his life. 

Finally he came up for air, grinning up at Sam. “When can we go?” he asked, anxious to get started. He had so many ideas in his head for their club, he couldn’t control himself. 

Sam let out a small laugh, pulling the smaller man closer. He hadn't anticipated such an enthusiastic reaction; he'd known that Gabriel would like it, but he’d never seen Gabe’s eyes light up like that. 

He could picture it clearly, imagine their lives together after this. It would be a risk, seeing as sodomy was still a crime, but Gabriel knew how to cover his tracks, and knew a damn good lawyer if they needed it. Legalities wouldn't matter once it got up and running. Girls who liked girls and boys who liked boys would no longer have to feel the crippling shame of who and what they were. They could have a place where they didn't have to feel so alone. 

“I'll take you in the morning.” Sam chuckled. “We’ll start getting it fixed up after the New Years. Get it open by spring.” 

Sam had never seen Gabriel smile so wide, and he could see the gears turning behind his eyes. He wondered what was going on inside of that brain of his. Sam had always been book smart, but Gabe was far more street smart, knowing how to run a business. Gabe was far more creative than he was, and Sam loved it. 

He pulled Gabriel into another kiss, pulling him in close, wanting every inch of him. He knew that he couldn't have him here, now, not with Dean and Cas right there, but as soon as they left…

 _“Jesus,_ you two.” Dean groaned, and Sam laughed, pulling away from Gabe’s lips slightly. 

Gabriel resisted the urge to make a rude gesture at Dean, slipping his hand into Sam’s, and kissing it. 

The fact that Dean even deigned to make a comment was as a big step forward. Even though he was alright with them being together, it had been almost a year in the making. Accepting that Sam was gay was one thing, accepting Sam was in love with a man who had been their enemy as long as they were alive was completely another. 

Gabriel didn’t blame him in the slightest. It would have been a lot for anyone, let alone Dean, who had lost his families members to Gabriel’s brothers. At first, Dean just stubbornly ignored him, then it was feigned indifference, and finally, bland small talk. It was a baby step but it was something. Gabriel knew his friendship with Cas had something to do with it. 

Gabriel didn’t know what to make of whatever was between Dean and Cas. He always felt like he was intruding on something private when he was around them, like it was something intimate. Dean insisted they were friends, but Gabriel and Sam had their doubts. There was something strange going on there, most certainly, but that could wait. 

Gabriel took another golden ball from it’s packaging and hung it on a branch. He surveyed his family, one he’d made on his own, and smiled. 

“C’mon this tree ain’t gunna decorate itself.”

 

~~~~

 

The wind blew cold around them, but Sam couldn't have been warmer, some warm happiness radiating through him. He watched his husband fiddle with the key, pushing the door open. Sam felt a pang of nostalgia. He could remember the first time that they'd met outside of these doors, walking down to Rossi’s together from here. 

Gabe shoved the heavy, metal door open, Sam following close behind before letting it slam shut again, leaving them in a shroud of darkness. Sam reached over and flicked the switch, a low hum filling the silence as the warm, low lights flickered on. 

It was empty, colder than it had been so long ago. It had been a lifetime since Sam had eyed Gabriel Novak across this room. Lifetimes since their first dance. Sam had been in here a couple of times, but he hadn't fully felt the crush of just how long it had been. 

Sam pressed a small kiss against the side of Gabriel's neck before walking to the other end of the bar, finding the very place he had stood that night. The lights weren't so low, and the music wasn't blaring, and no one was there to obstruct his view, no one there to judge them. Gabriel stood in the same place he had, but he looked so different. He looked so infinitely happier. 

How far they had come. Sam could feel it all playing out in his mind’s eye. Finally finding the courage to start talking to the man that he’d been exchanging glances with across the bar for weeks. Following him to a shitty motel where they would make love over and over for the next six months. Falling so quickly, trusting him enough to spend the night with his arms wrapped around the smaller man… All of it had started right here. 

Sam turned toward the record player that sat in the corner. He'd brought it in a few days earlier, along with a single record, hoping that this might happen. He hadn’t been able to resist the sentiment. He dropped the needle onto the vinyl, the crackle of the speakers echoing through the room as the song started. It had been played live that night, but this would do. 

Sam took a step toward the man he loved so much, strolling across the room with a small smile before holding out a hand. 

“May I have this dance?”

Gabriel looked up at him and it all came back to him. The night they first met, the night they first danced, the night everything had changed for him. 

He remembered how nervous he was, how his palms were sweaty at the mere thought of dancing with Sam Winchester in this very hall, in front of all these people. How they’d done it anyway. He’d pressed closed against Sam, much closer than was considered proper. He’d thrown caution to the wind, and as he pressed against him again, in a very different circumstance, he vaguely wondered what would have happened between them if he hadn’t. 

Gabriel slipped his hand into Sam’s. “I’d love to.” 

The taller man smiled down at him and led him to the center of the dance floor. Gabe laid his head against Sam’s heart, listening as much to the music as he was to his steadily beating heart. They swayed together to the music, much as they had that fateful night, with one exception: there would be no trip to the motel after, not dirty sheets and hidden whispers. After they finished here, Gabriel would take Sam back the home they shared, and make love to him, soft and tender in their bed. They wouldn’t have to slip out the back door, they would lock the front door when they left, to return at their pleasure. 

Gabriel looked up at Sam, who had his eyes closed, humming off-key to the music as they swayed, wondering if he was thinking the same thing. Sam opened his eyes, smiling the same crooked smile that made Gabriel fall for him. 

Sam smiled down at his angel, his husband, the man that he loved so much, holding him close. He couldn’t wait to take him home, maybe make love to him in the same way that they had that first night. But for right then, he was content just holding him, dancing to their song. 

“Let's get outta here.” Gabriel said to him, mirroring the words that Sam had said to him on that night, the words that had started everything. 

Sam grinned at him, slipping his hand into Gabriel’s, and dragged him out the door and into the rest of their lives. 

Together.

_Good little bad little you,_

_What makes you tease like you do?_

_I look into your angel eyes,_

_They're little devils in disguise!_


End file.
